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Liesel

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Posts posted by Liesel

  1. On 11/14/2019 at 5:38 AM, TotallyBatty said:

    Hello all

    its me TotallyBatty...I'm sorry I've not been on here for a while well, life got in the way and well I might as well just let you all know that my CO died in July of this year and I've been devastated ever since. I've not stopped crying tbh it hit me like a Mach truck and I've just been reeling. I remember the day I found out he'd died I was reading the paper and I saw a small article on him thinking Yay he's doing some more acting and I looked again and it said in bold "(CO Name) dies aged 75" well I literally went dizzy and dropped the paper and ran away shaking. Mum wondered if I'd been suddenly ill or under the weather but I'm a chicken and can't tell her! 

    I am guessing you may now know who my crush was but tbh I am not too bothered who knows. He's gone now so he won't see it. 😭😭

    i had a dream about him a few nights ago in the dream I was talking to him but in spirit, it brought me some comfort, even though I'm not sure about the afterlife, or such. I'll go for now, but I just thought I'd share my sadness with others who loved or love someone famous.

     

    take care..

     

    T.B

    Hi, TB, as I read this my heart sank for you. Oh I know the feeling all too well 😞 One of my major COs died November of 2017 and he was just 67. I still feel helpless over it. I know people we know in real life might not understand how much it can affect us but I certically understand and I’m sure many in this forum do too. You’re not alone. The comfort I take is in listening to his music and watching the shows he was in and letting him continue to live on through the entertainment he created for the world. That will always be here. In a sad way I’m glad I didn’t know him personally else I’d be utterly wrecked but my heart still hurts seeing the pain he went through towards the end of his life and knowing his life story. Ugh the struggle of being an extreme empath... But I really hope you continue to take comfort in the dreams if they continue. 

  2. 2 hours ago, LadyAmalthea said:

    I'm also an INFJ and I find it so difficult to stay engaged in conversation, even with my friends, because I'm naturally quiet. So, naturally, my mind wanders to my CO constantly. I get that jolt in my heart as well! Like a thrill of joy. I completely relate to the feeling of living a fantasy double life. Have you heard of maladaptive daydreaming? I struggle with it, and it sounds a little similar to what you're talking about. Thanks for sharing! 

    Woah everything you said is basically me. I often think being an INFJ is part of what causes me to become unusually invested and extreme with whatever celebrity crush I have at the time. That’s so weird I recently discovered the word maladaptive daydreaming as I was looking up my symptoms and I’d be surprised if I haven’t had it since I was a child. I must have some type of disassociation. I wish I never discovered fanfiction because it’s my dream come true but I’ve lost sleep reading them because I enjoy being in the fantasy world of my crush too much. And I hit the goldmine if a fanfic happens to match up with my own scenarios I play out in my head. I too am naturally quiet but in school that was looked down upon because a large part of my grade was dependent on participation during class discussion. So I learned to “act” and I still sort of become a more talkative person with a lot of effort around people but it makes me need to recharge alone and that’s when I retreat to my fantasy world with my crush. So I totally get your struggle and thank you for sharing as well!

  3. 4 hours ago, Myshka said:

    My older crush  (it feels weird calling him that since I wish he were my dad sometimes too!) is also a musician! The band he's most known for was really big in the 80s, though. He's still alive, but he actually died the year I was born, but paramedics brought him back. It took two shots to the heart! He was crazy as hell back in the day (as was pretty much every band back then), but he seems like a normal, happy, down to earth family man these days. He was gorgeous back in the day but in reality, he probably was not that great to be with at that time.The young version of him that I fantasize about and him now are like two totally different people. I could not even imagine if somebody who looked the way he did in the 80s but had the personality he does now existed. I don't think the female population could have handled it! 😄 

    I have always had that feeling of having an exciting secret fantasy life that nobody knows about. Sometimes, your real life just can't compare! I totally understand the problem with living in your own head. I got an INFJ on that test years ago myself! I definitely understand having your celebrity crush pop up in your head at random. It's always happened to me all the time! Happened to me today in class, actually!

    Ha! Wow what a story he has! The fact that he was “brought back” the year you were born is eerie! Yep, like my rockstar crush, he nearly died twice, once from overdose and became a person he didn’t like and had quite the temper but bless his heart he’s been sober for a long time now. I guess it is a good thing for our sakes that ideal version of them doesn’t exist 😂 

  4. 3 hours ago, Myshka said:

    Well, I have a new celebrity crush that I spend way too much time thinking about!

    This time around, he's just under thirty years older than me. He was almost the age I am now when I was born! He's a year older than my dad! It's really nice to feel so young in comparison to a crush. 

    It's kind of odd being into someone whose been in the public eye for so long. When I fantasize about him in an explicit sense, it's his younger self from before I was born through when I was a young kid. He still has some good features and he looks good considering his age and how many drugs he used to do, but his 20s and 30s are when I thought he was so extremely hot.

    Now that he's in his 60s, I kinda wish he were my dad sometimes. I'm closer in age to most of his kids than I am him. My own dad wasn't much and he seems like a wonderful father to all his kids. He says himself that he loves being a dad and can't get enough of it. He posted about his grown daughter once and it made me wish so hard that I had a dad like him.

    He seems like someone who wasn't the greatest to the countless women he's slept with (or even to his two ex wives once they split) but he seems like an absolute dream of a father. He seems wonderful to his current wife, though. I realize how messed up it is that I wish he were my dad sometimes and have graphic mature thoughts of him other times. I'm probably a psychologist's dream come true! 

     

    Boy do I relate. Hi to everyone btw I joined this thread a year ago when I was deep in a CO and here I am again a year later with a new one and the funny thing is they both were big musicians in the 70s. That’s when they were my age so I fantasize about them from that time but I adore them as 60-70 year old men now but in a sweet, fuzzy way like I love seeing them with their families and my newest one I’m just so happy for and I adore him. Actually I’ll admit the one from last year has been deceased since 2017 but I discovered his music when he was young and fell for him anyway. Yeah I can’t even begin to work out the psychology on myself with this lol. My new celebrity crush of about two months is alive and well but I love going back in time on YouTube and watching his early performances when he was gorgeous and basically every video I can find of him, you know how it goes lol.

    Do you ever find yourself in social circles with people your age and all of a sudden the name or face of your CO springs to your mind and you feel a jolt in your heart like you’re living a double life that’s exciting and you can’t wait to return to that fantasy world that no one knows about involving your CO? I try to live in the moment as best I can but it’s really a challenge as an INFJ to just be present and not drift off in my head. 

  5. Thanks @decado, That’s a really admirable idea to limit yourself to two videos a day. I’m still in that “new phase” of my CO where everything he does is gold and I just want to look his beautiful self up all the time lol. However, I’ve done this enough to know there are limits to how much I want to find. If I dig too deep, I know there’s stuff I won’t want to read or see and that’s actually kept me from searching him more. I’m kind of in a good place just choosing to enjoy his music and watch his tv show. I have to seriously limit my spending on his merch though..that’s been my latest outlet. 

    Oh my goodness! Enjoy your M&G and maybe prepare what you’re going to say beforehand even if it’s just one line you remember, unless you have no trouble with that. I met my all time biggest CO 12 years ago and I wasted my breath on saying stupid things to him lol. That’s good it’s motivating you to get healthier though. That’s definitely a benefit to a CO.

    Yeah I have to agree with you. My CO distracts me from things in my life I don’t want to think about which in some cases isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s making me not think about the guy I liked that I have to see all the time. But I have to work on staying focused on work and family and not my CO. You’re absolutely right. I don’t want it ever to cause me to become too reclusive. I’m naturally very introverted so even without a CO, I have to fight with myself to get out of my comfort zone. I did see friends today and later this week we’ll be hanging out so I felt pretty good about that. It’s when I’m home that it’s the hardest to complete tasks without distraction. And thanks for that offer. I extend the same to you if you ever want to DM me :) I really hope the M&G goes well!

    @HopelessRomantic2011That’s great you hung out with him! I know how good that can feel to get to that point. I think it’s important to not let your expectations go too high like you already said, but don’t lose hope before it’s begun. Ugh tell me about it. Those kind of mixed signals have made me become way more cautious not to jump to conclusions. And that’s a great mindset to be in with your CO :) I hope it continues that way for you. 

  6. Thank you @BlueStarr!

    Oh whew that’s good to know I’m not alone :) I’ve always been that way too. Even when I was 13 my CO was an actor in his 40s lol. I also just find older eras so fascinating and exciting to learn about how things were different and also the same back then as they are now.

     But man how I’m desperate for a time machine right about now. Never thought I’d envy my mom so much and how she got to witness his height of stardom. But it kills me she never went to his concerts since she wasn’t that big of a fan. I’m having to live through old videos and vinyl records. This ain’t an easy CO to have..

  7. 8 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

    Personally, I agree with this! I just recently started to dip my toes into online dating again. I've met three guys within the last week and I was sort of excited about one of them, but now I'm thinking that he probably won't contact me again although he said he would. For me, having a celebrity obsession is far less disappointing.

    I am excited to say that my current CO is older than me! I went from a 22 year old to a 44 year old. lol

    I just got through a rough obsession with someone I know personally and it sucked sooo bad because I thought he liked me and then BAM I overhear him talking about a girl he’s really into and now they’re going out. So I totally agree. It’s worse to have an obsession with someone in your real life in my opinion. But good for you for trying dating right now. You never know what may come of that. My best friend’s sister got married today and they met on a dating app lol. 

    My CO is a 70s pop rock idol..yeah I’ve really done it to myself this time, cause I’m in my 20s with friends who are in their 20s.. yet I relate to my parents’ generation more than mine right now. It’s been 3 or 4 weeks now and I feel like I live a double life lol I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about. It can get isolating, especially in this situation. I retreat further and further into researching him on YouTube and Pinterest when I can’t talk to others about it and I feel like an addict. But I want to associate him with positivity in my life so I’m trying my hardest not to let this impede my productivity. It can be so hard though. 

    @Decado Yep in my case right now my CO is helping my social anxiety especially when I can escape into his songs and when I’m driving or working. But I agree it can go either way. Usually if it’s someone in my real life it causes stress beyond belief. Is that kind of how you feel? 

    (PS I’m new here and love how understanding and non-judgmental you all are to each other. It made me feel safe to talk about this because I tend to feel weird about talking about it)

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