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GoodBuddy

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  1. GoodBuddy

    feeling great

    That is awesome, david !!! That calls for a celebration, and I hope that you meet people there who can become your friends and supporters. Super.
  2. GoodBuddy

    Barely holding on

    Hi david, Keep hanging in there, man. It is five more days to Dec 11. I said last time “In the meantime is there someone who can be with you and help you in some way? It will help if there is someone with you in such a critical time.” And then right now you said that you had this idea of joining church. Here is what you can do. Find the phone no of a nearby church, then consider calling them and ask for a visit from the pastor. Tell him that you need help and you are unable to do certain things. If they come to you, they will probably be able to help you.
  3. GoodBuddy

    bi polar out of control

    Hi david, Hang in there, man. I am sorry for what you are going through. It must be really hard. Dec 11 is a long wait. Is this the same doctor who prescribed your meds? Maybe you need a different one or a stronger one. In the meantime is there someone who can be with you and help you in some way? It will help if there is someone with you in such a critical time. Please do not be offended but consider getting help on how to cut back the dependency on cannabis which might be helping you for the short term but not for the long run.
  4. GoodBuddy

    im in hell

    Hi david, Let me get this right. So you have medical permission to use cannabis, which is legal in grand rapids but you work somewhere else where they are against it? If you are performing well enough in your job they have no reason to let you go. But if you end up losing your job, you can use a computer in the library. You can store your resume in a thumb drive but if you do not have any write your resume then email it to yourself so that you have a copy. There are also many government agencies that can advise you regarding jobs.
  5. Hi notamammal, There is a radio ministry called New Life Live with Steve Arterburn. You can call in your question and ask some advice. They have a lot of counseling resources. Although it is a faith-based ministry do not let this keep you from seeking them for proven professional advice. They can help you a lot more than randomly searching the internet or forums. This is a good starting point and I hope that you will at least check it out.
  6. GoodBuddy

    What should I do?

    I am really sorry for your depression, alxdx. It really is hard. I can see, however, that there are a lot of things going for you. You have a great career, a job in a big company, probably good income. You really have no problem relating to people because you can talk to people. You are just shy and introverted but these are not really liabilities. These are part of who you are. To other people, these are actually strengths because these allow them to focus, be introspective and even become deep thinkers. For now, it seems that insecurity is a hurdle for you and because you want to please everyone, it puts a lot of pressure on you to deliver. But we are humans and failure is part of life. So, for now, it might be hard to develop friendships or romantic relationships because you will feel bad when you don’t meet their expectations. Would you consider going to a local church and ask a pastor to help you and while you are there you might meet people who are down to earth and will love you for who you are. This might be worth a try and it might help you not only get used to mingling longer but even develop lasting friendships and who knows even a romantic one.
  7. GoodBuddy

    About to hit rock bottom mentally...again!

    May I add that this is not to replace medical help but just to help you have hope for a better future.
  8. GoodBuddy

    About to hit rock bottom mentally...again!

    Hi gvn2fly, Very sorry for what you are going through. That is tough. Please don’t do it because if you do then that is the end, you are gone and it will devastate your family. Maybe its time to try something else. Would you consider going to a local church and talking to a pastor? A lot of people don’t like this because we have been swamped with negative ideas about church and religious people but I have seen people turn around with the help of pastors and church volunteers who welcomed and loved them. A pastor might help you realize that you have a lot of value as a human being and help you fight on. In some churches they have volunteers who are actually professionals and here they can hug people, something they cannot do at the clinic. I do hope that you reach out, and I hope that this time it helps you.
  9. GoodBuddy

    Depressed but afraid of dying

    Hi Maxx55, I replied to your post in March. Try your best not to be depressed with the lack of offspring and female companionship. Take it slowly and work on these one at a time. If you suddenly have a new job, a new girlfriend or wife and kids, you will be overwhelmed and now you have different problems. Please don’t be offended, that’s just a scenario and I hope that it gives you some perspective. Everyone dies, that’s true, but people enjoy their lives and what they have differently. Some people die at middle age but have had a good life that they enjoyed while others are miserable until they are old and gray. The point here is that you can choose to enjoy life. There are millions of people all over the world who do not even food for days. Give them a morsel and they are happy. But if they see how people in other parts of the world throw away good food, that could depress them. If you have a job and you think that you deserve better, just enjoy doing your job. If you can do that, then you have already achieved something, without even changing jobs. You can relax a bit, take vacations, and maybe meet someone. If you keep yourself healthy, enjoy life, able to laugh and not miserable, someone is likely to notice you and want to know you. It seems that you have a certain definition of what is a normal person of your age. If you don’t fit that image, it is stressing you out. You are not weird or strange. If what people say influences your thinking, ignore those thoughts. You have to learn to just love who you are and enjoy life instead of trying to fit your life in a box. Step out of the box and see what happens.
  10. I agree, it would be best to give her the space that she is asking for. It does makes you understandably anxious because you want to know what’s going on and if you can help and support her. What you can do is prepare for the day when she is ready to get back where you left. She might want to get away for a weekend, so set aside some money. Keep yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally healthy.
  11. GoodBuddy

    Complicated Bereavement Disorder

    Hi darkling, I am sorry about what you are going through. That is very debilitating. Do you have any relatives or friends who can stay alongside you and make up for the vacuum that you feel right now? I hope you have considered going to counseling and also talking to a pastor from a church nearby. You might need someone to help you grieve until you are able to let go because her absence needs to be slowly replaced by someone or something like an activity or something that occupies your mind.
  12. Hi j_Eliz, It seems that you are depressed and I agree with kstours that you will benefit from seeing a counselor or medical professional, if you haven’t done so. But I cant help but be impressed that you inspire people and motivate them, you have a $100 k job, nice everything and start a business. These are things many people just dream of or never even dream of. It seems to me that everything is anchored with your agoraphobia which is very treatable. So I hope that you would get help from medically trained people. Hope things get better.
  13. GoodBuddy

    i have no reason or will to live. goodbye

    Hi Logan Sims, I am sorry for what you are going through. Taking your life is never the answer. Once you do it that’s it. You will truly be nothing. You will never know if there is something good in store for you somewhere out there in the future. You need to hang on tight and see what that is. When you say that you have “no true purpose, no real meaning, worthless,” that is all just the vicious lies you get from the people who do not appreciate you and just thrash you. These are lies that you should not listen to and should block out. Don’t let others ruin your life. Your value does not come from them. Your true value comes from your respect for yourself. If you even believe in God, your value truly comes from God. Consider going to a church and talking to a trained pastor who can help you see your value as a person.
  14. GoodBuddy

    Messy situation

    Hello Lostsomething, I am sorry for you going through this crisis. I have been in family squabbles but not similar to this. I think Sophy has very good points. The only thing I can add is you need to choose first (in your mind) who you want to lean more towards because if everything goes ugly, you will be forced to pick one side. And you are an adult now, if you are happy with your girlfriend and it has been three years, you have to decide if you want to be with her. If you will end up siding with your mother, you will lose her and you might never find someone like her and the same situation might come up with all other gfs. This is important because if everyone is in the room and asks you to decide, your mind should have been made up before that scenario comes, or else you might impulsively say something and regret it later. The next step is try to get into the bottom of this and talk to them individually, your gf, then your mom, and then your aunt. Try to get the timeline of events and there will be accusations and twisting of accounts. You need to clear up which parts are true and which ones are not. Just get a picture of the situation that you will present to them later in a calm manner and identify points where you can say, “maybe you shouldn’t have said that.” People always justify their actions based on the action to them such as “she said I am … so I called her …” or “she started it, it wasn’t me.” So what you will want to do is just try to roll back the events and show them eventually they might agree to apologize to each other and patch things up. And here is a website where I read a lot of advice from https://list.ly/list/1Fis-navigating-those-interesting-in-law-relationships. Even though you are not married yet, the dynamics are very similar.
  15. GoodBuddy

    Finding Improvement

    Hi Logan Sims, I am sorry about your nightmares. It is hard but if you think of it, it is better to enjoy your life instead of worrying about something that might never happen. As an old saying goes, enjoy it while it lasts because when it is your time it is your time. You can try to replace these thoughts by recalling good experiences or thinking about a nice future. When you try to memorize a poem or a song or even bible verses, your mind dwells on it. The opposite of that is worrying. Your mind dwells on what you worry about. I hope this helps a bit.
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