Sorry to sound rude on my first post but I've got social anxiety disorder. I get really scared talking about myself in front of others and online.
I'm female, not young anymore, and have several issues going on.
What the issues are is, I've got depression, as well as asthma, got a child, who I love very much. I'm in a loveless relationship with a man who is father to our daughter but he's not abusive or horrible. He's just become someone like a friend or brother instead of lover. I feel unattractive and dead inside. Everyone is happy, it seems, even those who say that thy're not.
I've not made a single friend on the internet even though I've been using it for many years. I have trouble making friends in real life too. I don't have this connection with people and nobody warms to me or wants to see me.
I've cut off ties with relatives because they all hate me. Whats more upsetting is that they don't care about my child because they don't like me. I've decided to cut loose from toxic people. I also have trouble living day to day as I'm on several medications to help with asthma, blood, depression, cancer treatment and vitamin.
I use Facebook and was recently depressed to see a load of people celebrating Valentines Day. Only my daughter made a card for me and her dad, which was lovely, but my partner doesn't see me as a girlfriend anymore. He treats me as if I was his sister or even less than that. Whenever I try and talk to him, he gets angry and accuses me of "pressuring" him.
I've asked for help on other forums but get a lot of abuse mainly from people accusing me of being a disappointing woman for him. I mean what?
I'm sorry but I'm not a bundle of happiness and I will make this forum full of dreary storms and black clouds. I'm just miserable and unloved.