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About batpig

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  • Birthday 04/09/1998

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  1. Hi everyone! Just wanted to see if anyone out there is potentially going through a similar thing. I was the happiest girl in the world all throughout high-school and my early teenage years, then when I was 16 I got diagnosed with 2 chronic illnesses - systemic lupus and another lesser known illness that I'm not really comfortable sharing with the world. Both of these conditions are lifelong and the best case scenario is that they get kept 'under control' with constant medication which hasn't worked in the nearly 4 years since my diagnosis. I feel like I've tried every medication and every natural therapy and yet, both conditions being progressive in nature, have only gotten worse over time. I am absolutely terrified of the thought of them continuously getting worse as I grow older and never going away as they have already taken such a severe toll on my life in such a short time. I have become extremely depressed in these last few years. They have stopped me from doing everything I enjoy, made me drop out of high school in Year 12, I was unable to do any further study, I had to quit my job, I have zero self-confidence, I can't go out anywhere, I can't go out in the sun, I can't afford anything but food and petrol etc etc. It has left me in such a horrible headspace that I can't even find the energy to go out and try any new medications because it's just such a big task that has already failed so many times and I get so overwhelmed every time I think about having to continue living like this for another 60ish years. I also am so stressed about all of this that I hardly ever sleep more than a few hours. Going out of the house is really difficult - pretty much the only time I go out is to go grocery shopping - so I have a non existent social life. I have no support from my family either so it's getting pretty lonely keeping all of this inside my head too. Sorry for the long post - any advice/similiar stories/anything appreciated. Thanks for letting me get it out!!
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