9E4

It sounds to me like you may be vulnerable to developing OCD even if you maybe do not quite have it yet. I have OCD myself, and years before I realized it, I had some compulsions checking things. I recommend that you be vigilant, and if you notice that these compulsions continue to get worse or significantly impact your life, definitely seek professional help. You also may want to seek out some self-help materials. If left untreated, OCD can truly wreck havoc on your life.

I just wanted to mention that from what I have seen, Yahoo Answers is a cesspool of trolls. It seems to be used mainly for posting provocative political questions and generating animosity. I am not at all surprised that @chumly got a hateful response. In my opinion, that site should be shut down.

Thank you all for your responses. The job seems to be in an administrative office keeping track of various things in databases and processing mail. I actually have an interview coming up later this month, which should be informative. I just couldn't help but wonder whether it is wise for someone with depression to plan on getting up each morning to go work in a prison. @Rattler6 makes a good point though: I wouldn't have to work there forever. Ultimately, I think having good working relationships with your coworkers is more important than where you are working.

I have been looking for a job for quite a while, and I might be able to get a desk job in a prison. However, I am concerned that a prison environment could seriously exacerbate my depression. I was wondering if anyone here has worked in a prison and has an experience to share. Any opinions are welcome.

Being unemployed is brutal with depression. I am in that situation as well and am trying to find a way out. It sounds like you are putting good effort towards finding employment. I know the feeling of being repeatedly rejected. We are willing to work yet it seems that no one will give us a chance. Perhaps a psychiatrist could help you get off the Vyvanse and onto a proper antidepressant to help manage your depression.

It sounds like you are looking for a psychotherapist. If you need help finding one, you could ask your doctor for a referral. You also may be able to find one through your health insurance's provider list. If there is a lack of therapists in your area, you could try using an online counseling service.

I wanted to warn you to not convince yourself that you will be fired. I made the mistake of impulsively quitting a job because I feared that I would be fired, and in hindsight, I probably would not have been. (I was concerned about those job applications that ask whether you have ever been fired.) Now, I am unemployed. If your manager says you are doing fine, I think you probably are doing fine. Be careful not to try reading her mind. There is no indication that she plans to fire you.

Depression and resume gaps make an awful cycle. If you have a resume gap due to depression, it is harder to get a job, while continuing to be unemployed contributes to depression. Hopefully we can somehow break this cycle.

I sometimes feel that way when I am taking an antidepressant. I have found SSRI antidepressants to work decently well for relieving the mood symptoms of depression, but I have also found them to cause increased sleepiness. On one of these drugs, it is normal for me to spend 10-11 hours in bed each night/morning. With Celexa and Zoloft, the drowsiness was ridiculously severe; I could not really live my life. I am now on Prozac, and while there is still some drowsiness, it is manageable. On the other hand, before I was taking antidepressants, I would have a lot of mood-related fatigue. I would feel really low, and it would be difficult to push myself to do very basic tasks. I would not necessarily feel sleepy, but I would do things extremely slowly.

I do as well. My depression makes getting a job very difficult. I have to convince people that they should hire me when I can barely convince myself that life is worth living! Because of my lack of motivation, I have tended to end up with very low-level jobs in poor working environments, which when coupled with my fragile mental health lead me to quit. I am currently unemployed and am pushing myself to find a better job. Fortunately, I have been receiving a lot of support from those close to me.

I can tell that you care a lot about your daughter, which is admirable. I am not a dentist, but I highly doubt that you ruined your daughter's life, and I am certain that your daughter is better off with you alive. I suggest consulting a dentist for your daughter and a therapist for yourself. I know that forgiving yourself for a mistake, even if you did not know better, can be extremely difficult, and a therapist could help you cope.

I am speechless. It sounds more like your mother was evil than you were "weird."

Expecting one person to work that much is unreasonable, whether or not they suffer from depression. You don't get nearly enough time to sleep, let alone accomplish the mundane tasks of daily living. It is also counterproductive because anyone would become exhausted and not work efficiently rather quickly. I can't help but wonder what job(s) are requiring you to work that much. It does not mean you are disabled if you cannot handle working that much; it simply means you are a human rather than a machine.

HopeBoi, your post reminds me so much of my own experience with OCD. Unfortunately, OCD does not go away on its own, and I can say from experience that it can truly take over your life and disable you. Don't just keep struggling; seek treatment. Self-help books on OCD can help you get started, but I still strongly recommend seeing a therapist with OCD expertise. You can work through any embarrassment you may feel. I promise that the results are worth it.

I am in a similar position in that I do not want children and am not looking for a relationship. I have seen multiple psychiatrists/psychologists/therapists, and not one has had any issue accepting that. None of them suggested that not wanting those things indicates a disorder. I suggest you find a different psychiatrist if possible. At least, try to not take what she said so personally. Her credentials do not actually give her the authority to decide whether or not you are a "normal person."