Deep_joy

I admire your I can imagine how hard it feels. I have found that if we can be able to talk honestly and openly, we all could have a real human life. It is indeed an act of being strong, what you have written above. I hope you will find people to whom you need not hide.

How do you feel after talking to the doctor?

Physical activity is part of our nature. And when we will deviate from natural we will have issues. Walking is perfectly ok, as sober4life mentioned, please do any form of physical activity that you enjoy. That will have lasting impact compare to the one we do otherwise. Here is a link to many scholarly papers on effect of physical activity on mental health:

Hi and wonderful good morning from India. Just wanted to ask, how are you doing?

Hi and wonderful good morning from India. Thank you for reply. It could be related to your present mental states. And once you will find a new therapist, you will feel way more confident, I believe and hope. And if you want to have talk, please feel free. I will be happy to listen. --------------------- I once read an excerpt that helped me immensely: "The best thing for disturbances of the spirit is to learn. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love and lose your moneys to a monster, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then--to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the poor mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting." - T.H. White, The Sword in the Stone (The Once and Future King, #1)

You are going through pain. When a person is thinking of taking away own life, so much pain inside. But the stress/anxiety that is driving your thoughts, you can overcome/train. We here, all will hope (that is the best thing I have realized, that makes us stay/do) that you will find your inner compass.

It is a form of hallucination - better known as auditory hallucination. It could be due to physical as well as mental. It is said that 1 out 10 of us experience this during life time. It could have any reason of the following: Trauma, Stress, Lack of sleep etc. Please visit your GP if you’re hearing voices. He/she will usually check for any physical reasons you could be hearing voices before diagnosing you with a mental health condition or referring you to a psychologist/psychiatrist. May I ask you what's it like to hear voices? Such as: How often do you hear them? what they sound like? What they say? Is the sound familiar or unfamiliar? Are the voices upsetting, distressing or positive?

The pain you are carrying is a lot, and I wouldn't even want it to haapen to my worst enemy. But before the final, I would like to see you travel to India.

I can imagine the pain you are going through. I experience this time to time. Until few months ago, I wouldn't be able to handle it properly, but then obe day, I read following quote: The best thing for disturbances of the spirit is to learn. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love and lose your moneys to a monster, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then--to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the poor mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. T.H. White, The Sword in the Stone (The Once and Future King, #1) And I have found learning can reduce the loneliness/mental issues (for me for sure). And helping other makes it even better. I hope you will find well deserved mental peace. It's within you. And I'm always open for listening.

It will be hard if we will not forgive ourselves. We will not be able to move forward. A choice was made and it didn't work out as expected. Instead of being judgemental, I would forgive myself. And if she wouldn't be interested to talk anymore, I wouldn't pursue. Because, that was her choice. I would be still open for the possibilities in future, but without any force, keeping myself open to help whenever needed. I hope you will find peace and balance that once you had.

Any loss of a dear one is hard. We create such bonding to our close ones that give us pain when they leave us permanently. Please accept the loss and talk to someone whom you like to share. The grievance process takes time, and during that time, think about the good memories, cherish the bond. Acceptance will lead you to be free from further agony. And you will see that you will feel way better. Also crying is very much ok. Please do it in a safe place. I hope you will feel better in time.

I do not work for salary anymore. And that allows me to see things differently, to listen people (I work as a college teacher which enables me to gain much more insight about human behaviors). And I have seen that among broken glasses there are diamonds.

Wonderful good morning from India. I admire your mindset when you're saying "...I do what I have to do today but get into comfortable clothes...". Based on experiences, what you've said is a hard task. And yet you achieve this perhaps everyday. May be it is normal task for you, but not many are out there who could do this. I hope you will have a good night sleep.

May I ask you, if you wouldn't mind, how do you spend your daily life normally? You may disagree, but none of us know this world completely, it's impossible atleast. So many problems, yet so many good things; so many dark sides, yet a single ray of goodness enlightens the darkest alley. Feel free to reach out, I would be happy to listen.

The more we fight/resist our inner calling, the more we suffer. At one side, it is really good that you understood your inner call to get back to therapy. But thinking that to do so means you're weak, is a pure injustice to the need that your body and mind are asking for. Please think this way, will you not give food to your body when your body asks for it? You have got courage, because you have admitted the need for therapy. Many would try to hide. Now must you act with your courage.