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Kay24

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About Kay24

  • Birthday January 12

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    Female
  • Interests
    Anime, Kpop, Listening to any genre of music (except country)

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  1. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety in June 2019 which is pretty severe. I’ve been seeing a therapist and taking sertraline (now I’m thinking it’s helping as much as I thought) so I may change it. Anyway my best friend is suffering from depression. In the past she had no problem replying to me when I messaged her but now that we are older and we both work therefore we have been talking less. It’s to the point where I don’t even get a response from her for 3 days or more. Or I have to message her again to remind her of something then I usually get a response. Or I’ll see she online tweeting but she doesn’t respond to me which upsets me. Because of my anxiety I always think I’m bothering her or she’s annoyed by me. I get upset because I don’t hear from her. Even when I check on her I sometimes don’t hear from her then I get really anxious. She has told me multiple times I’m not bothering her and she has told me there are times where she doesn’t have the energy to type a response or hold a conversation. I understand that but sometimes I really wish she would just tell me she doesn’t feel like talking. I know her job is very stressful for her(child social worker) and I feel as if she is unhappy with her job. I know it’ll take time but sometimes I wonder if her therapy sessions are even helping her. I’ve discussed this with my therapist as well and my friend and we still travel out of town together for concerts but I feel like that is only time ever see each other. We only live 15 minutes away from one another. I really do not know how to deal not speaking with her. I’ve told my friend I always miss her and one time when I told her I felt lonely and I really miss her, she posted on social media (on a different account she didn’t know I knew about at the time) that she didn’t know what people wanted from her and that she was tried of being guilt tripped into doing things she did not feel like doing because of being mentally exhausted from her job. I only wanted to share with how I felt with the understanding I knew she would not be up to hanging out when she is tired. My intentions were not to guilt trip her at all. I didn’t mean to burden her. I regretted even saying anything but I thought it was best to share instead of keeping it to myself. I really love and care about my friend but it just hurts to know where our friendship stands sometimes. She always thinks she’s a bad friend for not socializing with me but I don’t think that. I wish she could do a little better at talking to me but sometimes I feel as if she shuts me out. I don’t know how to deal with this.
  2. Thank you all so much for the advice and the comments. I just felt so down about it but you all have been very kind. I know it will take some time with her to actually love herself. It’s just hard because sometimes I never know what to say or if should say anything at all. BeyondWeary- Yes I will look for the book and trake a look at it. 20YearsAndCounting-Thank you for the advice and attaching that link. I will look at as well. Once again!Thank you all so much.
  3. My friend always calls herself ugly. No matter how many times I say she’s not she thinks she is. I understand I can’t change her mind of what she thinks of herself but it hurts to know that she thinks of herself in this way. She suffers from depression and she has told me she has low self esteem. Well the reason I am posting here is because I recently saw her post an answer to a curiouscat question from someone and she responded “I’ve never had a date. I’m too ugly”. What I did was send her a message through curious cat anonymously telling her she has always been beautiful. These were my exact words: “I was gonna keep quiet but not this time. You are beautiful! Always have been always will be. The only thing that can be ugly about a person is their heart. Never put yourself down. I know it’s easier said then done but alot of people always put themselves down. We are our harshest critic. I know you weren’t looking for a compliment but in reality we see “flaws” on ourselves that others don’t see. I hope one day we will all learn to appreciate and love ourselves. Society has truly corrupted our minds on how they think everyone should look especially in the media. God made us the way we are. We just have to learn to own our looks and not let our looks own us. I pray one day we’ll truly learn to appreciate and love ourselves.” When she responded to it and she took it as an encouraging message and that she too hopes to love everything about herself every though it’s a tough journey. I’m sure she doesn’t know it was me. I was gonna tell her in direct message saying I saw it but I feel that if I did that she would just think I’m just being nice since I’m her friend and would not be comfortable posting certain stuff I would see and thinks she needs to be quiet. I feel like I should not have done this. I know I can’t fix everything and that it’ll take her some time to one day love herself. I just didn’t want to ignore it like I have ignored other things she has said in the past because I’m afraid of saying something stupid. I love her too much. Was this wrong of me? Did I possibly make the situation worst?
  4. I don’t know if I’m posting this in the right place but this is really long but I have to explain all that happened. My best friend has depression and I only found out from her a few months ago. I found out by her not telling me upfront but an account she has online. I knew something was off when she suddenly stopped posting online so much earlier this year. There was a post she made but when I responded she quickly deleted it. For a while I thought maybe she’ll tell me when she’s ready but she never did. So I began to worry. I honestly still feel really crappy about this to this very day but I went looking for another account she made. I kept asking myself should I leave it be til she tells me but in all honesty I needed to know what was going on. You’re probably thinking “You should have asked her directly.” Yes I should have but I was afraid how she would react. Once I found her new account I saw all what she posted and I knew it was her from the emojis and previous username she made. Anyway once I read her posts I suddenly got scared for her thinking of the worse what could happen. The reason for that is because of an incident that occurred in December 2017. Shinee member Jonghyun took his own life and I honestly got so upset about what if the same could happen to her. I even saw her made a comment on her main account about the letter Jonghyun wrote hit close too home but I never said anything because I didn’t know what to say or to wait til she approached me with what’s was going on with her. Anyway In February, I confronted my friend about me finding her new account and I thought she would be furious with me but she wasn’t. I was the one crying because I knew what I did was wrong and I was so afraid and worried her that my thought weren’t coming together like I wanted it too. I knew she kept it from me because she didn’t want me to worry. That day she told me she has had depression since she was young but never got help for it til now. I even told her she could block me from the new account and post whatever since it was her place of privacy since I knew but she told me she wouldn’t and I didn’t understand why. I haven’t talked to her about her depression since that day. From time to time I look at it to see what she posts and I shouldn’t since I absolutely have no right to do so but she never blocked me. She started seeing a counselor this year and I may have to give her time if she wants to talk to me about anything. I’ve constantly told her she could talk to me anytime about anything and I would listen. Even though she has told me she still trust me I still feel like I’ve lost her trust. I constantly worry for her and I’m afraid of losing her because she always says online she would rather die. Before I even found out about my friend’s depression I’ve been unhappy with myself and life in general since the beginning of last year but I can’t diagnose myself unless I seek help. I’ve shared it with her but now I don’t want to burden her with anything. I keep telling myself maybe things will get better but it hasn’t. I know I can be there for my friend and support her but in all honesty I don’t know how to talk to her about her depression. She trys to talk to her family about it but I don’t think they are very supportive and she thinks she overreacting when she talks about stuff that bothers her. I don’t want her to feel she has no one to talk to because she has me to vent to. That’s what she has recently said online. Should I bring it up sometimes to see how she is? I always try to spend time with her but sometimes I feel like I bothered her too much. She has told me I never bother or annoy her but I don’t how true that is. I just need help in how I should talk to her about it. She’s not not just my friend of 7 years but she’s one of the most important people in my life. I love her so much and seeing her so broken breaks my heart and I feel helpless because there’s nothing I can do but be there for her. Any suggestions on what I could do better for her because I am an awful friend.
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