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About JessiesMom

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  • Birthday 11/09/1974

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    how things fit together - or don't

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  1. He is going through a tough transition in his life. Keep letting him know that you are there for him.
  2. So glad that it went well. I hope you can find a new therapist soon who will be a better fit for you. ((hugs))
  3. My son's Eagle scout project went a bit viral. The local paper and tv station did a story about it and we found out today that a national wire service picked up the story. The story appeared in more than half a dozen newspapers around the country and was covered on several radio programs. In addition, the mayor of St Paul mentioned him by name in his State of the City address. I think all that counts for at least three things.
  4. I am not at all surprised that you are having problems - it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I can understand a bit of what you are dealing with - as I too have a stressful job (well, two actually), a few kids with their own issues, etc. One of the biggest problems I have with how our modern society functions is that we individuals are expected to be able to keep all of their work balls, their family balls, their other balls in the air flawlessly. Any time we drop even one ball - we are told that we are letting the team down, or not carrying our own weight, or letting the company down......fill in the blank with the appropriate shame slogan that has been dropped on you. The reality is that there is only so much that a person can take. It sounds like you have reached your breaking point. I think that a leave of absence is what is in order for you to get back on an even keal. I hope that you can take some time to really look at what is going on in your life and figure out how to get some help keeping all those balls in the air. Regarding the Ketamine - it seems like it is the new thing for treating depression/anxiety. It sound to me like what you really need is rest and relaxation, but I am not a doctor. A few weeks back, I broke my leg slipping on the GD ice outside my house. The result was that I had to take some time off work - and it helped me get things a bit into perspective as far as what was being asked of me by my employer and whether or not what they are asking of me is reasonable. I do not know that I have an answer yet - but it really is a good question to ask.
  5. I would say yes - this is emotional abuse. I am so sorry they are like that ;-(
  6. @Lilly333 - I wish that I had as much courage as you. I still have a sort of relationship with my mother. As a matter of fact I spent most of the day on Saturday with her and my sister. I did not leave feeling good at all. I have come to terms with the strangeness of my childhood. There were definetly good parts of it - but the result was that I did not really fit in with my peer group. Something that has helped me over the past few years is bonding with my siblings. We can laugh at the strangeness and comisitate at the craziness of our parents. Knowing that I am not the only one helped.
  7. Oh man, I know where you are coming from. I am 44 years old - and I feel like my entire life has been a struggle. I was a strange child for various reasons, and this led to me being bullied for most of my elementary and junior high career. On top of which, my mother is something of a narcissist and her inability to help me and her lack of ability to validate my feelings made things worse. One of the worst things that I have ever heard is that to really be content, you have to get in touch with your authentic self. I call bullshit. If I ever had such a thing as an authentic self - it has long since been smashed into a million pieces and ground into the dirt. I just have to deal with the self that I have now - as damaged as it is and carry on. I don't have an answer to your question of "why?" All I can offer you is the knowledge that you are not alone, you are not the only one. Maybe that can offer you some comfort.
  8. I agree with @Epictetus - it really depends on how understanding your friends are. I can foresee two scenerios, both of which have happened in my life. My son has a problem with emotional eating. He started gaining weight in about 3rd or 4th grade, but things really got out of control a few years later. I will be honest, I did not know how to react. I started not buying some of the food that he would binge on, but then he would eat something else. It was not until we started seeing a therapist that I finally saw what was going on. Around the time that the problem began, he was being bullied quite badly. This lasted for two year. Then my Grandfather, with whom he was quite close, passed away. Then more bullying. Then my brother-in-laws suicide. On top of all of that, his sister, who is an attention magnet, was born. Once I got a handle of what was going on, I was able to support him and connect with him in a way that I never had. My husband, however, has never really gotten a handle on how shaming effects the problem. So, there are still some episodes of shaming, which I try to deal with as best as I can. One the other hand - there is my relationship with my best friend. He gives me a hard time about how much water I drink and how much I exercise. But I know that it is all coming from a place of caring, and his keeping me accountable was really helping me to get on a better exercise routine (before I broke my leg) and to be more mindful of making better food and drink decisions. You know you friends. If there are some of them you can trust with this information, and trust to be supportive and helpful - then honesty can help. This is a difficult thing, because unlike drinking or smoking - you have to eat.
  9. Not awesome - visiting my mother. Apparently I can't even suffer correctly or enough - she has to one up my every complaint about by broken leg with one about her problems.
  10. Finished the February close for employer #1. Finished the taxes for employer #2. Exciting stuff - my life. 😉
  11. Well, that information adds another layer. Is it possible that he is getting pressure from his boss to not continue his "enmeshment" with you and that his distancing behavior is his attempt to do so? Perhaps the "professional" justifications did not feel authentic because they were not coming from him but rather from advice he got from someone else. You are correct - however - that it is not your job to be his therapist. It seems that, if you are to continue to see him, you need to clear the air a bit and regain some trust. This situation has somethings in common with a break-up - but the reality is that the only obligation you have in this situation is to yourself and your own mental health. He is, after all, essentially an employee - and if it is time to move on, move on. You may find that a new therapist could offer you some new perspectives and/or techniques to combat your symptoms. That being said - it is a bit like entering the dating pool again. 😜
  12. That is odd. I say things like that all the time, but of course there is never any intention of actually hurting the person - it is just venting. It seems like you have previously viewed him as an ally - and someone who gets you. But this current behavior is making you question that - understandably. It almost sounds like he had you in a specific box in his head - and for some reason your offhand comment made him question if that was the right box. So instead of going to a place of understanding - he went to a place of distancing and re-evaluation. My thought is to go into the next session expecting the best and see what happens. You could have unintentionally triggered something in him that caused this reaction. Therapists are, after all, only human - and many of them have stuff in their past that caused understanding the human mind and mental illness to be compelling. In a perfect world, that stuff would not bleed over to their patients - but we do not live in a perfect world. However, if things continue to be distant and you do not feel that you are making any progress - it might be time to move on. ((hugs))
  13. I grew up with cats, so I really love their independence - but I would not trade my dog for anything. I was thinking a while back about how dogs and humans evolved together. It is rather funny that we think that we got the good end of that deal.
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