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StoicLady

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  1. Just told to take it a night. If you do this does it mess with your sleep?
  2. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Thank you so much...i appreciate it. I used to collect editions of that story. I still love it. Theres just so much toxicity in the world and its hard to keep it out. Ugh. Trying to renew old relationships and forge new ones. Good ones with foundations of strnghth and hope. Hope right now is friends and a counseling appt on monday. Thank you again for the hope.
  3. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Trying not slide back into pit of guilt. So many mistakes i have made. So much crap i put ppl thru. On the other side, so much i have been through myself. So much i have experienced, so much garbage from ppl i trusted. I feel torn in two. Half of me is trying so hard to just be good and do good. The other half wants to cry until i die. Step 1...breathe until God tells me to stop.
  4. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Todayseems ok. Not great. But ok. Very uncomfortable in the office with little to do and layoff coming on monday. Working on resumes to keep my mind off it. Sending out resumes to every job i am remotely qualified for. I feel as though i have been head messed for the last few years. Creeps me out. Trying tovfocus on building a good life and avoiding negative, hurtful people. Wish i could make some deep friendships that will truly last.
  5. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Hi...yes, it is different for everyone. It can be really scary, especially when it is happening outside of home, doctors office etc...i.e. a place where help is not avail at the moment or you dont feel in control of the environment etc...just have to breathe until it passes. Tai chi and walking helps me but everyone is different and needs different things.
  6. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Scared, terrified out of my mind. Having a panic attack in a room full of people. But no one knows because i am quiet, and smile and nod. In between work orders, i am sending out resumes on indeed. I have 1 week to find a job. Lay off...ugh. took my medicine and keep flashing back to convo with oldest friend who it appears may be insensitive, etc. I have to keep telling myself its not about me...drowning quietly.
  7. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    This is fantastic news!!! I am really happy for you. Keep doing what you are doing and know you are not alone. I know those panic attacks well. I have them and cant stop them. Its horrible. I dont take anything for them anymore and most of the time i feel like i am dying. The worst was when my dad died before we could renew relationship. I totally get it. I am so happy you are still at work and doing great.
  8. StoicLady

    When You Feel Like A Failure

    I must be getting better at discerning stuff because tonight i came here to find just this topic. I have a very successful friend and everytime i talk to her i end up with panic and anxiety attacks. I dont think she intends harm but she causes damage to me nonetheless. I love her dearly and want to keep tge friendship. But her tone of voice, back handed comments, and other things leave me feeling horrible. I am in counseling and will talk to my counselor about it. Tonight it was a recap of how successful and happy she is. Which is truly wonderful. But she also knows I was laid off this week and in desperate need of a job. Nonetheless her summation was, " we rise to the level of our competence." I am hurt by her dismissal of me as a human being and as a professional. In the past she has referred to me as "just a worker bee." I have tried to talk to her about it in the past and have been told she didnt mean it, etc. Maybe she didnt. But ya know what??? Maybe she did and does. Looking back this has been happening for a long time. I am hurt. I am not a jealous or envious person. She is very different from me...she is a financial executive for the state. I am trying to finish a degree in education so I can teach. I write and do lots of creative things. I just self published a book of poetry. But when i talk to her i am usually hurt. I find this horrible and hurtful. So i came here to be with you and seek some comfort, maybe some validation, i dont know. But yes, it feels better knowing i am not alone. Thank you for being here. Ps. We are both in our 50s. You guys have plenty of time for your dreams believe me. I know you are feeling bad but here i am much older than you and struggling also. Please be encouraged that you are young, not alone, and have many blessings to count even when it hurts. I am here for you too. ❤
  9. StoicLady

    "Independence" Day

    Thank you so much. The site wouldnt let me like your post. Thank you ALL in fact. Im grateful to be here.
  10. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    I get it. No longer taking it, but i know the feeling. I could probably use one today. I get it.
  11. StoicLady

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    A little relieved after reading some of these posts. It's proof i'm not alone. I ate something and feel little better. Earlier I was almost jumping out of skin from the anxiety. Being alone, and feeling isolated is constant and so that's not new. But feeling rejected, that's another story that constantly plagues me.
  12. StoicLady

    "Independence" Day

    This is my first post, and I'm typing blindly through tears, because all of you sound like the thoughts in my own head. I'm a mess. I'm in counseling now,a nd very grateful for it. I hate July 4 because the noise bothers me (i mean, it really, really affects me) and it reminds of happy times, which I rarely have anymore. My relationship with all family is strained to almost non-existent. My father died in Jan. and I was notified by a letter from my mom. My daughter is grown and no longer keeps in touch. Friends of many years have been distant and I am trying to develop new ones. To top everything off, a job that I had really high hopes for laid me off on MOnday. I have to find another job within 2 weeks or I am in deep. I do have an interview lined up. Yes, it's one day at a time. It's also one blow at a time. I came here, to sign up for the long haul - maybe I can make a new friend. I'm trying to find things to be grateful for and it's just really hard knowing that I am alone right now at a time when family and friends normally gather. I'm depressed, anxious, and trying to hold it together. In short, I relate to all of you.
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