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About SpeSalvi

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    Psychology, Philosophy, Religion, Science

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495 profile views
  1. SpeSalvi

    Alone an in pain. I want to live

    Hi and welcome to the forum.I am so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I can relate to what you are saying about being alone and feeling the angst of it. And it is brutal, but what had helped me is talk therapy and meds, also learning social skills had made me more confident of my self. Still I am no were near where I would like to be but I had made progress. I suggest looking for a therapist if you are not doing so, it can really help. I disagree most women don't care much about looks.
  2. SpeSalvi

    Completely broken.

    See it this way, he isn't worth your time, a dude that acts like that isn't worth anybody's time. You are much more worthy than pursuing somebody who can't appreciate you, if he doesn't want to be with you his loss not yours. You deserve much better and not a guy who doesn't care about you.
  3. SpeSalvi

    Completely broken.

    Hi, I am sorry you are going thru this. Like most of us here I have been there too and I can tell you the pain will go away. When I am on those kind of situations I always remind my self of a quote that goes "and this too shall pass". It reminds me that no matter how hard things are they eventually pass, we need to just hold on patiently.
  4. SpeSalvi

    What should I do?

    Hi Alxdx, welcome to DF. Reading your post reminds me a lot of me. I suffer from social anxiety disorder, never had a girlfriend and I tend to be a loner. Also suffer from depression and some other things. Well my advice is to seek for psychotherapy, if you aren't seeing someone already. Living a lonely life can be real tough but there are ways you can crawl out of your isolation, and that is therapy and a lot of willpower. Maybe when you get a gf or more friends you will see there is no need for meds any longer. I always thought meds are like training wheels for some of us. So I don't think you necessarily need the meds to feel better, try making small changes in your life and you eventually get there, step by step. Hope my message is useful in some way.
  5. SpeSalvi

    What is wrong with me

    Hi Lili and welcome to DF, I am sorry for your struggles. Although I am not a professional on the field it sounds like you are experiencing some kind of intrusive thoughts, they are quite common in people with PTSD. I have them and its like another "me" thinking weird disgusting stuff that I can't control. Good news is that it is treatable. Regarding your feeling of dreaming someone else dream, it sounds like depersonalization and it is common in people with anxiety. Hope you get well soon
  6. SpeSalvi

    Pretty long story

    Hi, I just read it all, I just have to say I am sorry you got involve in a situation like this and its pretty good you talked to a therapist. I agree she is not worth your time, ignore her and you will see how desperate she will try to call your attention, but don't fall for it. She is a toxic person not worth it.
  7. SpeSalvi

    Could I be Depressed?

    Hi, I am sorry your are feeling like this. Like you just said this isn't a diagnose nor anything like that but it sounds like Anhedonia to me. Anhedonia is a symptom of depression, and that feeling of being disconnected might be depersonalization which also occurs during depression. You say that you feel ok when shocking and unpleasant things happened, I can relate to that. When I am depressed and going thru similar phase of not feeling or caring about anything, when shocking things happen, like jump scares, I feel alive again. So it does sound like depression to me, I suggest visiting a therapist or a doctor so you can get a diagnose. There are ways to make you feel better I hope you find them.
  8. Hi, I am sorry you are suffering from this thoughts. It sounds like body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) but in no way I am a mental health professional nor this is a diagnose. I suggest getting checked by a psychiatrist o therapist with experience on OCD because BDD falls into the spectrum. I don't know it helps but the way I battle my intrusive thought OCD, that may be the same way to battle BDD, is to let those thoughts flow, don't battle them, hear them and don't resist. Then label those thoughts as irrational/noise/trash any way you like it. Resist checking on the mirror and when you do let the thoughts flow. I hope it helps in some way.
  9. SpeSalvi

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Same here, times keeps on but it never waits for me. I feel so alone.
  10. I am thankful for my parents and siblings, they are always there for me despite my constant bad mood. Also thankful for my friends (sometimes they bug me) and my therapist. And of course I am thankful for this forum, I appreciate the fact that people in here, total strangers, have the courage and good heart to face their own terrible problems and at the same time take their energy to help others. That is truly remarkable and I am grateful for that.
  11. SpeSalvi

    Destined to be single forever

    Nobody borns happy, moreover the act of birth is painful, our lives begin with a pain. But in no way your past determines your future. "Where there is a will there is a way" an old English saying.
  12. SpeSalvi

    Rock Bottom

    Thank you for your responses, I am a little better today, it is just the shock of hearing a diagnose and the feeling of helplessness that comes with it. I will check the subreddit to see what advices may come handy. Thanks again
  13. SpeSalvi

    Rock Bottom

    Hi everybody, currently I am having a really bad time. I have been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. This is new for me, I never imagined I had a personality disorder and I am very scared that I could never find a way to cope with it. I feel that this is it, my demise, I won't find a way to beat it and the only way now is to resign all my hopes and dreams and accept my fate. I don't know how is it possible to change my destructive behaviors, I just can't. If anybody has any advice it will be greatly appreciated.
  14. SpeSalvi

    Please Read

    Thanks for those kind words it helps a lot. Cheers
  15. They will come back, I tell you from experience. Now remember to let the thoughts flow don't resist, let them be