Jump to content
Donate Now Read more... ×

sad in grand Rapids

Newbie
  • Content count

    14
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About sad in grand Rapids

  • Rank
    Newbie

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. sad in grand Rapids

    blew up

    because I am a burden
  2. sad in grand Rapids

    blew up

    I don't know anyone who could be a roommate. wish I did. also I don't drive so has be on bus line which makes it harder to find places. I've looked into low income housing and the wait is years. feel like a bad person . it's also so hard on my mom which makes me feel like a burden . thanks for the support. David
  3. sad in grand Rapids

    blew up

    my dad was picking on me and I was feeling really low and on edge and I exploded and had meltdown. I feel so bad and know I can't live here anymore. I just dont know what to do I afraid I will hurt my father he says such hurtful things.he also not nice to my mom. I wish I could move out but have no were to go. i feel so bad . David
  4. sad in grand Rapids

    cause of depression

    I know why I'm depressed I' hate living with my parents. first I don't make enough money combined between job and disability payments. If I get a job that pays more I lose disability. so I would have to make 17 dollars an hour to support my self. rent where I live is 800 a month then utilities. I can't find a job that pays this much. all this is just to much to handle. not to mention I'm tired all the time. in addition I pay my share of expenses in the house I give my whole disability check to parents. I get to keep pay check but don't have any savings. so this makes me feel hopeless. I feel powerless to change my life. .my life feels like a nightmare and I feel like a loser. David
  5. sad in grand Rapids

    going through hell

    Thanks getting in out feels good. Keeping it inside doesn't help it just leads to me exploding and says I hate my life. I also realise nothing going to change while I have such a low opinion of my self. I don't think highly of my self. I'm also having trouble talking about my feelings with my therapist I m haven't been truly honest about the way I feel. I think I'm gonna switch threapsit I feel I have this preconceived notion about what my therapist schould be like . I think to my self God seeing her isn't doing any good. on the other hand am i just so delusional that this is a paranoid fantasy of mine. I've lied about drinking and how much I get stoned. i feel like I'm two different people regular depressive david and stoned and drinking. I don't get drunk. m the way I feel changes a lot. I'm Ethier doing horrible or on top of world. I'm up and down a lot . I am real tired of pretending to feel good for others while you privately you think I must be nuts I just have to be crazy if i really told someone everything in my head I would be locked up for my own good. the doc would say you are just plain nuts because this is how I feel. thanks again I do really like to write. it is indeed emotional cathartic and clarifying to post hear. David
  6. sad in grand Rapids

    Feeling hopeless

    I m not doing any better than you. but you shouldn't worry about this. what I mean is get it checked out if you are worried but its probably anxiety I gotten so anxious I ended up in the hospital but as usual it was mostly in my head I think. its hard when you feel bad a lot I can't say for sure what's is in fact if anything that's wrong with you physically . I'm pretty lost my self but I have decided not to stuff my feelings any more. any way hope you feel better . talking about how you feel is helping me see things clearer. so feel better david
  7. sad in grand Rapids

    Feeling hopeless

  8. sad in grand Rapids

    going through hell

    I am in a living hell. I haven't been happy in more than a decade . I feel mixed up have very intense emotions. I need to change I am the problem. I need to change I'm not okay. I am ashamed of who I am. I m very sensitive I hate me. or I do I. I don't know who I am . . I'm never know the right thing to say. I live in my head and I feel like my heart is breaking in to million little pieces. I feel like humpty dumpty feel and you know the story. right now I feel like Chevy chase before he loses his dam mind in front of the police. that's it.
  9. sad in grand Rapids

    at work having crazy thoughts

    oh man did I just say that thats crazy.
  10. sad in grand Rapids

    at work having crazy thoughts

    feeling out of control with so many things. I feel so very empty,so very alone and at my very core I am so very tired. I am isolated and lonely person who badly need to stop having no one . I feel incomplete like a shell of a man I'm very high right now per usual.
  11. sad in grand Rapids

    at work having crazy thoughts

    i am home now feeling a little better.
  12. sad in grand Rapids

    at work having crazy thoughts

    real bad day didn't sleep feel like I am going to snap. feel really unbalanced. I need to escape. David
  13. sad in grand Rapids

    new and Feeling hopeless

    thank for reply.i am not doing much better today. The worst part of Depression Is i have no energy to do anything to make my life better. i wish i wasn't so tired.
  14. sad in grand Rapids

    new and Feeling hopeless

    I'm David I am new to this forum and looking for support and advice. I'm very depressed and feel so terrible .back ground I'm 37 still live with my parents because I can't afford to move out. I live on disability and a part time job. I also am so anxious and have become fobic of so many things. I am seeing therapist but isn't helping I am to depressed to the homework. sorry for rambling. I hate my life I can't even drive a car and can't even change anything. Im sorry for not proofreading. please help I'm at my breaking point I can't take it anymore. David
×