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About hawiangirl

  • Birthday 02/14/1970

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    day -dreaming, arty stuff, shopping, watching movies , love spending time with daughter, she is my little angel.

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  1. I hope you have a fantastic day :)

  2. thankyou for your replies, its much appreciated. i think this situation has re-triggered my depression, whereas before i was managing to keep it at bay. I do love this man very much, but i am beginning to wonder if i am going to burn myself out constantly supporting him. i also supported him through 6 months at hospital before this, where he was kept under section. i have not really been treated like a woman should be, but he does promise that when he gets out, life will be different. He says he is getting through the days only because of me. Even if i wanted to have a break or consider leaving him, i could not let him down like this. I would leave him with no-one, and i would also be scared that he might harm himself.
  3. my boyfriend is in prison(drug related), 13 months to go. When he gets out, i dont know what life will be like - he is making a lot of changes, doing education etc and says life will be different when he gets out. i love him a lot, but at the same time feel angry at him. i hve been feeling so low, dont want to talk to anyone or get out of bed. my ads are do nothing to help, i still feel so down. when he gets out i might end up bitter towards him anyway, my life is at a standstill.
  4. I didn't get it - and I can't send any PMs either im not sure why thats happenning, i will re- send the message as soon as i can. x
  5. hi Paul, i sent you a message with lots of useful info, but im not sure if you have recieved it - its not showing in my sent items list. if you havnt recieved it, please let me know, i will re-send it to you. take care for now.
  6. glad you feel a bit better today Chris, take care of yourself . x .
  7. My family used to say it, but eventually i realised that it was lack of understanding. Only people who have been through the depths of depression can truly understand it. My family have seen me go through stages of extreme depression where i wouldnt go out and was scared of noises like the kettle boiling etc. They realise now its much more complicated than just trying to cheer up. Chris your confidence has taken a knock at the moment, be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to get back up again. If you can avoid it, dont rush to do things you are uncomfortable doing at the present time. When i get depressed, i know its my mind telling me i need to chill out a bit, i actually like to withdraw for a bit, and take time to look after myself and i say "----- everything, me first"! look after yourself. xx
  8. Paul, i can promise you, you will be fine if you do go to prison. Unfortunately my boyfriend is in Bullingdon prison for one year. He is coping very well. Everything is based on routine , there are plenty of self help courses, and educational courses available. He is finding that he is re-evaluating himself for the better. I was scared when he went in, that he might get bullied etc, but its nothing like that - its just a case of getting on with things. He found when he went in that inmates were pretty helpful, his room- mate gave him tobacco, and even made noodles for him sometimes. you can choose to work if you want , and earn some cash. Family can send in cash if they wish, and you can buy what you need from the prison shop. There is a library, and in the evenings inmates are allowed to play pool. You can wear your own clothes, and have a tv, playstation etc. People can visit you very often, you just need to post out visiting orders to them. Although it is not like being free, you will get by fine - it is a good chance to build your skills and prepare for a good life when you get out. I have found that my boyfriend is fine, its me that is suffering. I suffer from depression on and off, and have gone a bit downhill since he went in. But i was still quite relieved when i saw that it was not as bad in there as i thought - i think i have watched too many movies! Paul, you will also be assesed mentally and physically - its important that you tell your doctor now about how you feel, and that you be very honest with the prison doctors so that they can help you. if you want any more advise, please feel free to contact me. following up what i said earlier - i feel so low today, i miss my boyfriend so much. I keep getting a horrible panicky feeling in my stomach. feel like going to sleep and waking up when he is out.
  9. I am on 15m of Mirtazapine at night, and effexor in the morning. I started the mirtazapine 2 weeks ago, and have had some horrible nightmares. But im a bit confused this morning - my daughter slept next to me last night, and i woke up after she said the word "curse", i looked around the room and was scared and went back to sleep. The confusion for me is - was this all a nightmare? Could i have been half conscious, making me wake up in the middle of my nightmare, or was it all a complete nightmare and i didnt wake up at all? I asked my daughter if she had any dreams or recalls saying anything in the night, but she cant remember. For me this is all unpleasant, because i already suffer from anxiety, and have a constant feeling of dread. Any help or reassurance would be appreciated.
  10. Thanks Azncollegegurl21, big hug to you too. Being in hospital was a positive,(though at times disturbing)experience. I found it very helpful to be able to talk to others with simular problems - we even laughed at the fact that every morning almost all of us had the "shaking!" - it was the side effects of the medicines which made our hands shake at breakfast time, and it was a job to keep our tea in the mugs without spilling it! Sometimes though, it was upsetting to hear a patient shouting or screaming - a lady with severe post natal depression, often had to be confined to solitary because of her aggression, but this was so sad to witness. I take one minute at a time, and feel proud when i have got through a day. I have realised through this bout of depression, how low my self esteem is, and how much work i need to do to re-build my life, but i can only take baby steps. ((hope all is well with you, thankyou for caring)).
  11. Hi everyone, i thought id seen the back of my depression after this many years, but its crept back slowly, and i've got it again. I have been in hospital for a week because of terrible panic attacks,and to help me adjust to the ad's. This time i will not stop taking the ad's, my doc says i may need to take them for life - thats fine by me if it helps keep away the big D. Anyway, im still fighting, and singing "i will survive" in my head! Take Care, Hawaingirl.
  12. Hi folks, i thought i'd fill you in on my progression on the EPA fish oils. Its been a month now, and the effects are becoming clearer - i am definitely feeling a lot "lighter" and clearer in mind, i am getting less stressed about things. I generally feel more lifted, and can laugh at things that i normally wouldnt of. Im still having ups and downs, but the downs are getting shorter. There has been a definite improvement, i still have a way to go, and time will tell. The capsules i take are not too large, but i do notice that i have to take them with plenty of water to wash them down -if not, they tend to give off a bit of an unpleasant taste in the mouth. I have also had an occassional stomach upset with them, but its only mild, and is reducing with time. Overall, the result so far is very good, but i will be able to tell even more as time goes by. Take Care! xxx
  13. hi Gentle Sun, hope you are well. The fish oils i take are made up of EPA's only. EPA's are supposed to be best if taken on completely on their own, with no DHA's etc. I am beggining to notice a real difference now, . If you google Dr. Puri, it will give you more info. Take Care
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