Weathered

I used to suffer with panic attacks until I learned how to deal with them. When you panic, you hyperventilate and breath out too much Carbon Dioxide. This is what you makes you feel 'weird' and it can be very painful. In order to relieve the symptoms, you need to do one of two things:- 1) Breath into a brown paper bag - this increases the Carbon Dioxide in your system and reduces the strange feelings. 2) Repeat a simple nursery rhyme in your head - your brain can only cope with so many things at once. Doing this stops you worrying about panicking, and stops you hyperventilating almost immediately. In addition to the above, the most important thing you need to do is stop fearing panic attacks, they can't hurt you! The worst thing that can happen is that you pass out or make yourself feel daft in front of people. What you will come to realise is that people are very sympathetic to panic attack sufferers and in addition, they are more common than we realise. Once you stop fearing them, I guarantee that they will go away. I haven't had one for three years, simply because I don't care if I do have another one.

I count to 7. It's boring, but i'm used to it.

But I miss you all, the real people of this world. I am going through absolute hell at the moment, in the last four months I have tried to end it four times, split up from my wife but fortunately we are now together again. I don't know where to begin with what has happened, it has all been so dreadful and is not yet over. Just wanted to say 'hi', that's all. :)

I point blank, absolutely, stoically, refuse to be afraid of panic attacks. They hold no fear at all for me. What is the worst that could happen? Somebody finds out I have problems and that i'm human? Big deal. They can't hurt you. Yes, they make you feel bad but that's all. If you've had one panic attack and survived it, you'll survive another. Stop being afraid of them, and they will go away. Mine have.

I used to have panics attacks, but I don't get them anymore because I am not afraid.

I don't think your 'labels' are really helping in this situation. You get irritated and snappy because you are angry. OCD is part of the anxiety and depression process. Having OCD doesn't necessarily mean depression etc but they are closely linked.

Not easy but stop being afraid of both the feelings, and what other people think of you in that situation. If you can manage that, the fear will go away.

Yes you can recover. I did :)

My latest therapist referred me to a forensic psychologist because of my complicated history (sexual abuse as a young child and drug addiction in my early 20's). The purpose of this was to establish several things; my state of mind, risk of self harm, actual condition and best course of treatment. The psychologist has stated that I am not 'irreparably damaged', that I do not have a personality disorder and that the prognosis is good. I feel that finally after all these years I am getting somewhere because I have the 'right kind' of help aka people that not only understand you but actually give a ****. Happy days

Thanks Slim. I think i've found the right therapist. She is very experienced and to start with wants me to see a forensic psychologist to advise on the best way forward given my complicated history. She then intends a multi-disciplined approach including individual therapy, meds, EMDR and group therapy. I feel like I am on track so understandably I am fighting myself harder than ever.

I have contacted them. Appointment on Monday. Here goes...

He can't help me, he is not experienced enough. Surprise However, unlike the last one, he gave me the details of someone who is a specialist in my condition and even had the courtesy to talk to them to explain my condition. A genuinely good person I feel. I haven't spoken to the new therapist yet, bit nervous tbh but I appreciate the help he gave me