Stand_alone

I have developed trust issues online

It’s true, we all want attention. To many of us this is a source of help when we can’t find any in real life. I am in my 30s and trying to make real friends. I still deal every day the best i can with my depression and anxiety.

Today I am doing ok. I had my class and I get 3 days off next week. I think I want to spend some days to myself.

I wont be sleeping for a while. I reserved all the travel necessities for my trip next month. I’m am very anxious my supervisor did not approve the days I have requested off. I got an e-mail that I am starting training and the last day of training is the day i request to have pto. I’m worried i may have wasted money.

I wish I can do that but there is a time average to meet on calls and a random in-call testing, which will deduct pts for dead time.

Back to work after my 2 days off. I hope to not get another nervous break down that is becoming more daily. I decided not to take crap from clients anymore and will drop them from calls if they become obnoxious and rude.

Today at work I had a nervous breakdown. I wanted to walk out of work. I feel so stressed trying to reach the time quota. Right now I feel pissed of that someone at home took my shoe polish. People keepp saying I am nice but i feel ppl take advantage of that as someone to step on

I got a share on fb and decided to donate at the gofundme site for behavior violence research.

I’m hoping i can get timed off approved. Today I learned, If you are paying attention to news, the father whose kid died in the Sandy Hook shooting , commited suicide. I knew him from training with him in Kung fu. It’s very sad and shocking someone you remembered as nice and smiling is gone.

Every day is a constant battle of tug of war trying keep positive and becoming depressed. I wish I can always be happy.

I feel broken and de- moralized

I hope i get no anxieties, which I think I will. The best I can do is try my best, and don’t panic at work. And try to block out the co-workers daily bragging.

I am on my day off. Try to relax and learn few things to get help w/ work. I started playing new game.

I have too much up and downs. At the end of work yesterday. I didnot make progress in my work speed. They will evaluate me in 2 weeks again. I feel at a low. I fear they will fire me. I improved in other areas. It sucks I have a co worker who likes to brag a lot how well she is doing. I have a notion that if I will keep gettimg depressed and stress I will end up dead from a stroke.

I got a positive progression report at work. Been working ther since Jan.