BeyondWeary

very dark blue

retirement and being poor

Having enough money stored up so I could quit my job and never come back

surviving

I'm not doing that well since my pdoc cut back my med just one week ago because of side effects. I'm wondering if I should give it more time or call her and say I can't do this because I'm more depressed and not sleeping as well.

A good book, chocolate, and coffee

Finally, sunshine after 4 days of rain!

I'd like to be able to buy sanity and peace of mind. I know, I'm dreaming.... Otherwise, I'd like to buy a home cooked meal delivered to my door everyday. I'm probably still dreaming

Playing with my young grandchildren which I get to do tomorrow!

There is also a post under Depression Central called "lose pounds by xmas eve" that are people encouraging one another in exercising and getting in shape. BW

My heart goes out to you. It's amazing that you are dealing with all that and still want to better your life. Can you work with a therapist (maybe even on-line) and/or a psychiatrist that could help you find a good way for your life? Any spirituality/church that can also help? I believe that with the right support you can make it through to a better place. Keep coming back here too and reading and posting. That will also help. You are not alone. BW

I so agree with what has been said. I think you have lost a lot of dreams for your life because of circumstances out of your control. So you have a right to vent and grieve those loses. Yet you have persevered through a lot and that is what counts. BW

Welcome to DF! Glad the you reached out and found us. Hope you keep coming back, reading, and posting. My life has not working out at all like I was hoping yet what helped me was to go through the grieving process with a therapist so that I could let that go and not be stuck in it and unable to see any good in my life. I think sometimes grieving is necessary before we can move on. I believe there can still be a good plan for your life. We will support you through this hard time. You are not alone. BW

Hi Grounded! Our situations seem very similar. Yet I'm pushing 60 and I think having all those symptoms and all these years just hits a breaking point of being too much and I just can't cope as well as I used to. After taking many different generic meds, we finally found one that helps and is the name brand (no generic available yet). It's called Latuda. We are still working on getting the dosage right and I think I may need another med for anxiety as that has also built up over the years. I think of these as progressive illnesses that build up and get worse with time unfortunately. Journaling helps me get all the thoughts out of my head and sort through them. Sometimes I just read those at my appointment to express what is hard to put into words at the moment. Hang in there. You are not alone. BW