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oceanMelody

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About oceanMelody

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  1. oceanMelody

    Cursed With Bad Luck

    Midnightdaze, Im glad you found a solution in prayer and faith, But I can say that didnt help me. Throughout my life, I've prayed, had faith, wanting and wishing that God helps me. Nothing changed. It is frustrating and I've asked him many times why, why me, what do I have to learn to break this... I was practising positive thinking, believing that life will change for better. That I will experience luck, that I will finally succeed at something I'm trying for years, decades....nothing.... Like OutInTheWoods said- it challenges beliefs that you have. But I made it till here, I refuse to surrender, hopefully one day I will find a solution and break this- until that day I will try and do my best
  2. oceanMelody

    Cursed With Bad Luck

    OutInTheWoods I did exactly the same thing. Searching for 'cursed with bad luck' and found this. You have a soul sister here. And thank you Lonesome Cowboy for starting this topic. Its such a release on one hand to know that you are not alone in this. I really always thought I was. Im female, 33 years old and the bad luck thing started even before I was born. And continued till this day. A doctor at the birth, assumed my mom will give birth no problem and went to sleep (it was sunday). Of course she didnt, we almost died but there was another doctor there and saw the situation and save us. My second 'near to death' experience was when I was 8 months old. I had to have a surgery, it took me 5 hours to wake up. Doctors thought I was dead. I survived. My third experience was when i was 5. My nanny at the time gave me a candy and I started choking. One of our neighbour saved my life the last minute. Cuz of the surgery at such a young age I had difficulties at walking n motoric skills. My classmates in elementary school were rejecting me when we had P.E, didnt want me in their team etc. I was feeling awful but I survived that. In highschool I had a little break from bad luck all the time. I even fell in love in my last year. After a year we got engaged, 2 months after he found out he has stage 4 cancer that spread to his vital organs. Few months later, he died. In the same year I found out I wasnt accepted to college I always wanted. my mom lost her job and was diagnosed with RA. She nearly died once. So I started dating again- men I've been meeting- weirdos, cheaters, liers,.... I had my heart broken so many times- all in still dating stage. So I never had a proper relationship since my ex fiancee. It all ends even before it starts. Even when it starts to look good, something will happen and he will dissapear. Always. Other areas in my life- I have 2 years of work experience (by some miracle). Im sending applications, calling people if they offer a job- nothing. I studied Education, speak 6 languages, have relatives abroad (im living in Europe) whom I also asked for help- they couldnt help me. I dont have any friends because no one would understand what im going through. Im guessing everyone would say, the bad times will pass, it will be better, think positive etc. I tried all that. No luck here. It is frustrating and quite honestly- Im losing strength. I tried to rationalise why this things are happening. Is it within me? I dont think so- I read alot of self help books, am educated, good looking, with good manners, trying to help other in need.... I dont know why is this happening. Am I cursed? Maybe, I dont know. I just know it is extremely tiring. So yes. I want to experience some luck in life, so hopefully we all get out of this 'bad luck sydrome' thing. Be Well!
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