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Posts posted by TotallyBatty

  1. On 20 November 2019 at 8:46 AM, Liesel said:

    Hi, TB, as I read this my heart sank for you. Oh I know the feeling all too well 😞 One of my major COs died November of 2017 and he was just 67. I still feel helpless over it. I know people we know in real life might not understand how much it can affect us but I certically understand and I’m sure many in this forum do too. You’re not alone. The comfort I take is in listening to his music and watching the shows he was in and letting him continue to live on through the entertainment he created for the world. That will always be here. In a sad way I’m glad I didn’t know him personally else I’d be utterly wrecked but my heart still hurts seeing the pain he went through towards the end of his life and knowing his life story. Ugh the struggle of being an extreme empath... But I really hope you continue to take comfort in the dreams if they continue. 

    Thank you for your support, Liesel. It's heartbreaking. At the time my OH wondered why I was being so tearful and snappy..well, I couldn't tell him he'd think I was crazy. I watch the guys movies every night and try to still imagine him here, young, handsome, and healthy as he was in the 80s. Do you dream of your CO at all? It does offer comfort, but it often doesn't happen and I wake feeling sad. It is sure nice to see him in my dreams. 

    67 is young to go these days, I am finding too many of our heroes are dying young. My online friend loved Eddie Money in her young days and she was so sad when he died this year too, but sad in a fan way, she wasn't crying non stop like me and that's why I feel so silly..

    I've had crushes on passed-away musicians before. Only last year I felt myself falling for the late Benjamin Orr of the Cars fame. He'd been dead years by that point and yes I was sad as heck but it's not the same as when you love a CO and they're still alive but then they pass suddenly. Being an empath is very hard. I'm one as well to a degree, you feel every pain and cry for that pain.

    anyhow, I'm going to go now. Thanks again for your reply and I'll pop in now and then to say hi. 



  2. Hello all

    its me TotallyBatty...I'm sorry I've not been on here for a while well, life got in the way and well I might as well just let you all know that my CO died in July of this year and I've been devastated ever since. I've not stopped crying tbh it hit me like a Mach truck and I've just been reeling. I remember the day I found out he'd died I was reading the paper and I saw a small article on him thinking Yay he's doing some more acting and I looked again and it said in bold "(CO Name) dies aged 75" well I literally went dizzy and dropped the paper and ran away shaking. Mum wondered if I'd been suddenly ill or under the weather but I'm a chicken and can't tell her! 

    I am guessing you may now know who my crush was but tbh I am not too bothered who knows. He's gone now so he won't see it. 😭😭

    i had a dream about him a few nights ago in the dream I was talking to him but in spirit, it brought me some comfort, even though I'm not sure about the afterlife, or such. I'll go for now, but I just thought I'd share my sadness with others who loved or love someone famous.


    take care..



  3. On 29 April 2018 at 11:56 PM, nosleep said:

    Funny, I have the same feeling about my CO. He's a big guy, 6'3 and kind of chubby, too. Has a big beard these days. There's just something so big and gruff and comforting about him. Like a giant, wonderful teddy bear. I'm only 5 feet fall and the thought of just being wrapped up in his arms and snuggling up next to him just makes me so happy.  Not much else makes me happy these days so I cling to my fantasies because without them, I'd be left with just...emptiness, and I can't handle that. 

    I started to tell my therapist about him, but chickened out at the last minute. I can see she's already concerned for me and I don't want to give her anything that might think I'm in danger of becoming a crazed stalker or anything like that. 

    I appreciate everyone's advice and tips on how to avoid fixating on their CO.  I'm not quite strong enough to try that yet, but I hope to get there soon. Right now, I feel like if I don't check his twitter and his youtube channel or soundcloud at least once or twice a day, I'll miss something more important than anything that's happening in my own, actual, real life. 

    Sorry to be such a downer!  It hasn't been a very good day for me. 

    Aww, he sounds real sweet, I wonder if it's the same guy, lol, as my crush dude gets called "bear" a lot by his fans! My guy crush has a really gruff voice and I find it so sexy and manly. 😍

    The emptiness can be horrible, and reality such a vacant space, you know, I'm sick of my mind telling me to get a grip on reality when reality can be such a drab, boring place...I write poems myself, just to escape it all...I wrote a poem about him, about his movie...@ BlueStarr haha no, it's not quite a vampire movie, in which I fancy him, but he was in a vampire movie when he got old (older) and he looked so weird in it ☺️ It's a horror thriller movie from the eighties..

     I am youngish, but I find guys today (celebs and non) to be such a turn off! I can't stand the fashion of those skinny jeans etc, my CO wore some really quirky clothes back in his heyday...it's funny, when he was in his 20s in the 60s and 70s, I think he was kind of unattractive  and sleazy looking but as he aged into the 80s and into his 40s, he matured & became such a sexy unusually handsome man! Oh look at me shame on me...I could ramble for hours !

    I've been looking at his film again, the movie in which I'm obsessed with him in. Mmmmm...yum...! He's so hot. I love his accent too.

    ok, I'm going off again so I better go but thank you for listening.


    TotallyBatty x

  4. Hi all, it's me again, just thought I'd come back 😄 thanks for replying to me, BlueStarr, yes, maybe it is something to do with my childhood. I kind of miss being little and innocent & my CO, he's so tall. Overpowering, big (broad) and manly, he makes me feel really little again I guess. If I stood next to him when he was in his prime in the eighties, as I am now, he'd tower above me I'm only 5'5" & he's about 6'3 or so.

    Again this morning I watched the same scary movie he was in that I'm addicted to. He's so darn sexy in it, he's so horrible in the movie yet so hot. IRL though, fortunately he seems a really nice man, but tbh little is known about him besides his beautiful name (yeah I am crazy about his name too) his age, marital status and country of birth, he's a mystery which adds to the addiction to him. He's very nice to fans, but I'd never wanna meet him IRL, he'd laugh at me because I'd act like a complete klutz around him even now ..he's old but he's still sharp as a tack, strong,  still acting and tbh still pretty good looking not many 73 year olds look like that -he still has tons of hair!

    ok, before I just ramble complete rubbish and bore you all I'm gonna check out for now, but I'll check in every week or so maybe, it's good to have a place to talk. Bye for now.


    Totally Batty.


  5. Ugh, God I'm so glad I found this forum. I'm 32 & I've had celeb crushes all m y life yet none have bothered me as much as this, truly! I've become obsessed with an actor who was in his prime in the eighties, just so hot, sexy , scary, crazy, good looking and just my type. I watch a certain movie he was in nearly every night on YouTube. I just can't get enough. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen and his handsomeness scares me to death yet I just can't take my eyes off him. I've never had any mental health worries ever before & my other crushes were just fun and fooling round. I'm married & my crush has been married years now and is getting old he's like 73 now! I don't fancy the old man he is now but I still think he's lovely. As a child I remember being quite afraid of him when I saw him in movies.  Now , not so! He's addictive. Its just weird that I'm feeling like this! Just wanted to share. I feel like I'm going mad, lol 😮

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