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AF2018

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About AF2018

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  1. I hope im asking in the right area.. He never gets out of the house except to get gas. Just retired. ANYTHING you suggest such as, "How about try this or try that?" he gives excuses as to why he cant. Exercise? Cant. Wont. Refuses to. The latest thing hes doing is refusing to cut the grass in the back yard because wild clovers are growing and 'pretty wild flowers will bloom in the fall'. Picture a yard full of green luscious grass... but instead of grass... its ankle high, thick (impossible to walk in) clovers. WEEDS! He didnt plant these on purpose. They just started to grow and its the latest thing hes fixating on. Its making ME depressed! My mother is overbearing, I know this, and my siblings think maybe its him acting out against her because she runs EVERYTHING?? My question is this... ethically speaking... is it wrong for me to use plant killer without telling him to remove these weeds? Please understand the consequences of not cutting the grass. Mice, snakes, ants, tripping hazard. LOOKS AWFUL! Picture this on your ENTIRE yard. What do I do? I know the easy answer is 'sit down and tell him he needs to cut it' BUT HE WONT. ABSOLUTELY WONT. The weeds need to go. We cant have a yard full of weeds! All I want to do is start small and destroy (cant say the K word here) the weeds a little at a time. And im not worried about it destroying the grass because the yard is pretty much dirt. ITS JUST NOT NORMAL! going INSANE!
  2. genius yes. I wonder what causes people to count things?
  3. the way i look at life is this.. if I'm 100% completely honest with myself, there is no way I..me.. the person i am... is suffering the most out of every other human in the world. and yet, people who are suffering 1000 times more than i somehow manage to survive. if they can do it.. so can i. i remember once when i was feeling down years ago, i was walking around outside and i saw this woman in a wheelchair. no legs, thin as bone, and had a tube in her throat. and yet SHE WAS SMILING. How is that possible? how could SHE be smiling and I'm over here sulking? it really struck home for me and from that day forward i looked differently on life.
  4. so are you saying only the strong, beautiful people fall in love? do you have any idea how many beautiful people get married and then get divorced? or how many gorgeous people end up with debilitating diseases? beautiful people are beautiful but that doesn't mean they have perfect lives.
  5. you'll find people like this wherever you go. the point is, as you grow you learn to deal with them better. once you do this enough it stops bothering you. life is a lesson. you'll get it. give it time : )
  6. hey, long time no talk. how are you? i don't like the 'I can tell he thinks of me as a disappointment and helpless.' if he's your love, are you sure you're his? great job wanting to look after yourself. you're doing the right thing. put YOURSELF first.
  7. you pretty much have to decide to change something even if its something small. you seem to know what you don't want in life, which means you inadvertently know what you do want; a change. but to make a change, you need to change something. if you go back to school, you could get a degree, meet people (possibly your significant other), go out with people and make friends.. and then get that career job you want.
  8. first... can you please dream that i find $1 million please. see my point? just because you dream it doesnt mean it can / or is happening. why do you think hes cheating on you?
  9. you just havent been an adult long enough to know how wrong you are. its an absolute GIFT to be able to make someone smile. in the workforce, people are mean, cruel, aggressive... they love putting others down because their lifes stink so much that its the only pleasure they have. Most people lack the ability to make others smile simply because its easier to be a jerk. when you get older, youre going to see this as true.
  10. we are reading your posts and responding to them, right? this means youre not worthless because youre important enough to even strangers to have nice conversations with. i have to admit, you have a great writing style and excellent composition. have you ever thought about getting a BA in creative writing??
  11. @IfItMeansAlotToYou... first do your part as a wife. without crying (difficult, yes)... tell him you love him, that you dont want the marriage to end and youre willing to work with him to figure out the next step. see what he says. if he says no and starts to put you down, go to the next step. seek help for yourself. professional advice. see what they say. if that ends up failing its time to do the opposite of what he is expecting. leave him. not permanently of course, youre not trying to end the marriage. do you have someone you can move in with for a couple weeks (as hard as that will be) such as parents? siblings? friend? of course, keep in the back of your mind that it may end up being permanent if he actually leaves you. he wants space? give it to him. he doesnt want you in his life? show him what his life is like without you. dont call him, dont beg and plead. its what he wants. begging and pleading wont work because youll be feeding his agenda. he'll feel wanted and needed and secure knowing that someone (you) wants him. he will have all the power in his hands. but if you give him space, he'll either see what he is saying is wrong and he'll come back to you, or, he'll actually leave. you dont want to live your life being abused emotionally like this. marriage is a partnership. its our job to do what we can to keep it going, even through the difficult times. but there are times when the hard parts require us to take ourselves out of the picture temporally. thoughts?
  12. i took your recommendation to heart and im letting the grass grow for a week! the earth can use more photosynthesis, right!? haha
  13. deciding if i should cut the grass or sit back and relax. hmmmmmm..
  14. to possibly help you not feel so bad here, most people never live up to their potential. heck, had i... id probably be a famous engineer / rock star. many individuals walk out of their jobs in disgust because of horrible managers, and most people are living pay check to paycheck.
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