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AlexTaylor

Newbie
  • Content Count

    10
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About AlexTaylor

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday 04/11/2002

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Geneva, Switzerland
  • Interests
    - Manchester United -
    - Non-league/grassroots football -
    - Skiing -
    - Travelling -
    - Music (wifisfuneral, ohtrapstar, icy narco, joey bada$$ etc.) -
    - Friends -
    - Supporting others in my position -
    - Left wing anarchy -

Recent Profile Visitors

323 profile views
  1. Hey man, you know what I’m in the exact same position as you. Back in January, a girl came into my life and completely changed it. We were only friends, and believe me I didn’t want a relationship. But we had a friendship that I couldn’t even begin to describe. We’d meet pretty much on the daily, make each other laugh, get high, listen to music and talk about things. It felt like the only time I was happy was when I was with her. Then, she just decided that she wasn’t friends with me anymore, completely snaked me. I asked her about it and she wanted “new friends” and apparently that meant falling out with me. It completely wrecked me, the past month has been dreadful. Falling out with her has ruined my life, I smoke pack a day and about 2 grams of puff a week, I’ve not excercised, fell out with friends and family and stopped showing up to class. Bottom line, there is nothing more painful than investing your feelings into someone only for that person to cut ties with you. I just want you to know that I’m here to offer my support and understanding should you need it. I’ve still not gotten over it and I fear that my life is going under as a result, so let’s ride it out together...
  2. Oh right well I don’t know I guess that’s supposed to have a deeper meaning, i just see my self as the shell any other 16 year old living like every other 16 year old I know of, like I said I’m in a decent school in a nice part of town with a large group of friends. But inside i feel something that is too uncomfortable to describe. It’s like a perfect mix of apathy, boredom and anger. I guess the drugs and lack of exercise don’t help too much and I’m trying to stop that but i guess there has been a few things that have happened recently that have really pushed me over the line and honestly at times I’ve felt like the drugs have been my only source of happiness. I’m probably going to post something about that so look out for it.
  3. Hi, thanks so much for the advice it means a lot. Yeah fair to say I’ve had some pretty painful toothaches recently!! I see what you mean and I really appreciate the support and tips, coming from someone who has been through similar experiences, it is definetly useful. thanks again alex
  4. Hi cvlt, Honestly I have suffered from pretty much all of the symptoms you have described and my best advice is to try and take some stuff a bit less strong than aderall and xanax. If you’re worried about insomnia, try taking some quick-release ritalin. It only lasts for around 4 hours but it does the trick and the insomnia won’t happen depending on when u take it. As for xanax, it’s pretty addictive so I’d be cautious of that, also it’s known to cause depression and I have known people who have committed suicide during the comedown phases. My advice to help alleviate the depression would be just to try and get some over the counter CBD pan, (it worked for me), if it’s legal in your area and if not just see what your doctor says. alex
  5. Thanks for the help man it really does mean a lot
  6. Hi, I’m Alex, I’m 16 & live in Switzerland, I’m not too sure what I’m trying to achieve here, but I guess I just wanna get a few thing off my chest when nobody else will listen. I’m 16, come from a financially stable middle class family, live in a nice area, attend a nice school, have a large group of friends, why do I wake up feeling empty inside. I may just sound like I’m exaggerating, or making this all up for sympathy, but since I was about 11 years old, I have felt a great degree of loneliness & negativity, and fear that I will stuck like this for the rest of my life. Recently, I have had a falling out with my best friend, simply because of my depression. I’m pretty good at hiding my depression, but the other day, I flipped out, started crying uncontrollably & acting really irrational. I was texting her while this was going on, and since then she has barely spoken to me. I brought the issue up with her and she basically said that what happened that day disturbed her so much that she can’t see me as the same person and thinks it was all a sympathy game. The reason I had that outburst is because my dad had acted really violent and threatened to kick me out as a result of his alcoholism. My family has grown extremely dysfunctional mainly due to my academic inabilities and depressive outbursts. The only thing holding me & my dad together is our football team, Manchester United. Recently, however, both of United’s fiercest rivals, Manchester City and Liverpool, have had very successful periods, with City winning the league and Liverpool progressing to the semifinal of a major European tournament. I know this doesn’t seem like much, but as mentioned, the only thing keeping our family together, is our football club and this has been the case for as long as I can remember. Each member of my family has suffered with severe mental trauma over the years. My mother was subject to domestic abuse by her ex who left her with no money to raise their son who suffered heavily from racial abuse being half-cast, and as a result has extremely aggravated outbursts, threatening me with a knife on multiple occasions. My dad has suffered from alcoholism pretty much his entire life but justifies with the fact that he has kept a very respectable job & lifestyle. And I, have suffered from homesickness (I am originally from Manchester, England) and depression from a worryingly young age. Not only this, both my grandparents suffer from arthritis to an extent where they are in fact looking forward to being laid to rest; I witnessed my grandma have a stroke on Christmas Day. My brother had a daughter at the age of 22, he lives in the same s***ty town we all grew up in, earning £300 a week and paying a third of that per week a child support service. I have always had depression, but this is the first time I have felt completely numb, looking forward to nothing, having no desire to do anything, not being able to find anything happy to look back on. I’m afraid that if I have another depressive outburst I may lose even more friends. I simply don’t know what to do anymore, i even turned to using LSD, molly and illegal drug if only to find some kind of psychedelic or mind altering inspiration that may change my outlook. I am hoping that anyone reading this can offer their insight as to what they would do in my shoes, I feel like I have nobody right now, my friends and family all tell me I’m full of but even if I am, why do I get these overwhelming sensations that cause me to have such immense feelings of apathy and depression to an extent that I do not even have the desire to go to sleep knowing that I’ll wake up with the same feeling in me... even though I’m young and don’t really have any responsibilities, I am not making this up, I wouldn’t waste my time writing this to find sympathy off anonymous people I’ll likely never meet, I’m doing it for the reasons I mentioned before, I know I’m not the only one to have these feelings, so if anyone has any suggestions, please tell me Alex
  7. Hi Leila, thanks for your support, The problem with me & this girls’ friendship is that I hadn’t even thought of the idea of “hooking up” until a friend of ours suggested it. Basically this friend (let’s call her B & the main friend A) told me that A had feelings for me & told A that I had feelings for her. At first, it was all just a bit of fun, we kind of made a joke out of the whole situation & planned out where it should happen & everything. The first thing I thought the following morning is that I hope to god that things don’t get weird between us & even told that to B & my other friends who knew about it. I had to go away for a few days & we texted as we usually would, like all friends do, & when I got back we met up & things seemed normal. I didn’t really wanna talk about the hook up as if it never happened. We carried on texting but the following day I fell out w my dad & was talking with her about it but she seemed different on the phone. The next time we met up she completely ignored me. She pretty much never texts me now & if she does it’s just a random picture & no actual text. We have a group chat with all our friends & whenever I post something like “who’s going out tonight” on it she doesn’t respond, whereas a few months ago she would’ve responded in a matter of seconds. And then, after her not responding, I see her a few hours later with a few other friends. This isn’t infatuation because i am 100% sure i do not want any sexual or emotional relationship with this girl. anyway thanks once again for your support, glad you can see where I’m coming from. Alex
  8. Hi, thanks a lot for the advice, it does genuinely mean a lot. One of the big issues with trying to communicate is that, even though we’re really good friends, I’ve rarely ever had a “personal” conversation with this girl & being only 15 I feel like doing so could squander our friendship even more. either way thanks once again for the support & I’ll keep it in mind alex
  9. hi, I’m Alex, I’m 15 & live in Geneva, Switzerland. Recently, I feel like I have lost a very good friend & I am not sure why, and was looking for advice. Basically the story is that I have (or had) a friend who I was really close to, we went out pretty much all the time, used to text everyday. But all of a sudden, she began to stop texting me, she stopped coming out as much and when she did she kept her distance, I even kind of subtly called her out for it, but it’s so hard to communicate with her as she for whatever reason stopped speaking to me. It’s not as if I’m looking for another type of relationship, I just don’t wanna fall out with such a good friend. When you lose such a good friend it’s like losing a part of your life, to go from routinely talking to them to barely talking at all to them. I don’t feel like I’ll ever strike up another friendship as good as that. I have no idea why she has all of a sudden decided to start acting like this. The one thing I can point to is that, a few weeks ago, she hosted a little get together and me & her were kissing all night, just kissing, that’s it. The next day I went home & we met up the following week & she seemed fine, but for whatever reason, when we were with friends she changed. I want that friendship back & would give literally anything to have it back. That’s why I turned to here, please if you have any, give me some advice, I’ve tried talking with her about it but as I said it’s just so hard to do that with her. I don’t wanna let go of such a good friend just like that.
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