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About Blueblood

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    Junior Member
  • Birthday 08/23/1997

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    Cooking plant-based meals and learning more about everything.

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  1. Tired of thinking.
  2. Hi, dude333. I'm really sorry that people have treated you like that. I know what it feels like when people claim to care about you only to leave you high and dry. I've always tried my hardest to be there for my online friends and listened to them when they're unhappy. I've been told that it's appreciated. However, when I was falling apart and calling out for help, they were nowhere to be found. They only spoke to me when my world was free of dark clouds and the sun was shining. "Fair-weather friends", I think that's what the phenomenon is called. Such friends can leave you feeling as if you have to hide in isolation for the rest of your life so that your heart won't have to risk being broken again. Unfortunately, attempting to live life in solitude doesn't come risk-free either. One major risk that increases when leaving socialization behind is the development or worsening of mental health issues. While it's not impossible to live happily on your own (see: solitary Buddhist monks), I want to let you know that there's always an option to press "Retry". There are decent friends in the world who will stand by your side, no matter what. Are they nearly impossible to acquire? Yes, but not entirely impossible. Just look in the mirror. I'm sure that if you found someone who made you care about them, you would be reliable and loyal towards them. Maybe searching for these people seems like more trouble than what it's worth, but, once a friend like that is found, you're highly unlikely to regret the weeks, months or even years you spent fighting for them. Supposed friends can make you hate life and actual friends can make you love life. Don't allow anyone to keep you in the dark about the better parts of life. Take care. P.S. If it wasn't clear in the above text: I don't think that you're to blame for their abandonment. If you disagree and you're actually able to point out a fault with yourself that you believe to have been responsible for the end of these friendships, then I would like to advise you to try your very best to think about how you might go about ridding yourself of that flaw. If you want to, you can meet with a therapist who can help you in figuring it out.
  3. Hello for the first time, somanyninjas! I, too, would like to welcome you to the forums and congratulate you on picking such an awesome username. While I'm sorry to hear that you've had an especially difficult day today and that you've had to suffer both depression as well as anxiety, I'd like to let you know that you're among peers who will treat you with understanding and respect, so don't be afraid of expressing your thoughts. (And don't be afraid of sharing pictures of those adorable kittens! ^_^) Here's to a better tomorrow.
  4. Hello, CassAnn. My name is Jennifer and, if you feel like it, you can always send me a private message by hoovering over my username and clicking "Message". Like you, I've been wronged by many men in my life, and I know how (when they refuse to take responsibility for their actions and/or turn themselves into the victim) you wonder if maybe everything was your fault and maybe the way that they reacted was purely caused by your behavior. "Maybe if I had just done these things differently, it wouldn't have turned out like this". It's logical to conclude that different actions often lead to different outcomes, but, you have to ask yourself a couple of questions before assuming the title of "The Worst Person in the Entire World": If I saw someone else acting the way that I did, would I think that they deserved to feel the guilt that I'm feeling? Would I have told them the things that I'm telling myself in my head? If not, then why am I doing this to myself? If so, then ask yourself the following questions. If I really did something wrong, then how can I make it better? Do I have a time machine which I can use to travel back in time and undo the things that I've done? If not, then can I apologize to someone and, if they deserve the apology, would it make them feel better? How can I learn from this situation so that I may not repeat these mistakes? All of our emotions, including guilt, serve a purpose. We feel guilt in order to alarm us of having violated a moral standard which could lead to our membership of a valued group being retracted and, since we're much less likely to survive on our own in the wilderness, that feeling of guilt can completely consume us. The problem with this is that we don't live in the wilderness, but our brains haven't quite figured that out yet. It's likely the reason for a lot of mental health problems. With this information in mind, we can recognize that our responses aren't always appropriate to the events that unfold in our lives. Sometimes, we have to step out of ourselves and try to look at the situation objectively in order to act rationally. As for where you might find professional help, if you feel like you would like to have that, I'd agree with womanofthelight of how you might go about receiving it. Until next time, take care.
  5. I've just woken up and I'm browsing the forums while listening to a man hysterically laughing at getting to beat a bunch of aliens with a cucumber. He does not come in peace.
  6. Ingredients: 200 g of Tuscan kale 300 g of potatoes 1 onion 2 garlic cloves 1 L of water 2 vegetable stock cubes 2 dl of plant-based crème fraîche 1-2 tbsp of black pepper 2-3 tbsp of nutritional yeast (optional) Instructions: Prepare the ingredients by removing the stems of the Tuscan kale and cutting the leaves up into smaller pieces, peeling the potatoes and cutting them into smaller pieces, and finely chopping up the onions and garlic cloves. Pour enough water into a large pan to cover its bottom and steam the onions and garlic on medium heat for 2 minutes. Throw in the Tuscan kale and the potatoes. Allow the ingredients to cook for 8 more minutes while occasionally stirring them. Pour the (1 L) water and the vegetable stock cubes into the pan. Let the soup simmer for 20 minutes. Insert the plant-based crème fraîche into the pan and use a blender to turn the soup into a smoother mixture. Season the soup with black pepper and nutritional yeast, if desired. Enjoy!
  7. Life is only amazing to us when we feel that it is. Recognizing it on an intellectual level just isn't enough. We have to actually feel the tingling down our spines whenever our lovers look us in the eye as if all the birds in their world would stop chirping once their focus became redirected, we have to feel how our entire bodies fill with the most pleasant of warmth whenever the sun is shining down on us as if we're worthy of its blessing, we have to feel our hearts flutter whenever our peers show their acceptance of us by laughing at our jokes as if they were actually clever and funny, we have to feel like there's something even greater than us beyond our world that has yet to be discovered whenever we lie in the grass and look up towards the burning stars, and we have to feel how every single battle we ever fought was worth it whenever we look down on our children only to see little angels looking back on us with the purest of smiles on their lips as if they knew everything we've gone through and that it's okay to finally let go of our anguish and fears. Many imagine suicide to be the only solution and sometimes even the best solution to our melancholy, but they're wrong. Death does not provide you with any relief. If we're to trust medical science, once your brain stops functioning, your consciousness ceases to exist. You become about as sentient as a rock, which isn't sentient at all. Even if you're a person of faith and believe that there is an afterlife, you cannot be completely certain of it. What you can be certain of is what you're currently experiencing and what you're currently in possession of. The only thing that needs to die is the depression itself; that's how you'll become happy and feel the stuff worth feeling. Depression is a parasite which consumes all of your good memories and future hopes; it then imitates you until everyone, including yourself, believe that depression is all there is to you. Keep fighting it. I promise you that, if you're persistent, there will come a day when you'll be happy that you survived these times of emptiness.
  8. Good day to you and welcome to the forums, Straybeast. We're happy to have you here. I'm truly sorry to hear that you're struggling with your relationships, to other people as well as to yourself. It's an awful thing when our feelings of being underappreciated, unloved and misunderstood are met with even less appreciation, love and understanding once we've gathered the courage to express them. I can, however, assure you that it won't be the case here. We're a compassionate community of peers who can sympathize with battling both depression and anxiety as well as any issues that might accompany them. We even have a forum that specializes in Relationships & Depression. If I may express my thoughts on the matter, based on what you've told us, I'd say that the Valentine's card your daughter gave you is a hint of how much she loves you. Many people with mental health issues find it impossible to raise children, which is understandable, but I commend you for finding the strength and love required to properly care for her. Unfortunately, my romantic ineptitude prevents me from advising you on how you might improve your relationship with your husband. All I'm able to do is to encourage you to keep reaching out to more people on the forums so that you may further express your thoughts on the matter and possibly receive some counseling. I wish you the best of luck in your efforts to better your life. Take care!
  9. Hello, glancedUp! My name is Jennifer and I welcome you to the forum with the utmost warmth in mind. It is a very commendable thing to want to help others with their mental health and we're all highly appreciative of your effort. Hearing that you have overcome suicidal thoughts is truly admirable, because it takes a whole lot of guts to pull through those times of hurt and complete suffering. I wasn't aware of the Korean celebrity who had committed suicide. It really is heartbreaking to hear about someone being pushed to that point. Unfortunately, all we can do with such past events is to try learning from them, and that's one of the forum's main goals. We try our best to let people know about why and how to survive depression and related mental health issues. Thank you for joining and I hope your depression will keep on getting better. We're all here for you.
  10. Yeah, zoedog66's advice for where you can find professional support is a great one. Remember that there will always be people willing to help you if you persistently seek them out. You're not alone. *Hugs*
  11. Heavy heart palpitations .
  12. Happy Birthday! :birthday2:


    A random forum member

  13. As some of you might already know, I've been dealing with a recent loss which has caused me to desperately grasp after anything that even slightly resembles therapy. One of the many things that grabbed my interest was Vipassanā Meditation. This form of meditation requires a tremendous amount of effort by the person meditating. Vipassanā Meditation retreats are located all over the world and can be used by nearly anyone who's interested in practicing the exercise for free. Unfortunately, if you're deemed physically or mentally unfit, your application to these retreats will most likely be rejected for the sake of your own safety. This was the case with me. Still, the practice intrigued me and, while I couldn't recreate the setting required for Vipassanā Meditation, I decided to take inspiration from it. This lead me to avoid oral and written communication with other people for a week in an effort to be more mindful of the origins of my negative thoughts. Unfortunately, I have yet to develop that level of introspection, so I mainly learned about communication. For example, I learned that, despite always having been a quiet person, I truly value my ability to speak. I became highly frustrated nearing the end of the seven days, especially when someone repeatedly misunderstood me. I had to learn how to deal with that frustration as well, and I feel like my temperament has slightly improved since then. On a more concrete level, my desperate need to be understood caused me to teach myself the British Sign Language's alphabet and couple of basic words like "Hello!", "Thanks!", "Yes!", "No!" and "I'm passive-aggresively ignoring you!". So what did it feel like when I began speaking again? Surprisingly, it wasn't relief. Rather, it was disgust at actually acknowledging how my vocal chords vibrate in my throat when I speak. Yuck! What originated from something spiritual made me hyper-focus on my physical reality. Oh, well! Better luck next time, I suppose.
  14. I require green tea with a hint of lemon zest to keep functioning.
  15. Thank you, LeilaNadine, Oscar K, Epictetus, and velvetpuddles for your warm welcomes and kind words of support. Please, know that they're deeply appreciated and that you've already gained my respect for your ability to treat others as you would have them treat you. I'm looking forward to spending time with you all. ^_^
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