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Everything posted by cbgrace1980

  1. I am so sorry you are having such a rough time. It sounds like the other people in your life are not causing your depression, but perhaps something you don't understand. That could be something that affected you a long time ago that you haven't thought about, or even you could have been born this way. Have you been able to talk to a counselor about depression? I have been in your shoes and when I found a counselor that I trusted to listen to me and help me, things improved dramatically. We talked about my life experiences and figured through some issues that were making me project my depression into all my relationships. Hang in there, things will get better!
  2. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it must be hard remaining friends with someone you want to be with. I think your head will tell you what the right thing to do is: if you can be patient in just being a friend, then you can continue to do that. But if you want something else, it sounds like it might be okay for you to pursue that as well. I'm not sure you could do the wrong thing here since y'all have been apart so long. Hope this helps.
  3. Friend, I don't know you but I hear your story. I am sorry that you are sad and feel like giving up. Please don't! Does your fiance know you are feeling so very low? Have you ever talked with a doctor or counselor about feeling so down? Thank you for sharing your true feelings here. I know when I've struggled with depression I had to MAKE myself talk to my counselor but my counselor helped me see so many things about my life that I didn't see before. I know you may be hesitant about talking with someone but you talked to us, which I am very thankful for. Things will get better.
  4. I am so, so sorry you are going through this tough time. I also had antenatal depression which turned into postpartum. I didn't even know what depression was before my husband and I became pregnant with our child. My doctor was able to point it out to me, thankfully. She was able to help me through and taught me about what we could do to make the depression lessen. After the postpartum period, I learned that I had a genetic predisposition to depression (family history) and I went to a wonderful counselor who helped me tremendously. I am so thankful I was in counseling because it was at that point my husband wanted to be with another woman. He left and I was home alone with a newborn. Definitely the hardest time in my life. I'm not sure you can "get help" and "recognize the signs" until a doctor talks with you about it, so please don't put the blame on yourself for that. Everything is not your fault. Most times people don't want to face "mental health" because there is such a negative stigma associated with it. People think it means you are crazy and can't function. That is absolutely not true. I'm so glad that you finally understand what you were facing and things will improve from here. Do you have a trusted doctor or counselor that you can talk to? I fully believe in marriage and I was willing to help my spouse stay with me, and I was even overcoming depression when he left. My faith kept me strong and it still does. Hang in there!
  5. It sounds like you are truly having some hard times right now in your life. I'm also a mom and understand how sometimes the monotony of everyday life can be less-than-exciting. From what I can tell you are a great mom that is very dedicated to your children, and that is awesome! Kids definitely benefit from daily routines, even when we adults tire from the effort that can go into the details. Keep up the good work! I am so sorry to hear about the distance between you, your mother and your siblings. That must cause a great deal of sadness that can carry over into the other areas of your life, like work and social situations. Is there a close friend or coworker that you trust that you can share your feelings with? I know that I get very busy with work, kids, other people's expectations, etc. and when I am able to find time to spend one-on-one with a close friend who lets me vent I feel much better afterwards. It can be hard as a busy mom to find the time but it sounds like you need some relief! I'm not sure about you, but I believe in God and that He has everything in His control. Leaning on Him when I'm going through the monotony of long, hard times has helped me so much. I'm here if you need to vent, too!
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