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Straybeast

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About Straybeast

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    Female
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    uk

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  1. Hi, I'm always told that my weight is too much for my height. Once when my weight was suited for my height was when I had anorexia. I'm not going to be anorexic again just to make people happy. Anorexia is bad isn't it? I used to be so thin and yet my actual weight appeared "normal" according to nurse and doctors. This is because I've always been heavy due to bone and muscle. As a 12 year old thin child I was told that I must eat a load of big dinners to be so heavy. I'm naturally heavy but not fat looking. Its just people are thinking I'm not looking after myself by being "overweight" or too much for my size. Its not fair. That would mean I would have to become anorexic again to meet the requirements.Not fair. When I was suffering anorexia, I looked very thin but men still said that I was "fat". No one seemed worried because I didn't look like a skeleton. I was so thin, my ribs showed and I had a bony face. I suffered low immunity and suffered because of it. Now people think I'm too heavy for my height and want me to go back to being anorexic again. I thought health professionals tried to help people and not encourage them to starve themselves.
  2. Hello, Sorry to sound rude on my first post but I've got social anxiety disorder. I get really scared talking about myself in front of others and online. I'm female, not young anymore, and have several issues going on. What the issues are is, I've got depression, as well as asthma, got a child, who I love very much. I'm in a loveless relationship with a man who is father to our daughter but he's not abusive or horrible. He's just become someone like a friend or brother instead of lover. I feel unattractive and dead inside. Everyone is happy, it seems, even those who say that thy're not. I've not made a single friend on the internet even though I've been using it for many years. I have trouble making friends in real life too. I don't have this connection with people and nobody warms to me or wants to see me. I've cut off ties with relatives because they all hate me. Whats more upsetting is that they don't care about my child because they don't like me. I've decided to cut loose from toxic people. I also have trouble living day to day as I'm on several medications to help with asthma, blood, depression, cancer treatment and vitamin. I use Facebook and was recently depressed to see a load of people celebrating Valentines Day. Only my daughter made a card for me and her dad, which was lovely, but my partner doesn't see me as a girlfriend anymore. He treats me as if I was his sister or even less than that. Whenever I try and talk to him, he gets angry and accuses me of "pressuring" him. I've asked for help on other forums but get a lot of abuse mainly from people accusing me of being a disappointing woman for him. I mean what? I'm sorry but I'm not a bundle of happiness and I will make this forum full of dreary storms and black clouds. I'm just miserable and unloved.
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