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About Bulgakov

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 05/31/1948

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Quartzsite, AZ
  • Interests
    Writing, TV, Internet, History, Thinking too much

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  1. Forums like this are the original type of social media. Along with the Internet, Usenet newsgroups were the first forums, they still exist, I think. There are differences between this and Facbook and Twitter. It's usually not face-to-face time here as it can be more immediate , like a chatroom, on FBook and Twitter. Here you can even edit your message if you feel like you've said something you didn't mean. And, as you say, it depends on the people who are here, or there. Mean people tend to congregate where there are lots of people, and controversial subjects. If you want to see mean forums, just look at a few of the frequently used Reddit topics. People try to be decent here. It's to help, a throwback to how the Internet started out.
  2. I played PC video games soon as they were invented I think. Super Mario Brothers, and the original Zelda. Mostly role playing, historical empire building. 1st person shooters weren't my favorite, but I played a lot of the arcade types anyway. It was a great think for DP folks. Sometimes my ex used to play them with me. I went to buy a car, and there was a spot to put down the names of close friends. I looked at my wife, and the only ones we could think of were Mario and Luigi.
  3. In the RV park in which I currently stay, there are cotton tails everywhere. Since dogs are generally kept on leash, they have no natural enemies here except for the vehicles. They don't run from humans unless you are right on them. I should throw a few rocks at them to remind them that humans are dangerous. FYI, they are not an ingredient in "Welsh rarebit" which is basically cheese melted on toast.
  4. Twenty years or so ago, I read a magazine dedicated to following the Grateful Dead, called--can't remember. Anyway, you could write a person listed in the mag who was in Texas, doing a life sentence for possession of marijuana.
  5. "You Bet Your Life," with "folks won't you come in and meet, Groucho Marx," G. Finneman. Great series, genuine pioneer TV. I'm watching episodes from 1952. The "prize" money that determines if you will be the couple playing for $1,000 dollars, ranges from $10 to $250 dollars. "Secret Word" only pays one hundred bucks. Also get to watch the 1952 DeSoto car commercials with it. Thirty years from now these shows become "antiques." The laugh tracks might have been added later. I barely remember the advent of laugh tracks. I remember I didn't like the idea. Still don't. Bulgakov the Black and White
  6. Got a laugh from that, thanks. Goes along with "being your own best friend."
  7. Hi Lost, I'm sorry to hear of your (our) situation. It's a common thread--loneliness--running through the posts. I don't know if lonely people are likely to be depressed or vice versa . . . probably both happening. I'm always lonely, I think, but not always depressed. If I'm involved in something, anything for me, I don't notice the loneliness so much. It's good you mention plants. It's a cliche that someone has a plant they talk to. Plants are great though. When I had room for a vegetable garden, I always had one. In the 60s, and 70s, house plants were more of a thing. If you didn't have a Wandering Jew, or a Piggyback plant and cuttings going, then a house wasn't complete. House plants don't really have a place in the digital age. So thanks for reminding me. I'm going to get a house plant. Stay friends with your willows! Bulgakov the Green
  8. My worst remembrance was a year scientists announced that if you eat enough cranberry sauce, it'll cause cancer. You had to eat a whole bunch; more than a person would ever eat. Anyway, mom said, no cranberry sauce with the turkey, mashed potatoes, and dressing for Thanksgiving. I don't especially like turkey anyway, but the dressing was nothing without cranberry sauce for me. I kept telling ma that you had to eat pounds of cranberry sauce, according to the same reports. But she wouldn't give in. I'm glad she isn't raising me today, with everything from Michael Douglas' wife, to cranberry sauce now listed as carcinogenic.
  9. I've always put styrofoam in the microwave, though I have heard about "burning" it releases toxins. I've mostly put it in to reheat Chinese food.
  10. Banquet Chicken Pot Pie, and I'll borrow a signature from someone on here when I say, "I ain't 'skeert." Owing to some physical things, I don't eat much, and a pot pie is often about the right amount. I used to get Marie Callendar's pot pies, but Banquet and Marie have, for me switched positions in the last few years. Now it's Marie who--at 2x to 3x the cost--is using more and more crust and less and less filling, which used to be my beef with Banquet. Banquet now has equal or better amount and quality of filling, and a good crust. IMHO. "Parts is parts," Captain Marvyn Sanders.
  11. "And if all the other kids jumped off a bridge, would you jump off too!"
  12. People who don't know how to apologize, or, who apologize "for" me. "Im sorry if I offended, but . . . " then on to why it was right to offend you. How about, just you apologizing for what you've done that you thinks needs an apology, and I'll do the same. I'll apologize for what I feel I've done or said that I recognize was wrong or rude, and you do the same. No more "fake" apologies!
  13. Not exactly and insightful teacher. Kids with severe hearing deficits are often selfish like that too. Sheesh. Bulga
  14. Hello Hendricksbrock, I feel very bad for you young man. I assume you're of student age, college. The tone of your description of your feelings, is as desperate as anyone has ever shared with me on the forum. Thank you for sharing your fears. The fact that you don't include any background, or thoughts about how you ended up where you are only emphasizes your need for some relief. I believe I've only experienced the totality of what you're feeling once, and I ended up in the hospital after a botched attempt of self *******. So, first, don't do what I did, or, if you are thinking it, call the help that's offered on most pages of the forum. You've said that you have had experience with counseling, and don't have much confidence in it. Too, like with the suggested yoga, it would take some time and effort to begin that again. There's nothing wrong with yoga, just exercises to help you calm your mind. But it sounds like your need again is more immediate. Some here swear by their counseling therapy, but like you, my experience has mainly left a lot to be desired, like, a positive result, but I would set those wheels in motion, because a "good" one has been the best therapy for some here, and the main ingredient is the person you'll be dealing with. Also didn't hear your past experience with meds. I've had better results with medication, and even if not a long term answer, they may be able to take the load off while you consider other options. Besides ongoing depression, I've only had panic attacks on a few occasions a few months back. If I hadn't been reading about them on this forum, I wouldn't have known what was happening. I simply woke up one regular morning, nothing special wrong or right, and couldn't get my breath. That was very scary. Please plug away at seeing a prescribing doctor or therapist and tell them like you've told us. You need to be able to get your breath right now. Tell, suggest, or otherwise get them to understand you need some help in that direction now, then you can talk about intervention with a longer range in mind. If all you can do is freak out, you have to first address that. I wish I had something easier, quicker, more certain for you. Take a breath, and take some action as much as you can manage. Dangling at rope's end is no way to live, and we're dangling with you. Please keep in touch with the forum and let us know how you are doing. Best, Bulgakov
  15. Bulgakov


    To call yourself--not you JD, anybody--anything is often a bigger commitment than people realize. Once you sign on as a nihilist or existentialist, nothing much more of dialogue or monologue need be said. But of course, it always is. In 1964 a band calling itself "The Fugs" as formed in NYC. Their style and lyrics probably came closer than most to explicating the inexplicable. From their debut album, perhaps their signature song (lyrics only here) needs to be heard to appreciate they monster swings they took to avoid making contact with a song, or music. These are the lyrics to "Nothing". There was a band of five I think, and many of the tunes were held together by a heavy and repetitive back "stomp," clashing sounds, abrupt halts, and a guitarist obviously practicing to become a "lead" guitar as he goes. (only a few unallowed words crossed or blacked out." " Monday, nothing Tuesday, nothing Wednesday and Thursday nothing Friday, for a change a little more nothing Saturday once more nothing Sunday nothing Monday nothing Tuesday and Wednesday nothing Thursday, for a change a little more nothing Friday once more nothing (As above in Yiddish believe, feel free to correct me) Montik gornisht, Dinstik Gornisht Midwoch an Donnerstik gornisht Fritik, far a noveneh gornisht pikveleh Shabas nach a mool gornisht Lunes nada Martes nada Miercoles y Jueves nada Viernes, por cambia un poco mas nada Sabado otra vez nada January nothing February nothing March and April nothing May and June a lot more nothing July nothing '29 nothing '32 nothing '39, '45 nothing 1965 a whole lot of nothing 1966 nothing reading nothing writing nothing even arithmetic nothing geography, philosophy, history, nothing social anthropology a lot of nothing oh, Village Voice nothing New Yorker nothing Sing Out and Folkways nothing Harry Smith and Allen Ginsberg nothing, nothing, nothing poetry nothing music nothing painting and dancing nothing The world's great books a great set of nothing Audy and Foudy nothing fucking nothing sucking nothing flesh and sex nothing Church and Times Square all a lot of nothing nothing, nothing, nothing Stevenson nothing Humphrey nothing Averell Harriman nothing John Stuart Mill nil, nil Franklin Delano nothing Karlos Marx nothing Engels nothing Bakunin and Kropotkin nothing Leon Trotsky lots of nothing Stalin less than nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing lots and lots of nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing lots of it nothing! Not a God damn thing" Just remember if you call yourself a nihilist, you're taking in a lot of territory. Also, please let me know if any of the "whited" sections--only three--come up showing after posting. I can check, but don't know if, being my post, I'll see it the same as everyone else. Only three words and they weren't thrown in to sensationalize, but are necessary given the theme explored.
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