StillStandinTall

@Because11 Howdy! You sound a lot like me. I was a light drinker and also quit totally about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I quit caffeine at the same time. I was drinking about two 2 liters of diet Pepsi per day. yikes, lots of caffeine & aspartame. I am currently on 150mg/day of zoloft - those first few weeks coming off caffeine was tough. I sank pretty low, but am coming back around. I’m hoping that these changes will long term be fore the best. PS coming off soda was tougher than I thought it would be. Lots of cravings. best.

finally no pounding headache. feeling peaceful - first time in a long time.

@idkusername465 I feel the same way - I try to like the outdoors and sun but I’m happier being inside especially when it’s dark or raining; there is solace in solitude.

skin crawling anxious, I am so tired of my stomach being in knots. I got on the treadmill for 15 minutes - the most exercise I’ve done in... months? Exhausted from no sleep and exhausted from sleeping. holding on.

I went outside and took some pictures. I upped my meds and am not feeling like I’m going to have panic attack; a fear that has plagued me for weeks

@Tears_Always thank you for the wishes So I went to day 1 on Friday and guess what?!? I have anxiety (which I knew) but apparently talk therapy and changing thought patterns are a big part of dealing with this disorder. Hopefully if I address anxiety it will help with my depression. I am trying to be completely honest as I believe that I need to deal with some deep rooted issues. I’m guessing that anxiety is related to not dealing with these issues. I am trying to not be afraid so that I can deal with my fears.

@Tears_Always @BeyondWeary @sober4life @MarkintheDark thank you all for your thoughts - this has been weighing heavy on my mind for awhile. As it turns out a therapist that I reached out to a few weeks ago, called me today (and amazingly I answered the phone - ha). So... I scheduled an appointment for talk therapy. I’ve never done anything like this before. I used to be proud of the fact that no one really knew me. I’ve become very good at hiding behind walls and lies. I’ve always been afraid to let people know who I really am. I will do my best to be completely honest, with boundaries, as I don’t want to be committed. This is a big step. A new journey.

@MarkintheDark I meant to add in my original post that the people here have been great support I have some things happening (or not happening) that hinge on my latest plunge into darkness that I’m struggling to justify. I’ve been toying with the idea of letting a few people in rather than continuing to make up lame excuses.... but am afraid of the potential backfire. thank you for your thoughts

For me, part of my depression & anxiety is a fear of discussing my mental problems with anyone. Family, friends, no one except my doc knows what I am going thru. there are a few threads that touch on this topic but with their own twists - but it boils down to people not understanding and my fear of being labeled bc this disease is so misunderstood. I suffer alone. I want to reachout but I can’t take the risk of what that could mean; prying inquiries of my head. Being the one who is responsible for causing worry. Has anyone else experienced these feelings / what have you done? thank you.

I made lunch and a phone call

hey man, its been awhile. good to see you're still with us - sorry to see you're still here. I dropped off for awhile - geeze I guess I was feeling better - but the dark clouds are looming on the horizon. started my slip by searching the web for answers to life's problems or other solutions. I’m afraid I’m starting to run around with scissors again 8( new Doc new meds (off zoloft & on lamotrigine) which must have worked for awhile as I kinda forgot about you all. anyways saw you name and thought I’d say howdy.

I haven't been around the forum much - that is a good thing as I am gaining the upper hand my attitude has done a 180 degree turn - it is nice not to think of death every 30 seconds. thought I'd share some goodness best

@MarkintheDark IDK - I just upped my dosage as I wasn't getting results.... without my Dr's knowledge. The ramp up is so long I can understand that you want to jump in.

@Illusions144 its all about what you can deal with. If you can muscle thru the side effects, go for it. To make things a little easier on your body, you may want to step yourself up by breaking tabs so that you're only increasing by 25mg every few weeks....

@MarkintheDark Why not ask these questions to your psychologist on Monday? It's only a few days away, can you hold out till then? maybe they'll have a different suggestion?!?