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mmd

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About mmd

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 04/21/1992

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Argentina, Mendoza

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  1. Sorry to hear Charlee. I feel like the way you say, just pure and only depressed, every day, every day the same, a constant boredom everyday, with no one to talk, and not much to do, watching the outside from my window, just going out to buy things or do small things, but no joy. I try to feel joy with simple things, but nothing reaaally worthles. I feel like an empty shell. I just do things to dont feel the void. I trick myself to feel things are ok, but its just empty. Today is friday and im just going to stay at home, because i dont have any other thing to do. Its just wait, until sleep, and wait for another day to do the same. I still dont loose the hope, and i keep tricking myself to feel ok, but my reality is so so far from how I wish my life was. Im all days tired, and every thing requires a big amount of energy and I end up exhausted.
  2. So so, depends, long time i dont listen classical so cant remember if i enjoy it or not ! I used to like so pieces but i cant remember the composers. I enjoyed the Satie things, but i should re listen them, always im saying im gonna do it but its so time consuming get again into classical music, its so much to look at.
  3. No, i dont have that problem with disonant music, and im not a fan of disonant music at all, i like the idea to put disonant chords, but... i dont like those tunes that just use disonant chord, its like "ok, i just got the idea, its disonant, now give me something different", its too repetitive for me, every tune sounds like the same, and i hate when they make the intros sooooo long, they want to create tension and intrigue, and to me is just "introductory noise". In classical or academic music lately i dont listen much, i got bored about it, but the last good thing i found is "Bach - Chaconne, Partita No. 2 BWV 1004", played by Hilary Hahn and Tomaso Antonio Vitali - Chanonne. Years ago i went to listen "Pictures of an exhibition" of Mussorgsky, was great, and music of Shostakovich too, was also great.
  4. So bad you cant play the piano ! Yes, me too, i just improvise, I used to like the idea about make compositions, but now just cant think about make a piece and play it like that over and over. Dont know about J Rodrigo, gonna search it. Since a ver long time that I cant find much music to enjoy, dont know if this happens to you, but to me I want to listen certain kind of music that, certain sounds, certain notes, etc, that its hard to listen music of other people, i want lately i just enjoy music of a band that i play 3 records over and over, and just that, or i listen other music but just to check it, sometimes listen music tires me really quickly. And going back to the topic, be alone just drives me insane, life dont have a point to me, this used to k*ll me years ago, now i get used, but anyway, a day without talk with someone its a day lost to me, be alone, i just dont enjoy things this way. Have a good 2020 Epictetus.
  5. @Epictetus No, i dont compose, I play what comes to my mind, just noodle, but I dont make compositions from start to end. I have things I always play, and i change or keep twisting, but just like comes to my mind. Do you have compositions Epictetus ? And anyway, Im talking about a deeper boredom, not the boredom of want to do little things, I enjoy watch a football match, etc, but dont have any other to talk to in real, really stress me, the other day i was just craving to go outside, talk a walk or go to other place, but do that alone is pointless, I used to do it in the pass but its really pointless, go to other place, smoke 6 cigarettes one next to the other, stare, and then what ? nothing, that is just too depressing to do, its so weird to do it, go to a place, do nothing, and then comeback, watching other people, knowing they have friends, they have someone to talk to, and theres me, just going to a place to another, just alone.
  6. I have years without go out. I just woke up right now and... theres nothing much to do, just felt the voidness of stare blankly. No one to talk during the day, just see how the day goes away, knowing its going to be the same for the next one.
  7. Went to my grandmotherĀ“s house, she broke her leg 7 months ago, had a surgery and have been without walk since then, since a while ago she is having memory issues, cant hold her thoughts, get lost, sometimes make up things, and she cant focus (slightly delusional). Then slept for a while, and nothing much since then.
  8. Hi, I joined to the forums some time ago looking to meet other people who also dont have any other to talk to. Currently and since a long while ago I dont have any other person to talk with. Its pretty stressing dont have any other person to share something or just have some conversation. Is there any other here who also dont have any other to talk to ? Im 27 old from Argentina.
  9. Well... some environments are like that. You are going to have to get used. If they are saying right things I think you should take them as a learning. Sorry if Im a bit cold on that, maybe is how I personally would react to this, like "ok, im doing the things wrong, going to learn this things and make them good next time". Try to dont get affected for what the boss says, maybe a "yes, boss" could be a good answer if you make something wrong. Construction is like that. Could be a good experience. Doesnt matter if you like the job or not, you said, its a job, see how is the thing, and then try to make it good. Good luck.
  10. Write in forums like this help to relief a bit, its good. Dont say sorry, for this thing are this forums, just write down what you thinking, and about what you are tired of. And good luck with all, its "ok" if you are feeling down, you have the right to feel bad if you are not in a good mood.
  11. I dont, and ive been with this since long. I get used. Ive been joining to forums looking for other people with the same problem who want to chat, but i havent met any. Any joined for the same ? (asking to people over 26 old)
  12. Some, but not as I would like. I think is a good thing, but for me just stays at a middle of the road. My idea when I started joining to forums about depression was to meet other people who have depression, and conect, but I find forums (in general) very shallow, in the sense that sometimes is just read a message from someone, maybe reply and then dont have much of a feedback, to me this is more just read and reply rather than have a conversation, its like make a crossword, a thing to pass the time (which sometimes is good), not really a network, but I think this is what the idea of the forum is, but I would preffer something more like a network.
  13. As other times, no one to talk with, and the only here, silence. I went to visit my mother with my sister and niece who are of visit, they went to do other things and now i have some time alone, i check some internet sites that i check daily, i checked the news, the mails, and then... just silence, nothing to do, no one to talk with, just nothing, just wait. Any other over 26 old who also joined to the forum because lonelines ?
  14. Any other here who doesnt have any other people to talk to ?
  15. Hi Heather, are you talking with me ? If yes. Dont know, i just replied you based on what i understand you was saying, i could be wrong, but i didnt want to send you a bad j*rky message. It was a message to try to help a person from who the knowledge i have its just 1 parragraf (you). But i understand, im sure you should cross with jerks over internet and you could think im one of those, as i was thinking theres a lot of people in depression groups that i see they get bother and say "depression" in such a lightly way, i thought you could be one, so i wrote a generic post.
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