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Bbqdad

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  1. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from Epictetus in Song Lyrics Thread   
    (Rock kinda vibe)
    “Cuz I’ve been broken 
    Cuz I’ve been broken
    Cuz I’ve been broken
    Since I went away from you.”
     
     
  2. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from Epictetus in Song Lyrics Thread   
    No sounds of Silence.
    No rest, no peace.
    Looking for some answers,
    Looking for release.
    No sounds of Silence.
    No rest, no peace.
    I need a change now,
    Looking to be free.
     
    Finish
    I need a change
    I need a change 
    Looking for some answers.
    Looking for release.
     
    So Please, tell me
    How do I leave me?
     
    How do I leave me.
    ###
  3. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Song Lyrics Thread   
    “She let me call her honey, spent all my money and left me home alone.
    cuz I got the pole jerkin blues”
  4. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from samadhiSheol in Song Lyrics Thread   
    (Rock kinda vibe)
    “Cuz I’ve been broken 
    Cuz I’ve been broken
    Cuz I’ve been broken
    Since I went away from you.”
     
     
  5. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from Sophy in Is everyone broken? Is that just part of being human?   
    Life is hard. Period.
    Having a mental illness filters how we view life. If we are delusional then we perceive everything to be great, even though those around us know something out of kilter.
    That just me.  But then I would be considered not normal. I stopped using the phrase not normal, because it assumes we are all judged by the same measure.
    I instead use the idea of acting natural for you. Meaning you choose the plumb line or measure.  If you think standing on your head is your natural self then stand on your head.  But for me I want to walk on my feet.  We both are pursuing our natural proclivities.
    Am I broken, hell yes. But I wrote a song about it as we speak. "Cuz I'm broken since I went away from you!" I used music as my therapy.  Yes, I am broken but I am dealing with it and accomplishing my goals so I am natural.
     
  6. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from Sophy in What do you do, when you feel triggered?   
    I am currently being triggered into a mild manic state.(BIPOLAR ONE)
      In Alaska it is 24hrs of sunlight now. I am having trouble sleeping, staying up til 2am when natural time is 11:30pm.
    This causes many people to be energized but for me it goes beyond. I start angry dreams invade my head. (PTSD.)
    Some over spending on audio sound recording gear. I needed but I had the fever.
    My fear is that it will explode into psychosis and grandiose thoughts, and babbling. These would make it hard to focus at my job. I have been fired before I crashed and burned. 🔥 
    i am still on my meds: risperidal (psychosis) 2mg, lamotragine (depression) 400mg
    my doctor is aware but says it is natural to have some episodes that are mild. Do what ever makes you sleep. I said I have wild shrub for this condition. She said see her next month or call if it continues  to be without sleep.(PTSD) this causes deep sleep without dreaming.
    on the bright side I am incredibly creative right now, having written two new song lyrics and melody in last 5 days. 
    so I hold my breath.
     
     
  7. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from babyxgothxx in What do you do, when you feel triggered?   
    I am currently being triggered into a mild manic state.(BIPOLAR ONE)
      In Alaska it is 24hrs of sunlight now. I am having trouble sleeping, staying up til 2am when natural time is 11:30pm.
    This causes many people to be energized but for me it goes beyond. I start angry dreams invade my head. (PTSD.)
    Some over spending on audio sound recording gear. I needed but I had the fever.
    My fear is that it will explode into psychosis and grandiose thoughts, and babbling. These would make it hard to focus at my job. I have been fired before I crashed and burned. 🔥 
    i am still on my meds: risperidal (psychosis) 2mg, lamotragine (depression) 400mg
    my doctor is aware but says it is natural to have some episodes that are mild. Do what ever makes you sleep. I said I have wild shrub for this condition. She said see her next month or call if it continues  to be without sleep.(PTSD) this causes deep sleep without dreaming.
    on the bright side I am incredibly creative right now, having written two new song lyrics and melody in last 5 days. 
    so I hold my breath.
     
     
  8. Thanks
    Bbqdad reacted to JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    Indeed. And the fear of the fruitless tomato plant has very successfully been implanted into people's minds.
  9. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    Exactly, and don't forget the prison industries, the civil confiscation of funds from unprosecuted but suspicious of tomatoe transpotation.
  10. Like
    Bbqdad reacted to JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    Excellent! Big pharma hates the fruitless tomato plant of course. It works too well and "anyone" can grow it. Where's the profit in that?
  11. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    I got a new doctor this week and prescription for rispidone and lamotrigine. 
    I told them how I medicate with 🌿 wild shrub or tomato 🍅 plants that don’t grow tomatoes. And they said they wished there was more research but that she supported it and to let her know the effects. 
    Progress
  12. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    You own your own body and have the final say. So it makes sense to share info so a good decision can be made. Also, we have to get over  stigma so we can converse.
    There are other places on web to celebrate herb culture or politics so that shouldn’t be here too polarizing.
    but talking about mental health symptoms and experience seems that this would be the place to do it.
     
  13. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    Me:
    Racing thoughts “slows it down”
    ptsd “no dreams deep sleep”
    depression “elevate mood”
    anxiety “calms”
    but I also take resperidal lamyctal and I cut out alcohol two years ago. These two moderate spikes in mood.
  14. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from ladysmurf in illegal drug?   
    You own your own body and have the final say. So it makes sense to share info so a good decision can be made. Also, we have to get over  stigma so we can converse.
    There are other places on web to celebrate herb culture or politics so that shouldn’t be here too polarizing.
    but talking about mental health symptoms and experience seems that this would be the place to do it.
     
  15. Like
    Bbqdad reacted to samadhiSheol in Song Lyrics Thread   
    Yeah - well - I say what I mean
    I say what comes to my mind
    I never get around to things
    I live a straight - straight line

    You know me - I'm acting dumb
    you know the scene - very humdrum
    boredom - boredom

    I'm living in this movie
    but it doesn't move me
    I'm the man that's waiting for the phone to ring
    Hear it ring-a-ding-a-f***ing-ding

    You know me ...

    You see there's nothing behind me
    I'm already a has-been
    my future ain't what it was
    well I think I know the words that I mean

    You know me ...

    B'dum - b'dum

    I've taken this extravagant journey
    so it seems to me
    I just came from nowhere
    and I'm going straight back there

    You know me ...

    So I'm living in this movie
    but it doesn't move me
    so tell me who are you trying to arouse?
    get your hands out of my trousers

    You know me ... 
    Buzzcocks - Boredom
  16. Like
    Bbqdad reacted to Waffles in Song Lyrics Thread   
    So tired that I couldn't even sleep
    So many secrets I couldn't keep
    Promised myself I wouldn't weep
    One more promise I couldn't keep
    It seems no one can help me now
    I'm in too deep
    There's no way out
    This time I have really led myself astray
    Runaway train never going back
    Wrong way on a one way track
    Seems like I should be getting somewhere
    Somehow I'm neither here nor there
    Can you help me remember how to smile
    Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
    How on earth did I get so jaded
    Life's mystery seems so faded
    I can go where no one else can go
    I know what no one else knows
    Here I am just drownin' in the rain
    With a ticket for a runaway train
    Everything is cut and dry
    Day and night, earth and sky
    Somehow I just don't believe it
    Runaway train never going back
    Wrong way on a one way track
    Seems like I should be getting somewhere
    Somehow I'm neither here nor there
    ........
  17. Like
    Bbqdad reacted to JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    I know we aren't supposed to talk about a natural herbal substance that the government has decided to classify as illegal, but it's the one sure-fire thing that works for me too. I am an alcoholic and the herb keeps me from k i l l ing myself via booze.
    I can function quite well outside of my apartment and deal with people as a result of the herb.
    But, thanks to the lobbying of pharmaceutical and booze companies, the government makes it illegal. Well, F that.
  18. Like
    Bbqdad reacted to JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    I got my wrist slapped once. But for me, if something works, I want to inform others about it.
    It's not addictive like alcohol or opioids, but I suppose a person can become "dependent" on it. Heck, I'm "dependent" on caffeine.
  19. Like
    Bbqdad reacted to ladysmurf in illegal drug?   
    I never tried it before either guys, but my former co-worker and friend who knows about my condition told me to look into it...he uses it when he stressed out at work and he says it helps. I assume if you are taking medications to be careful, ...I'm not taking anything right now...so I am going to look into it....
  20. Like
    Bbqdad got a reaction from JD4010 in illegal drug?   
    Now I just say “garden shrub” but we used to call it a tomato 🍅 plant that didn’t grow tomatoes.
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