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Clayjars's Achievements


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  1. Happiness makes life enjoyable. Happiness comes when we experience satisfaction of a desire, a dream, a hope. Happiness is like a refreshing cold drink on a hot, blistering day that quench thirst, or getting recognized and/or promoted at work. It gives us joy & sense of fulfillment. But life isn't just series of happy feelings. I think a more "mature" form of happiness is joy. Joy, I would say is not so much fluctuation of emotions, but a consistent presence of peace and contentment in the given situation regardless of what is going on externally. Joy, I think comes from the hope of not an immediate satisfaction of our desires, but something more long-term. That's why I think it's more "mature." Kids cannot wait. They want it here & now. But adults can wait. We can work towards future goals even when things seem bleak. I think joy is kinda like that. We experience small bursts of happiness and long waits in between. That's the fact of this broken world. Why did God put us in such miserable place? I think Beyondweary is right. God made a perfect, beautiful garden where He provided everything man can ever want or need. But man wanted to become like God. He wanted to decide what is good and evil, he wanted to call the shots instead of depending on God. So, he rejected God and rebelled against Him. That rebellion brought brokenness into the garden. That brokenness is unnatural, it's evil, it's messed up. We are still in rebellion today, aren't we? We want to decide what is right, what is good, we don't want anyone, especially God telling us how to live our lives! Brokenness touches everything, the world, our job, our relationship with others & of course with God. I think people are familiar with the story of the garden, but not so familiar with God's plan to redeem the broken world! We struggle with the brokenness outside of us & within us and we can easily lose hope. I mean looking at the mess the world is in really takes the breath away. But, the world wasn't intended to be this broken & that's why I think so many people sense it. In our souls and deep in our hearts, we know that something's not quite right. There's something badly wrong with the world, with people. But, God hasn't given up on this messed up world. He will redeem His creation one day. But we wait for that day. Our lives will be touched by the evil of this world but God gives us hope that replaces our deep unrest and anxiety and helps us overcomes the worst this broken world can throw at us. So, as we battle depression and anxiety, I hope we can find our hope and strength beyond our feeble selves.
  2. I'm glad to hear that hope is back in your life! I think it is key to unlocking the door that frees us from the dungeon of despair and depression. I had struggled with depression for a long time. I remember when I first heard that "the truth will set you free." I was skeptical and I wondered what that might look and feel like. I had tried so many things to "fix" myself, but nothing brought lasting change. I continued to go to this church that challenged my beliefs, my attitudes, my feelings... it began to help me to see life in a very different perspective. It helped me to understand the lies I had been believing in and helped me to overcome my fears that arose from my faulty beliefs. I needed the truth that was taught me, but also the community of people who loved me, who supported me and helped me take my very first wobbly steps of faith out of darkness and into the light. I'm very glad to hear that you have support groups to help you overcome your struggles. You are absolutely right. We cannot conquer this alone. We need to know what the truth is, and we need a community of people who lovingly encourage and support us in this battle. Blessings,
  3. Hi, I'm sorry you are not feeling well. Depression is truly evil in that it isolates you from even those who love you and paralyzes you. It really messes with your mind where like you said, even though you have everything & your life is "pretty perfect" you can't enjoy it. It's a battle of the mind, I think. I just wanted to challenge your thought that it's just chemical imbalance. I am fully aware that professionals say it & they believe it, but as someone who's been there and walked through that darkness, I am not fully on board with it. I agree that the label "chemical imbalance" helps us understand that we shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed. It's not our fault. But oftentimes, I think it takes away our weapons and the incentive to fight this monster as it assures us that it's not our fault! It blames chemical imbalance but it also puts us in a state of helplessness as a victim. I recently heard a quote by French philosopher Sartre who said "Life is C between B and D." Our life is full of C-hoices between B-irth and D-eath. From the moment we open our eyes in the morning until we close them at night, we are making choice after choice... will we get up now? hit snooze? listen to music? read a book? go out? stay in? Depression hijacks our ability to choose. It says we are helpless, we can't override the chemical imbalance. I think we need to examine what we believe. Are we just victims? Is there no hope for those who struggle with depression? I don't believe that. But I also know that the battle is not an easy one, and cannot be fought alone. I think we can enlist medicine & counselors to help us balance chemicals while we learn to take back our life. I didn't have access to medicine, but I did have my church and my small group that helped me focus and see the lies I was believing in. The fight was long and really hard. I had no hope when I began this journey many decades ago, but I have learned to make choices, learned to accept myself, learned to appreciate life in small and big things. I learned to love, learned to hope, learned to trust. It breaks my heart to see your struggles, but please don't let your depression hijack your life. Make choices to take back your life. Don't try to make a drastic change, but make each choice count. Enlist friends/family/pastor/doctor/counselor, etc to come to support you in this battle. ~hugs
  4. Hi, I'm so glad to hear that happiness has returned to your life! It may have been missing awhile, so you may have to get used to this "new" feeling, but I do hope that you enjoy it. Allow yourself to be happy, to enjoy the little things in life, to be thankful for what we see, hear, taste, feel that we have often taken for granted. Blessings~<3
  5. Glad to hear that you are finding your voice. Communication needs to be practiced & improved so that we can be clearly understood by others, especially by those close to us. Otherwise, we wind up taking back seat while others hijack our lives which often leads to resentment & a lot of other issues. Keep sharing & practicing here, although I think you're pretty good at it already!!! There are a lot of good online resources that can help you communicate better with your wife & draw healthy boundaries with your inlaws.
  6. It took a lot of guts for you to share yourself with us, but we are glad that you did! Bet you're glad too. I think we tend to stop ourselves from doing things (taking risks) because of fear, but the truth is most of what we fear is unfounded. So, I'm glad you discovered that there's nothing to fear on this board! It's just a bunch of us who understand what you're struggling with and want to encourage you to continue to be yourself here.
  7. Hi, I hope I find you feeling a little better today. I just wanted to remind you that our feelings are not set on a stone. Feelings come, they go. They are up, they are down, they are sideways... Don't try to determine your sanity based on what or how you are feeling at the moment. It's a part of beauty in being human. We are thinking, feeling, reasoning beings. Especially when you are younger and undergoing much physical, mental, emotional developments, I think it would be good to keep reminding yourself not to take your feelings too literally. Feelings are based on your perceptions of reality which can be right, but which can also be wrong. I think the best thing to do is not to let your feelings define or control you. Try to put things in perspective. I find that often when I begin to fixate on how I feel, I get lost in the woods. It's kinda like trying to find my way out of the woods by examining each tree bark. It helps me to step back & try to get a bigger picture of where I am, where I am headed. I like to remind myself that relationships are like a mortar. It's where my fears, my self-centeredness and my issues are exposed. I think that's the reason why relationships often hurt, but I have set my goal on becoming a better person by confronting those issues that come up and trying to become a more loving, kind, truthful, faithful, encouraging, positive person. It's not easy and sometimes it's slow going, but little by little, I am changing and I find freedom from those "issues" that has held me hostage from becoming the person I was meant to be. hugs~
  8. Hi, I understand your struggles. It's hard feeling all alone, but you aren't. You have us here, and I'm sure you have others in your life that love you and care for you. One thing you have to keep in mind as you seek to recover is to be honest with your therapist. If you lie or pretend, they cannot give you the treatment you need. Don't try to tell them something you think they want to hear, but be honest & tell them the truth. If you struggle with being honest with them, you can tell them that too.
  9. Glad you are here. Depressions becomes a way of life, a way we interpret and experience life. How has your therapist helped you deal with depression? Did something happen recently that made you "hit a wall"? And why did you decide to take a break from seeing your therapist?
  10. Hello Nashe, how are you holding up? You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
  11. Hello Nashe, it breaks my heart to know how much you are hurting. The anger, sadness and pain from the past are haunting you, isn't it. You have been terribly violated and you can't shake the memories but they keep dragging you down under. How have you been trying to overcome this situation? What have you tried? Have you spoken to a counselor or a pastor?
  12. Ditto. I wouldn’t worry too much about his resentment should he be forced to be hospitalized. I think getting him in a safe place where he can be stabilized is more important. I guess it depends on how the particular hospital handles psychiatric patients, but I would like to think that they will keep him until he is stable. First of all, he needs to eat. His brain needs nutrition. Mind and body are integrated. They must be treated together. He may also need medical attention. Once there is some sort of stability, perhaps he will be in a better place to listen to you and you can encourage him to get professional help.
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