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Keeponfightin

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About Keeponfightin

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  1. Yea I get lost in mind with deep questions all the time the fact that we exist is mind blowing to me no explanation weather scientific or religious makes any logical sense science will say they can trace it back to particles but where did they come from and the notion that things just create its self is a bit unlogical we would all seem crazy if we started telling everyone that houses cars smartphones all just made themselves and have built in programmed functions that work almost flawlessly yet science wants us to take that explanation. The there’s the religious route to it that offers a lot of confusesion and countless theory’s. Then i usually think about government what it’s like now how it controls our behavior how would we be towards one another if no government consequences existed would people e savages would they have morals the list goes on and on I think deep I say dream deep I anyway out of the body feels good that’s why I like meditation and other like that anyways peace.
  2. Everything you wrote is the truth and I’m sure a lot of us get it. What’s the point in waking up to suffer each day in a never ending cycle of mental anguish. Your completely logical and yes it is your god given right and it’s only natural to seek relief if you break a bone you rush to the hospital but what if you have a condition like you do and that we all do that can’t be treated properly then it’s only normal for us humans to seek relief in the only way it can truly be ended but deep down we obviously don’t want to die we just don’t want to suffer keep on fighting though because your life has value even though it’s rough as hell to be alive you never know a break through of relief could be hours days or months away. We all have the thoughts and feeling you do just no that we’re sufering with you were a brotherhood/sisterhood of unstable minds in pain that alone coming together can bring strength and small amounts of relief just knowing we’re all in this together even if we’ve never met or don’t know each other. As for societal expectations that you brought up **** society they constantly tell us that you need to be rich famous successful the best at your craft and you’ll be happy or labeled as a somebody. All that is BS 99 percent of us are just average joes and there’s nothing wrong with that but unfortunately we all feel that constant pressure but it’s not realistic for the majority of us. I fell into that trap trying to be the best trying to make lots of cash and i did I traveled to a bunch of country’s I had three girlfriends at once wasn’t the best in the world at my craft but was fairly decent I chased crazy adrenaline rushes many which weren’t legal activities and it never made me happy. Being rich successful or what ever it is they say you need to be doesn’t matter no one is above me or less then me we all bleed when cut and we all will return to the grave one day so for all the people who think they are a somebody because of what they do or what they have are fools living in a marketed illusion. Anyways I don’t have any solutions if I did I wouldn’t be here but just keep on fighting and take comfort in the fact that we’re sufferinf an fighting this illness/disorder right with you brother/sister.
  3. Sophys response is pretty good
  4. Yes quit your job on the quick don’t do anything you don’t like or don’t want to do. Quit like a boss to go to work and start bashing up the phones then go to your boss and tell him there’s something wrong with the connection and that he needs to get his together.
  5. I’ve had depression and anxiety for the past 10 years it use to be to the point where I couldn’t perform basic functions like eating showering sleeping or being able to leave the house because I would have a huge panic attack. The crazy thing is my depression and anxiety started a year after I left the gang/criminal life even though I was a complete head spending years on probation and doing a year in jails/prisons I never had a depression or anxiety problem I think because it always gave me something to do somewhere to go something to worry about constant adrenaline rushes and a social life where i was always surrounded by people 24/7. Geting sick and tired of being in trouble with law I decided to leave and a year after a new demon depression/anxiety ruined my life and still haunts me. I’m now on pills and things have gotten a lot better I have finally gotten all my basic functions back but there’s still a emptiness inside of me that I think will never go away I’ve tried everything to fill this void inside my self I’ve joined countless activities/programs I’ve tried ****ing chicks lol I spent a few years doing the Christian thing ive traveled to different country’s I’ve made good junks of money I focus my attention on my relationship with my girlfriend and my children and yet I still feel the sadness lingering nothing works. everyday I have a thought or 20 about chickening my self it’s not like I’m writing a note and preparing a rope it’s more of wow that would be nice to just end it kind of thing. Suicide is one of the top ten causes of death in the us your more likely to **** your self then be killed by someone else. It makes me wonder how are we all not trying to get out quickly most of us just go to work and run over the same old ground year after year doing he same thing. To me it’s insanity maybe we’re not the crazy ones as i get older my life is just a basket of responsibilities and each year that basket gets bigger and bigger and I feel like the way we have structured our society creates isolation and cuts off true social interactions because we simply don’t have time for it even when I travel or I go to my classes I’m around people but there’s not really any meaningful connection. Idk I feel like a normal life is just to hard for me sometimes it’s to repeatitive and boring. Lots of people wish for a family a good paying job to me it’s like is this it. I don’t know why I wrote this it’s just a rant really with a wild direction and no true purpose but it’s my first day on the forum so I guess this a hello from another unstable mind.
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