after nearly a lifetime of physical and mental abuse I am very depressed. also I am in physical pain almost constantly my husband is so sick of it and alot of times says im lying and that im just lazy. Im not a very good homemaker I no longer enjoy sex(most of the time) I did think i was a good cook but now im not so sure. ever since we had a friend over for dinner and the friend complimented my cooking and my husband scoffed loudly and said that if he ever ate his cooking that he"d never eat mine again. This is just the tip of the iceburg.
he has been physically abusive for most of our relationship and psychologically abusive for all of it.
that being said he has been working on it he used to hit me almost weekly. and now about every 6 months like today he hits me chokes me spits in my face over and over and over telling me what a piece of i am and saying im a demon. the spitting is the worst
he says that he isnt a vioent mean person and Its my fault because I bring that out in him and I believe him.
what can I do too be better? and be good enough for him