Everything posted by Zarztok
Zarztok replied to Zarztok's topic in **A Special Forum to Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!!**Im thankful for the replies i appreciate it. I don't know what to say really except i feel better now. It was interesting to read your comments.
Zarztok posted a topic in **A Special Forum to Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!!**Since i turned 18 i have sought for help with my depression but three years later im still at the same place. Time goes fast and im 21 now already. Getting help has been lots of paperwork. It has taken a large toll on me. I keep being told that this is not how it's suppose to be. That i should get help and support. All lies and empty promises. When i try to take a step forward i get back to sqaure one. Nothing ever changes and im just waiting for something. There's one thing that is different and that is a puppy i got talked into getting. I felt that it wasn't the right time. Many times i think to myself fine with friends and such. Even though i have no energy to spend time with them. However i love my puppy we come a long way the first month i had her. I got no complaints on her wonderful puppy but it pains my heart when i lost lots of energy trying to deal with problems that siphons energy. I try my very best to train her and care for her but it ends up feeling like a chore. Also i have done less training i don't leave her alone. Just less of what's fun for her and i don't want her to be bored and sad. I live for other people because they like having me around and my puppy. I want to commit suicide in the future i had no life lust for years. Trying my best to hold out but it doesn't matter. No help or support. Yeah they do care if you try commiting suicide give you little help and then nothing more as they want me to suffer. I do hope my puppy would be well taken care of when im gone. I talked about it being a mistake but i can't get rid of her so im stuck with her. Sorry for wall of text it's a mess just wanted to talk out.