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lowenBhold

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  1. Very interesting. and I agree on the asking girl friends, thus I've never done it.
  2. Well said. Two very good points. I quit going to church because of your second. The worst for me was people suspecting that I might be the things you mentioned and add pedophile to that list; that being the worst of accusations in my book. I ended up joining a group that actively fights against child abuse. It has been the best thing I've ever done. I still deal with much of the stigma of being a 43 year old always single man, but having a real and honorable purpose to work for makes it a little easier to deal with. About your first point. I often wonder about this. I think things like; Is there something about the way I act or look that turns people off? I wish someone would tell me what that is. Maybe I could fix it. Is it something I can even control? I've even thought about asking some girl friends for advise. (friends that are girls. I don't really have any ex's) Thanks for your reply and thanks to everyone else who replied as well. All great posts and encouraging to me.
  3. Loneliness is a Biotch. It never leaves even in the midst of thousands. Loneliness doesn't care about acquaintances or even brother and sisterhood. It only craves special attention; an affectionate touch, being someone's top priority, being their special someone. Loneliness thrives in crowds of people as it can easily point out what you don't have but desperately desire. You can beat it back somewhat by serving other people. I highly recommend it, though sometimes allowing the good in that to soak in can be tough. "I wish someone cared for me......." It's a fight between being self absorbed and making sure you're taking care of yourself. Should I feel bad about feeling bad and wishing I didn't? I wish. I wish often. What would it be like to be sick with the flu and have someone that would go get medicine and heat up some soup for me? What would it be like to have a person in my life who gives two s***s about how I slept last night?......to have someone to kiss and hug....someone to share life with..... I try. I battle daily. I volunteer, I work out, I try to help my friends and family as much as I possibly can. I'm a million miles away from anything close to perfect, but I try. I've come to the conclusion that the purpose of my life is to battle loneliness, be it my own or someone else's. Honestly can' say it's a battle I really care for. It feels unending, like fighting for an outcome that is an impossibility. And so that's the issue. Does any of it even matter? Thanks for letting me vent.
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