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  1. In about 8 hours i will be gone in a one week trip. And she told me yesterday that we gonna see eachother today and talk and . She sended a message at about 4 pm saying she isnt coming anymire cause she is going out with someone else. On my last day in this ****ing city she can't even see me. Then at 10 pm she told me she is at my house and we could see eachother. We saw eachother and guess what. My friend was also there and he puted his hand in her hips then down to her ass. Right next to me. At least this time she didnt lied saying take off your hand or something like the other times we stood for about half an hour then she went home. She probably just wanted to see my friend. Like if she really cares about me and misses me she could have gone out with me today and tommorow with her friends. I can't just ignore her. I tried doing it for a day and ended up crying. The most we have gone without talking is 3 days. And i am just about to break that record to more than a week i hope. I really cant stand it anymore. She rarely talks to my friends and still dies this with him and nit with me. I have done everything i could for her to be happy. Its time to put myself first place, not her. She just tolded me i dont have any chance with her and she dosent fell the same about me as she does with my friend. And she cant just do it with me. It's really toxic you are right
  2. So i started to talk to a shrink. I feel a lot better. It made me realize i am a nice guy and i need to change and that she is not worth my while and i told her how i feel about here now and she said she dosnet want anyone in her life right now and i will be going in a trip for about 2 weeks so i can forget about her and everything. Things are starting to look good and he made me realize she is not worth all the crying drinking and hating myself.
  3. Yeah you are right. I mostly hope she will realize. I want her. With all my soul. I would give anything for her. I loved her but i just wanted her to be happy while i cried.
  4. Yeah well about an hour ago she comed at my house. With 6 of my friends. We played truth or dare cause we got bored and kinda drunk. And she kissed everyone in the room except me. She refuzed to kiss me. I told them i need to go see a friend and i am outside on a bench crying. But i did what i wanted. I told her the truth. I told her he cheated on her. I told her everything he did. How he lied to her saying he cant come see her cause he is at the dentist. And more lies. But he was ****ing other girls as he wrote that. She got passed him i hope and now that i did this, that i was close to her at her worst point is there any point in maintaining our friendship?
  5. Update: they actually broke up. He dosen't feel a thing for her anymore. But as my luck has it she still loves him. He told her he dosent wanna ever talk to her, he changed his insta bio to **** you and your expectations and he told her he thought their relation will be unbreakable but whatever. So he is pretty much just making fun of her and dosent care about her. While she still loves him. After all of that. She is crying so much. I cant stand it. She said she dosent care about anything other than him and that if he would have cheated on her she would stil forgive him. She wants him back. She cant get over their breakup. What can i say to her? I really hate seeing her like this. She wants something imposibile and it hurts her even more, she wants someone who dosent want her. But i do want her and she dosent want me. Well i guess the only thing that matters is that she is happy. Not by my side tho. What i need to make her get over everything. She just loves him so much. And he dosent give a about her. So i need some advice. Like a lot of advice of what i can tell her. Or what am i supposed to do. In about 15 hours she will come to my house so i have the chance to talk to her privatly. What can i say? I really need you help man. I feel like . She keeps telling me how much she loves him. He posted a depressive pic and she just went omg i hope he dosent do anything. While my wrists are sleshed and she dosent even care which makes me feel like i am worthless to her.
  6. It's more than rough for me. It's horrible. It got me into severe depression. And suicidal thoughts.
  7. It's not a love triangle. It's more a depression triangle. I feel so bad after everything she did.
  8. Where should i start? Well in my classroom there was this girl. Her name is Bianca. And i kinda had a crush on her. I think the first time we met we were around 18. I did not spoke to her or anything, i just admired her from distance. Until idk how we started to speak. Small talk. And soon enough i founded out she had a crush on my bff, his name is Alex. That's when i did something that sucked me into depression and pill abuse. I spoke to alex. I spoke to her. And because of me they are together to this day. I sacrificed my own happiness for their happiness. I watched them kissing eachother, loving eachother, and i used to go out with just them out a lot so it got even worse seeing them daily. But i pretended i was happy. When they first argued, and broke up, i again spoke to both and made them get back together, while i could have just leave thwm as they are and profit, being there next to bianca comforting he, who knows? Btw i didnt told you that in the meantime i became bff with bianca, or at least thats what she said we are, she used to tell me how important i am, how much she loved me, and i used to buy her things. Expensive things, but she did bought me from time to time some food or things like that. We used to speak about anything. Until she connected on my phone on her facebook account. And remained logged in. Of course i looked. And what i saw made me abuse pills, i simply was in so much pain that i had to get high all the time. She told her bff about me and that i am bi. Her actual bff, not me, i am nothing to her, but i realized that too late. And he told her i am cancer just cause i am bi. And she adore his ****ing message. A true friend would say something about it. A true friend would say i am not cancer and hold my part. I confronted her. We argued a bit. If i tell her just his name which is Tibi, we get into a fight, and she always takes his part even though i havent done anything to him that deserves so much hate. Then almost a year later i forgave her, we were bff agains and like that. Until my birthday. So about 2 weeks before my birthday i observed she ignores me. Not one text, not one call, nothing and we used to speak until 5 in the morning. Thats when i did it again. I went into her account. She had a fight with tibi and thats why i was her bff again and we got along super fine till they started to speak and see eachother again. I loved bianca. More than anything. I would had given my life for her. We were the same person pretty much and had soooo many things in common from movies too songs. When they started speaking again she ignored me. I felt the third option, just a throw-away. When she went to get me my present ( she used to tell me she would give me somethingbthat is about 400$ and ended up giving me 50$. Yeah. 50 ****ing dollars and the restaurant bill was more expensive than that) one of my closest friend asked her if she will go out with him to look for a gift. She said no. Thats because she went with tibi. She went with someone who hates me. Then i asked her if i can go out with her and Alex and she was the first that used to invite me. She said ok as along as i have fun and dont feel thw third wheel. I didnt wanted to go out with them i just wanted to see if she does something cause originally she was supposed to go with tibi and alex to the zoo which is kinda messed up like she takes her bff to her date but whatever. And she does send him an ss saying i am pi**ing her off. *** i asked her if its ok with her and if she wants to be alone with him its ok. Then she asked alex if its ok if i come and as i said alex is my bff so of course he said yes. She again sended him an ss saying: **** i hoped i was gonna get rid of him. So she wants to get rid of me then she sends me messages to tell me how much she loves me and how much i mean to her. That was the breaking point. I did so much for her. All the breakups and fights i reconcilled and every bit of myself loved her. I looked at the media gallery. Saw even more ss. Some of them with me and some with alex. One in which she ss the conversation where she was speaking about my bday with alex and he said he cant make it. I never invited alex. She autoinvited him. Tho i was gonna invite him. But why tf she would send those ss to tibi if he dosent have anything to do with me or alex. She tolf him every personal thing and i lost any ****ing trust. And then depression came. I told alex everything yesterday and he said he will break up with her and for good this time. So i expect the call any minute from her to tell me they broke up in the hopes i talk to alex and get them back toghether but i am done being her slave and 3 option. She got rid of me for good
  9. You've literally made my day. Thanks a lot. I got passed everything, and she dosen't anymore for me. There might be someone else that will love me for who i am. And if i die alone, i have nothing against it. The therapist helped a lot. But i am kinda ashamed of it, and what people might think if they knew.
  10. Yeah. So after some evaluation i went to the therapist. 2 weeks ago was my first time. And guess what i learned today? She got a.....boyfriend of courseeee. I feel happy for her. As long as she is happy i am happy. But damn depressed. I have been crying for hours an mix of tears of joy and sadness. Thanks a lot for all the support. In special to Bea. It helped a lot. All of you helped a lot.
  11. Thanks for all the advices guys. I am feeling a lot better now thanks to you. She dosen't exist anymore at least for me.
  12. No,no your advice was good. I still feel horrible. So yeah, i met up with her, gave her a small gift, and taken her to starbucks. I told her how much she meant to me, and how she made me feel. I told her i was feeling heavenly while she was around and i felt i couldn't live anymore when she leaves. I told her a bunch of things. And i told her i am not really sure if i can keep this up, because of her i was happy and suicidal at the same time. My mind felt like it was exploding, words just coming out of my mouth. So i kinda think we kind of agreed not to talk or see anymore. I am not sure if i have done the right thing. But i think i did. Still i can't feel anything else than pain.
  13. I told her how i feel. I cuted her out of my heart, my soul, and my life. I can't feel anything except pain, suffering, regret. I am not sure what to do. I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I am not sure what to say, my mind feels like a cloud. I need help. I need happiness
  14. Hello again all. So the date is this friday. If it gets cancelled post poned or something i will update. In the mean time instead of saying how i feel i think it's easier to draw, even if i am bad at it. Don't ask me why or something. I actually got pretty nervous and at first i wanted to throw them away. But idk, i suppose i just need support and approval. I feel bad for posting this on here for some reason, probably cause i am bad at drawing. And i hate myself for doing this, but i need some kind of support
  15. Late is better than never. I landed a date kind of ( not really a date. Just more a meeting under a cup of coffe) and i will try my best to lay out what i feel about her. The feelings increases in intensity each day. It got to the point where i harmed myself. I am not proud of it. I hate actually. But it is the only way to feel anything else. I have gotten her like a nice gift and all. I just hope i have the courage to tell her. In the meantime i learned some things about her cause she opened up to me. She was in a relationship with a guy. They broke up. She came back to him, cause she loved him. He said they should get back together only so he can hurt her by cheating on her. She went into depression and stayed there some time. She also told me she has some weird fetishes with pain. I am not sure why. I really need advice how to approach her, because the last thing i want is to make her feel bad. I'd rather die than making her feel bad. So she has some trust issues and is very carefull with people. Today she said she wanted to kiss me after talking and making some compliments.Probably in a friendly way. She also said she cares about me. It is the first time someone actually cares about me. And i actually kind of asked what she would think about a relationship about 2 weeks ago, and forgot to told ya. She said that given time, why not be with me. But i suppose we gotten a lot more close in the last couple of weeks. She recently founded out that her bff was talking behind her back. So i am afraid of everything i say now. So i really need advice on how to approach her
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