TheSunflowerOil

I feel so good! I started therapy today and for the first time in three years i feel, i know, i can do it. I can do it.

Actually when It started I thought about it and I was so hoping (I know it sounds weird to say) i had hypothyroidism, but at the end of all the check ups they found "only" a prolactinoma, which is a benign tumor of the pituitary gland that produces prolactin. After I started the cure It got better, like I don't feel THAT suicidal anymore, and I'm able to cry, after a year not being able to. From the other side, I feel even more tired, I cry all the time, I spend all day in bed but I have problems sleeping, I still having panic attacks, social anxiety and serious problems focusing and remembering things... I've already contacted a psichiatrist but I know it's a long path and I have to stay strong.

Just here to say it, for every time they asked me how I was, why I don't smile, why I sleep too much, why I don't go out, why I'm so silent, and for every time I answered I'm fine, I'm just tired. For every time I said the truth and felt guilty for days for making them share my burden. And even then they can't understan, they never could. So I say it here, where nobody knows me, so I can't feel guilty, and everybody understand how does it feel, so I'll feel less alone: I'm not fine, I've felt like every day in the last three years, and yes, even if I lay in bed until my all body hurts, I'm tired in a way that a normal person can't even start to understand. "Take a walk, find the will, try to smile, you're just a sensible person, you decided to feel this way..." are s***ty advice. They just don't know what it means. I'm sorry for all this nonsense, it's 10 am here and I haven't slept last night, so I'm being a little delirious . Sorry also for any grammatical or syntactic mistake, when I'm tired my english just goes to .