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  1. Wondering how you are doing? Did you stick with the 20mg?
  2. You posted a long time ago...what did you do? I tapered off of 10mg daily dose several months ago after taking it for 5months (I think). I tapered and then finally one day just quit as my doctor had always said I could quite cold turkey anyway. I never divided my pills but went every other day for a week, then every 2 days for a week, and then after that I got tired of doing it all and just quit. No horrible withdrawal symptoms. The most obvious were related to digestion which verifies (to me) that SSRIs do effect your digestion (hence, perhaps the weight gain/loss that some experience). How are you doing?
  3. OMG, I totally know how this happened and I'm so entirely disappointed in myself. I don't know if anyone will respond but I'm using this as a moment to get it off my chest. I had this great idea to rotate dinner choices in my family. Two older teens - 1 boy who is the stereotypical kid who prefers junk food 24x7, and we can clash over his insistence of his diet vs. mine. I do almost 100% of the cooking in our home (shopping, preparing, cleanup). Anyway, tonight is my teen boy's night to chose. The only option he came up with yesterday was filet mignon (Really??!?!). I told him we will stick to food in the house as we have a lot. Never got any other answer so I've been spending this morning making something I thought would appeal to him - cheezy hamburger & pepperoni bake on cornbread crust (so he gets hamburgers and pizza all together). I've got a disaster going in the kitchen - bowls, spoons, ingredients. He finally came up for breakfast and I tell him this and he responds with, "no, I told dad I wanted filet mignon and he said we are having that". As though my husband agreed with him and they planned this all out in my absence (was I in bed?). I told my husband what I was making and he saw me this morning, but didn't say anything. I'm so stupidly hurt ---- again. There just doesn't seem to be any end to the slights that are cutting me up. I say something innocuous, and my daughter throws up her hands as though to say, "what's up with you?". I try to explain I'm just commenting and she continues even more to insist I'm upset about whatever I'm commenting on. I make a sound after my husband says something, and he responds with, "What?" in the tone that implies I'm annoyed with whatever he said and he wants to poke at it for me to explain why I'm upset. I try to say I'm not and I just was doing whatever -- I don't even know! -- and he still assumes I'm annoyed and then gets more prickly at me. I've tried expressing to him that I'm so anxiety-ridden right now. I'm unofficially laid off - just not enough work at the place I work. I feel so completely alone. Very few friends and even less reaching out to me, it seems. When I'm upset my husband avoids me like the plague. I tried explaining to him that it makes me feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do. Each person in my family seems to have a purpose - school, work, friends. I float around trying to be a homemaker and I feel it's silly. They can do this themselves, really. Did I mention my eating issues? I'm guessing I'm borderline on the eating disorder. It's all over the board. If I could starve myself, I would, but I'm hungry. I try to eat as little as possible and then I've had moments where I'll stuff the worst crap in my mouth. Then the shame and guilt. HOLY COW! If I reflect back on any one of those times, I can bring on that shame and anxiety instantly. I hate it because I want to seem in control, knowledgeable about food and health, but I want to eat snacks and sweets. I think it's this hidden out of control thing that makes me feel such shame. I want to appear in control or comfortable all the time, but then I do these times where I'm not and I'd hate for anyone to know I can be what I consider to be a person of low integrity or of low esteem. All the memes and funny comments posted about how COVID is making everyone gain weight just puts me on this weird pendulum of feelings. Are people really doing this? Are they ok with it? Is this normal? Or is it like a friend who goes on about her bad eating yet is skinny as can be? Can I just let myself and these unattainable expectations go? Just Be myself and whatever weight that means, or continue this path where I identify myself as the skinny one? When I slide on a pair of jeans or any fitted pair of pants I get such a huge pang of anxiety - will they go up ok? Will they be comfortable? Will I be able to tell I gained weight? Pretty much food is all consuming in my brain and I can't find anything else as enticing to occupy my thoughts. A hobby? motivation to do anything? Not really. What I've been doing is escaping alone to our cabin. This is good and bad. I get anxiety sometimes while alone and then I've got only the emptiness of the cabin and land to try to soothe it, but at least no one is adding to it. Then I feel guilty that I am literally avoiding my family. What will and are they thinking of their mom who just disappears for a days at a time? I get they don't feel they totally need me right now at this stage in their life, but do they need memories of my flakiness? I want to present the loving, caring mom who supports them for their own unique personalities and desires, but I seem to do it one time and then break down the next. I was doing well for a while. I was on prozac and it worked, but then I started to tell it wasn't working as well. The anxiety was popping up and I was worried I was eating more and simply more hungry. I wanted to blame the prozac so I stopped it. Perhaps a dumb idea. Now I wonder if I could try again? Should I? I don't want to. I'd like to find out how to change me without drugs. I know the better me is in there but I can't keep it at the forefront because the anxiety flares up so often. I tried to describe to my husband that he should pretend I have diabetes. It's always there and I have to treat it properly to keep it under control. In my case, being treated as a pariah or not acknowledged for being unwell, can cause my disease to flare up terribly. I feel like a fragile piece of glass with cracks everywhere. Each time something is said that is hurtful to me it's like a hit in one of those cracks and sooner or later I'm simply going to crumble. Did I say enough to express how miserable I am? I started today on a pretty good note. I felt like I was rising out of my last flare up of anxiety. I hate it - it seems to take days to shake an episode and return to me. I do kind of wish there was a pill or something I could do to turn off whatever is in my body causing these feelings. It's simply miserable. It feels so physical - like truly being ill with symptoms that are as real as a fever or congestion, etc... But my husband did just come to me and listened to the dinner problem and he apologized (!!!) about the misunderstanding. He's taking care of that. That helped. Still feel so raw. All right, thanks for reading my thought explosion. Happy thoughts to you all
  4. Yep. Quarantine with our loved ones can be stressful. It's ok to be a loner (introvert or whatever the best term is) and now is a great time to play with new diet/menu ideas - perhaps you can find some inspiration for cooking online. I will send positive thoughts your way
  5. Hi again BrainRot, Let's focus on Day 39. That is so awesome! 4 miles! It's amazing what the outdoors can do. I find even if I can force myself on yucky weather days to get out and breathe in that fresh air even briefly I feel more connected to the earth and content to some degree. That must have been a light-feeling day for you! I hope you got that flutter of happiness at some point that day. Interesting you mentioned shopping or going out in public. I also have/had issues with shopping - such anxiety that I often would just skip it and stay home. In reality, I think it's just the outdoors that help more anyway - at least for me. Seattle - love it! We went to that area in June a number of years ago. Guess what? It rained every day! We had packed all our rain gear and spent so much of our time in the rain. We laughed at ourselves as all the locals didn't even bother with rain gear! I guess you get used to being wet. But, yes, that weather can just be a mirror of our feelings sometimes. Winter months here and the darkness are hard for me. The motivation to get all dressed up and go out into that weather - exhausting! Probably geeky sounding but I love when I do get outside on a really crappy day because it's like I'm saying, "f* you!" to the weather and I win. If I can make a little suggestion without making it sound like I know anything at all - take it one step at a time One bad day, one bad hour, one bad moment doesn't erase a great day or the great 4 mile walk or the shopping trip where you felt, "ok". Those are the races you won and you get to stand on the podium and take in the accolades for that. Plus, you can focus on those memories and rerun them in your brain as often as you like! Hope Day 41 goes more like day 39 even if it's just some moments! And perhaps the rest of Day 40 will have a bit of a shine to it, too. (if only in your mind 'cuz I don't know what the weather is doing in Seattle right now) GutRot
  6. I wanted to share this experience again because this is the only place I talk about aside from my doctor. I made the decision to go off prozac. I felt I had reset my brain to some degree and that I really wanted to try going forward on my own power. For me, Prozac worked - really well! I had feelings of peace, well being, happiness that I hadn't experienced in so long. My relationships within my family improved and that was the most important thing to me. I only used a daily 10mg during this time. My doctor always said I could simply quit taking it cold turkey because of the long half life and low dose I was taking. Of course, there are many other sources that say differently so I decided to wean off it despite what my doctor said. I started weaning on 3/7 going every other day for 1 week. I noticed nothing. Then I did every 2 days. Nothing. Then I went every 3 days but kind of just forgot and stopped as of 3/19. So I ended up rushing through my own plan. It's been 11 days of no medication. Withdrawal symptoms? To my surprise (based on my doctor's insistence) is that I do have some symptoms. The worst is dizziness/vertigo. It's pretty much always there and I've had a couple of really bad bouts. One where I had to have my husband help me to bed. Just had it again now as I turned my head to talk to my husband. The other thing is a digestive issue that I probably don't need to describe except to say you'd think I'm eating lots and lots of fiber. It's been over a week now of the dizziness. Based on what I've read this might last a few weeks. I'm hoping to just get through it. I can't say there is anything else specifically that I've noticed but it makes sense to have these (at least to me). Hoping this might be useful to someone.... Happy feelings to you all!
  7. Hi BrainRot! I often have GutRot so I should consider that as my forum name in the future. I have found that my stomach health does affect my mood/depression which I think I read about somewhere so it seems appropriate... Anyway, I know our cases are different but you do remind me of me to some degree when I started prozac. The first month was a roller coaster but I took comfort in the intermittent moments when I felt the depression lifted and I DID on occasion have a few fleeting feelings of euphoria which I describe as, "everything feels right in that moment". I hadn't had those feelings in so long that I thought I would never again. I gave credit for their return to prozac. It was definitely over a month before I could say there was a consistency to my improved feelings. In my case, not getting that pang of anxiety in my stomach several times a day was the sign I kept reminding myself of. If I did get those anxiety pangs, they were spaced very far apart and I could smother it quickly. I loved the new me (which I think I posted here). I can't say life was perfect or I was walking on clouds all the time, but so much better. So much. I could look forward to the future and (it's hard to even type this next part) not allow myself to go to that place where I felt it might be easier to just be done with this life. That is not a good place to be as I'm sure you know. I stayed on 10mg the whole time. Prozac is so slow to act, and like you, I was so worried about the side effects I was very reluctant to move up if I didn't have to. In reality I had little side effects. Enough to know I was on this med, but not disabling. The worst one was a regular level of dizziness, my balance was just off. I know it can effect everyone differently so my experience may just be my own. I hope you are starting to have those moments of, "better" and that this med works for you. (I'm about to type about going off prozac. I know it might seem odd considering how I just went on and on about it's greatness, but I always thought of this as a reset and I feel, "reset", and ready to try this new me under my own power.) Best Wishes BrainRot! GutRot
  8. I just had to get this out. I haven't told anyone in my "real" life that I'm taking fluoxetine. Only my doctor and I have discussed it. I'm taking 10mg daily and it's been over 4 months. I just have to say, "wow!". I know everyone is different and I was reluctant to try this drug after giving zoloft a very brief try before and definitely having side effects (which I would describe as odd and came on very quickly). Fluoxetine, in retrospect, was much easier on the start up (although I did worry quite a bit during the first month). It probably took a good 4 weeks to say it was doing its job, but boy, is it. Every once in a while, I get hit with how much calmer and less anxious I am. Dealing with situations that would either create anxiety at a level where I couldn't function and/or getting so angry that my reactions were illogical and outrageous. It was, "me then" and the "me now". I like the "me now" so much more. No weird anger or frustration leading to crying jags. Things at home that used to trigger me to lose it, don't anymore. It's a little like looking at things through a filter, but not in a bad way. Just in a calmer, more thoughtful way. I can, though, appreciate the idea that some people say they feel numb on certain meds. This isn't like that. I'm just so happy to feel no regrets at my behavior or reactions. I feel I'm being such a better parent and spouse. I just wanted to say this. Although I do credit a lot to taking fluoxetine, I also did some therapy and other things in my life to combat this. I think this medication lined up at the correct time for me and is effective for me. I have had some moments where I feel anxiety trying to creep in. I work hard to push it out and do find I bounce out of those times more quickly and without all the previous fallout I used to have. A few things I've found that I classify as side effects - I have some dizziness. I always say my balance is bad. I also think it may be the reason I sometimes wake up sweaty at night (I know that's kind of gross, but it is what it is). I run so cold that the idea of getting too warm at night for me is kind of laughable. So when I wake up with that feeling I immediately think, "what the heck???". Lastly, I don't know if this is related to fluoxetine or something else with me, but I feel like my tongue/mouth are always coated with something. I brush a lot - my tongue and all but I can't make it stop. I think this is something new. Weird, I know. Other side effects? Probably, but I'm not really aware what they are. Lastly, I know they recommend no alcohol while on the meds. I've found 1-2 drinks on the light side are no problem. More than that? Exactly what they say in all the articles - It counteracts the effects of the fluoxetine and brings on anxiety that can last a full day. Not worth it - it will make you think fluoxetine doesn't work, but it's just that the two things are doing opposite things. Oh and I mentioned my balance being off - don't add alcohol to that. It's bad. To feel this much better is worth it and I hope it stays for however long I remain on it. I did read an interesting article that said higher doses should not make a difference with this drug. It was a compelling article and reaffirms that I'll stay at this really low dose. I just wanted to share as I don't know where else to do it and perhaps my experience might help others.
  9. Looks like the prozac forum has been pretty quiet lately. I thought I'd post what I learned from my doc in case someone comes along later with this question. My doctor said it was not a problem to take imitrex while taking prozac - at least in my case, although she didn't say that specifically, but I'm just clarifying that she was just responding to my question. She prescribed me 100mg tablets of imitrex which is double what my old prescription was. I was in too much misery at the time to challenge that, but I didn't think I needed 100mg when I know the 50mg worked in the past. I did take a tablet and I could tell when it kicked it (a strange, little bit unpleasant feeling) and it took care of my migraine, thankfully. No issues resulting form that. I'm still on 10mg prozac daily. Hopefully no more migraines....
  10. Here I am again with another question....I'm impatiently waiting for my doctor to get back to me about this and meanwhile I am suffering from a horrible migraine. I've read conflicting information on whether or not I can take imitrex while taking an ssri. Some info says the risk of serotonin syndrome is incredibly low but it is listed as a possible side effect if combining these meds. I had to call in sick to work today and with the headache still holding on I'm worried about tomorrow. On top of that I'm supposed to have a colonoscopy Wednesday and tomorrow is the day I take the prep stuff. I'm worried about that because I've been so sick to my stomach due to the migraine. Anyway, anyone know about this or taken the two meds together? I actually can't find my imitrex and it leads me to believe I may have tossed it a while back probably because it was expired. Wish the doctor would get back to me.... Thanks!
  11. Sailing Soul - I can "feel" your message. My children are much older now, but I recall in great clarity the blues I got after my first baby. I had no idea that would happen and I really knew nothing about anxiety, depression, postpartum stuff. I just slogged through it. In hindsight I had plenty of warning signals as I spent most of the pregnancy convinced I would lose the baby and unworthy of even happily shopping for baby supplies. I could have used LOTS more interaction with other moms and friends. Truly all I needed was to share worries, ask questions, commiserate and simply keep my mind of the incessant and illogical worrying I was doing. Ok, that and for my own mother to help me, but she pretty much left me on my own and rolled her eyes at the idea that I needed to recuperate after going through birth. (Bad feelings there). Anyway, I know it seems impossible but I'd find groups to join, in person or online (I remember I was so active on a site called, "babycenter"). Check through your local community ed or mommy and me classes. Make up any reason to be around or communicating with people. Even if it's not baby related. Even if the people you start interacting with begin as strangers the idea is you are just using them (I meant that in a positive way!) to help you, and if you are lucky, you might find one or two that you click with and perhaps a friendship will evolve. I have one person I somehow did that with - we met online and have been long-distance friends now for over 20 years! I still struggle with what you are saying - the idea of having some people readily available to talk to or do stuff with has never come easy. It's required a fair amount of energy and steeling myself to reach out and make things happen. Some people just come by that so naturally. I wish you the best of luck and happy thoughts. I wish I could say it will be all roses and sunshine. Allow yourself to know that the highs and lows are part of the ride you will take. Figure out how to reward yourself when you push through a hard time and your baby is well cared for despite you not feeling elated all the time. A good book? Netflix series to binge watch? You are not alone - truly. Best wishes...
  12. I'm fine, thanks! ...but I think I confused a few of you. I haven't stopped taking prozac. I'm taking 10mg a day and it's been just over 4 weeks now. The one goofy day of heart palpitations and a headache did not repeat itself, but I do think it may have been due to the caffeine. I'm just being quite careful on when and how much coffee I allow myself. I've had my heart checked out in the past so I do know that I'm experiencing heart palpitations, but I don't tend to get them as often as I used to now that I'm older. They are annoying, and a little disconcerting if they are happening a lot which is what I experienced the other day. I'm waiting for my next appointment on 11/11 to see if my doctor suggests any changes to the dosage..
  13. I do have a message off to my doctor about this, but because it's Sunday, I'm sure it will be at least late Monday before I hear back. I noticed sometime last week that I had a slight headache. I also noticed in the last few days that I was experiencing heart palpitations. Yesterday, I had both and it was distracting. I didn't feel right overall (perhaps in part anxious about these side effects). I've hit the 3 week mark for taking this medications and these are the first concrete side effects I can truly say I've experienced. I think the headache might not be uncommon as I've seen others mention that. Any thoughts on the heart palpitations? Interestingly, about 4 hours after taking the pill I felt the feelings (palpitations, and the odd "not right" feeling) disappear and I was fine after that. I did have a cup of coffee yesterday and wonder if the caffeine added to this. I don't have coffee everyday and plan to skip it today and see how it goes. Thanks!
  14. So.....3 weeks today. I’ve been getting a headache and heart palpitations for the last 2-3 days. Today it was quite disconcerting but the palpitations seemed to stop maybe 4-5 hours after I took my pill. I plan to take it tomorrow and contact my doctor Monday. Is this possible that I’d get side effects now? A little worried about tomorrow .. wish it wasn’t a Sunday
  15. Thanks Starsea, I'm not planning to go off it at this point, but am gathering info just so I can better understand what I'm getting into. I'm over two weeks now and still doing well. I can say with certainty I've had less anxiety recently. Whether this is in part due to prozac or my own personal efforts to control my thoughts, I can't rightly say. It is a good thing, though. I had one bad episode this past Sunday and almost fell into the hole this morning. Somehow I got out of it and I was so happy! One odd thing I've noticed that tells me the drug is in my system is the effect of coffee and prozac together. I don't drink coffee on a regular basis so the 2 times I did in the last week sent me flying with energy and a bit of a rush. Very unlike what I normally experience with a cup of coffee. Anyway, at this point I'm hopeful - again, a sign towards the positive for me!
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