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Logan Sims

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About Logan Sims

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 02/05/2003

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    I don't belong anywhere.
  • Interests
    Video games and hopefully surviving long enough to beat my emotional disease.

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  • Skype

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773 profile views
  1. Pretty much past the point of not showing my depression. People can see it in the way I walk and how quiet I am. I only talk about my feelings to a few people outside of this forum. I don't think I'd ever go to a men's forum. It sounds like I'd be asking to be called a *****.
  2. I'm pretty sure I'm one of the biggest outcasts at my school. I don't know why I even try to live anymore. I'm literally a useless waste of space.
  3. At this point I'm not even sure if there really is a fun part. I hate my life plain and simple. Everytime I'm honest with my parents they make me feel bad or don't say anything to help at all. I don't know why I try anymore. Elementary school was awful, middle school was awful, high school was awful. In all honesty, my entire life has been a cesspool of anger, frustration, and sadness. I'm a junior. I still have this year and next year. It honestly feels never-ending. I'm not like most people. Because to be honest. Almost nothing makes me happy. I've been miserable since I lost my grandfather almost 8 years ago. But the one thing that brought me some genuine happiness over those years, was having a romantic and intimate relationship with someone I could actually connect with. But nothing else keeps me happy. And on top of everything, I have a huge fear of nuclear war which seems like it could start any year with tensions with North Korea and the middle east. So sometimes I wonder what the point of making progress is if I wind up being blown away like everyone else when the world goes to war for the last time. I'm honestly in such a deep pit. Nothing can really help. I just wish I had the strength to end my life so I didn't have to live through any more of this...
  4. It doesn't take a genius to take one look at me and notice that lady love has not been kind to me in the slightest. I asked two girls out last week and I got rejected by both of them. Everyday is stressful and lonely to a point where I honestly wonder why I even live anymore. Suicidal thoughts go back and forth through my mind all the time anymore. Counseling hasn't helped. A helpline won't help. These things only postpone the inevitable. I'm gonna die alone anyways while I watch everyone else be happy with their significant other. My home school's principal came in and gave announcements about homecoming at the career center and it made an already awful week even worse. All in one month I have 9/11 to depress me ( I didn't lose anyone in 9/11, but it's anniversary makes me feel horrible all the same), my grandpa died on the 20th in 2011 and I miss him like crazy, and now on top of all this shit, I have to think about how lonely and unsuccessful I am when it comes to finding a soulmate. Thanks a lot Mr. Principal... I was alone for the last homecoming too. Some people say that having a significant other is just the cherry on the top. For me it's a necessity because I feel so alone all the time. I have a few friends, but I don't really have a steady support group because my family can't really help even if they wanted to and the friends I do have will probably ditch them because I'm too depressing. I know it's hard for a girlfriend to deal with too, but I know for a fact I wouldn't be sad all the time if I had a girlfriend. I might even be happier, because lately the root of my sadness seems to be coming from being a single loser. If getting a girlfriend doesn't help and I'm still upset after that, I might as well just **** myself after she breaks up with me. Everyday I lie to my parents about how I had a good day at school. Nothing is good. I just put on a facade so I don't have to talk about it with my Mom, because she treats me like an idiot sometimes when I tell her what's bothering me. No offense to any of you here, but sometimes I wish I would just make my last post here and just stab, shoot, or hang myself. I'm really tired of life and the sadness it brings.
  5. Well I guess you should be careful what you wish for. I have a girlfriend now, but she's big into highschool drama and she's pretty demanding. I love her, but it's just my luck I guess. The power in my house is messed up right now. I can hardly plug anything in in my room or the power will surge. We also don't have an oven, hot water, a washer, or a dryer. My Mom was supposed to talk to the park manager about getting it fixed since I was told that the problem was with the power company and not on our end. The issues are on our 220 because of the appliance issues. Well, my Mom still hasn't called the park manager and it's been two weeks. I asked her about it yesterday while I was helping her with yard work and she got aggressive with me when I asked. She said no and I asked why that was. That was when she just huffed and didn't answer my question. I doubt she had a good answer for that. My brother was bothering me and one thing led to another and part of a cheap chandelier in our kitchen fell off. It was as easy as putting it back on, but my Dad told us no more horseplay and my brother got smug and rubbed it in that I was the one that knocked the piece off. I wanted to slam him through a wall. I've had it with this family. Hardly any progress is made and it's one of the most frustrating things ever. I'm not sure if I'm going to eat tonight. Maybe if I starve myself they might begin to realize how much stress and pain they're all causing me. I cut once and it seemed like for a week they actually cared.. It's sad when your parents don't care about you until you do something to yourself.. This won't be my first time..
  6. Today was my second day. I'm just worried this will be yet another place where I don't fit in and social interaction will suck. And I can throw getting a girlfriend out the window too while I'm at it.
  7. It's been a mixed bag. The teachers seem nice, but I'm a loser and don't have friends to sit with at lunch. I almost cried in geometry today because we filled out intro sheets and the teacher said not to leave any boxes blank. There was a box that said new friends I made and a box that said things i learnt about my new friends. I sadly had to write that I hadn't really made any friends yet. I've tried to open up, but most people just seem to ignore me. Just like my last school. I look at people and give them a friendly smile, but I don't get the same thing back...
  8. That's not nearly as easy as you think. I'll try. But I doubt it will help. Because I tried last year and failed. And everyone hated me. I know I'm going to off myself eventually. It will most likely be this year if it doesn't go well. Don't give me the hotline number. I'll never use it again. I used it once and it didn't really help. It just made me feel embarrassed like I was wasting that person's time. So this might be the year that my depression takes me.
  9. Well.. I have school tomorrow. Talked to a girl online for a couple days. got my hopes up. then i got dumped. (shocker). I'm too big of a loser to get and keep a girl. they realize in no time that im a waste of space and a piece of shit. i honestly wonder why i even try anymore. im fighting a losing battle ive always fought a losing battle and im tired of it. if im going to lose i should just forfeit and give up already. just end it all so its over and done with. nobody needs me or wants me. i get to start at a new school where nobody knows me and even more people can know me as the depressed nutcase who is also a single loser. i just give up. im so freaking done with being on my own no matter what. tired of being a nobody. tired of not being important to anybody in my life.
  10. Just really worried that this school will be more of the same. I already hate myself and who my father is because he passed his mental problems onto me. So my mind just tears my emotions to shred. Something as simple as a love song to remind me that I'm single has me looking down at the floor in shame. My brain can connect things easily so I can be thinking about something that isn't even related to my woes and my mind goes out of it's way just to connect my woes with something that should be all good and well. My brain can basically just turn my world into hell on earth at any given moment and then people around me wonder why I'm so sad and depressing all the time. Everyday I wonder if I shouldn't just put myself out of my misery. I probably shouldn't have kids because I would be putting them through the same hell my Dad is putting me through thanks to his mental issues that he passed onto me. So I would just pass it onto them. That hurts. A part of me feels like less and less people want to live on Earth everyday though. Our world is either getting worse or the planet as a whole is just getting more and more depressed. Probably both. Either way most days I want to die. Most people I meet don't really seem to want an actual relationship with me. Finding a girlfriend is pretty much out of the question. Any girl can tell just by a glance that I'm far from an ideal guy to date and that I'll just cause everybody grief. That conclusion isn't too far off.
  11. Thank you for your words. I can wholeheartedly say that I don't find comfort in the hopelessness. If I did I think I would know at least. I'm going to be in a computer networking class this year where I might excel.
  12. I won't find a reason to keep going. Life has sucked for almost 8 years. First my grandpa died, then since I started middleschool I haven't been able to make and keep friends or girlfriends. I just want to give up. Nothing I do seems to matter. I just suck since most people want nothing to do with me.
  13. Really struggling right now. Going to a new school starting August 14th where I'm already sure that nobody there will like me. Worried no girl will ever like me. Worried I'm going to be alone forever. Tired of being told that I'm only 16 and that I have my whole life. Being told that doesn't purge the loneliness from my heart. It doesn't remove all the pain that has piled up throughout my entire life. I'm not ready for another awful school year. But I don't have a choice. Two more years of this and then I can work until I die. Really wondering why I even try to live anymore. It doesn't get any easier. Girl's don't like me and I don't really have a solid friend group. My family isn't a good place to find solace either. It's all bad these days. I feel like if I at least had a girlfriend I could be happy at least a little bit. That might begin to makeup for all the years of bad my parents have brought upon me. But I'm not attractive and I'm not always funny. So girls really have no reason to like me. So I might as well go shoot myself because I'm not really needed or wanted and I don't want to go to a new school with new people who will all probably hate me just like the people at my last school. I'm so done. I feel like crying but the tears won't come anymore. I think I'm going to give up soon. I'm sick of feeling like nobody gives a damn about me. I'm tired of crying over all the people who leave me to rot or die on me. I can't take it anymore..
  14. i dont even know why im here. my life sucks. i live in a dump. i dont have any friends. no way in hell i would ever get a girlfriend. my mom is working so hard lately that she'll wind up in a hospital. my dad wont get a job and help. i cant take it much more. im tired of thinking i deserve anything better than the endless hell ive been given. i will lose everything. ive already lost all my friends. family comes next. my childhood is almost gone. everyone expects me to just grow up and deal with it all. im ready to stab myself. im ready to end it all because i dont want to be around to see anymore of this. i dont want to be around to see who leaves me behind next. i dont want to be around to emotionally and physically beat myself up anymore. i dont want to be around any longer to become any worse than i already am. its been an awful life. i am eager for it to end.im tired of seeing happier people around me who rise so much farther above me while i sink more and more everyday. its hard to have nothing to look forward to. no friends. family is going to dwindle or won't be able to deal with me anymore. the golden days of my childhood have long since ended. since i was 8 it has just been a living hell. all of it. ive only gotten worse and i will only get worse as the days, weeks, months, years, and decades go on. i can already tell that within the next couple years my family will probably abandon me just like everyone else. because more and more people begin to see that i cant be dealt with anymore. the hopelessness, despair, and anger will consume me until i completely become them. it is most likely coming sooner than i think. the world continues without me even if im still there. im not destined for greatness. i am condemned to tragedy. nobody has been able to save me thus far. no one ever will. hopefully ill get shot or something so i wont live to get worse. nuclear war is another thought that never leaves my mind. i wonder how long it will be until i hear the sirens and my family melt before my eyes. i wonder how long it will be before we all become ashes. it scares me. it may be for the best though. so many people are miserable. i don't feel like my life has really been worth living in the last 8 years. i would be terrified if nuclear war begun. but all things must come to an end. the earth too. maybe it would be best with how many evil, crooked, and miserable people there are. i would much rather just take a bullet if it would make earth a paradise instead of trying to save my lost cause of a self. its too late for me. has been for a while. the point of contamination has long since been passed. i just hope that when the day comes that i decide to end my life that the people who abandoned me are happy with themselves when they find out that im dead. they should be. they would have contributed to the greater good in putting down a pitiful creature...
  15. i cant take it anymore. i live without purpose. i dont belong anywhere. going to counseling tomorrow but i know it wont fix me. i wasnt broken. i was burnt into ashes that were scattered in the wind. nobody can help me. this hopelessness is a fire that can never be extinguished. water evaporates. no temperature is cold enough. this fire cannot be put out. my hopeless is an endless void. i feel no love. this will consume me. i am not strong enough to beat this. i can scream for help all i want. but i will never be able to use the help people offer. this hopelessness is a monster that has bit all of my limbs to their nubs. nobody can enter the arena. they can throw me swords. what good is a sword without a single limb to wield such a weapon? i pray to god that i die soon. if god is merciful he will end this. i can already guarantee that he will just turn his back on me for the millionth time. i cant stay much longer. i feel no love from my family. friends are gone. no girls on earth who would be naive enough to think im a good boy to date. no more. no more. no more. make it end. please god. make it end. please. please.
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