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johnson0909's Achievements


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  1. @gs22 Yes, I have been trying to take care of myself. I noticed that I haven't been eating and I've lost some weight because of it. I have been almost forcing myself to eat and I've been working out more. I'm very self-conscious but going to the gym has made me feel a little bit better about myself (physically). I will check that other thread out. It sounds like something that I would benefit from. Just by having people to talk to is helping so I want to thank you for that. I feel like its alot easier to go through this with someone that feels the same way. If you ever want to talk, just message me directly.
  2. @struggling79 you deserve so much better than what you're getting. That makes me so angry that someone would do that to you let alone two people treating you like that. I don't know how someone could do that to another person. It's not your fault, they just have something wrong with them that makes them think its okay. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. You deserve more and I hope you find it. Let me know if there's anything that I can do for you. I hope you feel better soon.
  3. I'm still having a rough time. I feel like I cant go to them and I'm just utterly alone. I found myself having suicidal thoughts today. Not that i wanted to hurt myself just that it would make everything easier. (havent been having thoughts like that since earlier today) I've never had a problem with girls but now its almost impossible to find a girl. I know thats the least of my worries right now but not being able to find someone has made my depression even worse. I just keep telling myself that one day I will find someone. New to the site so I'm not sure if i should be posting to another thread or not. I'm not too sure on how to work all of this. I want to try and help other people too. So maybe there is another thread for me to look at.
  4. Thank you gs22. Today has been a rough day and you guys are making me feel better. I feel like I have no one to talk to at times. My parents don't know how to handle this so they just get frustrated with me and it causes a bigger problem. I just need someone to talk to. I'm tired of hiding in the corner and pretending like everything is ok to make other people comfortable. I can't keep living like this. I'm sorry to hear about your parents. It sounds bad, but it's refreshing to know that people are going through similar situations. I feel like I'm not as alone as I perceive it to be. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish this upon anyone but it is nice to know that there are people out there that are dealing with this and are kind enough to talk to me. I really do appreciate you sharing your story with me.
  5. Thank you for responding. This has been the most difficult time of my life and sometimes I just dont know what to do. It's extremely difficult to reach out to people but I know that I need some some serious help. I really do appreciate the kind words and I'm hoping that I can connect with more people that have similar feelings. I have been seeing a physician that has been helping me. I just dont know if I want to resort to medication right now. We are currently working on some ideas to help. Once again, thank you.
  6. I'm not entirely sure on where I should start so I'll just wing it. About four years ago, my father was diagnosed with a severe form of cancer. He has always been my role model and I wish I could be half the man that he is. The news was devastating to me and our family. He is the most caring person in the world. Over these four years, I have seen him go through hell and seen things that you shouldnt have to see a loved one go through. I was a college athlete at the time and I had a serious girlfriend that helped keep my mind off of the situation. He finally was in remission after many long and painful chemo treatments. Things were going great, I was about to graduate from college, my girlfriend and I were making plans to get married, I had a great job lined up, and my dad was doing alot better. Then about a month before my graduation, my girlfriend decided to leave me (she had been seeing another guy while I was away) and my dad fell out of remission. We were told that he had 1 year to live. This is when I first started to have depression symptoms. I have no one to talk too. I've never had a problem with finding girls until now. It's almost like I dont exist to people around me. Everyone is happy and I can barely get through each day. I work for family and they recently started to hint at me finding another job. So now I went from having the perfect life to crying myself to sleep every night. I used to think that I was this big tough guy but now I only see myself as a helpless boy that cant find anyone to talk to. My two bestfriends are professional athletes and one of them lives with me. I see how much attention they get and how everyone wants to talk to them and its like I'm some ghost that nobody can see. I feel hopeless every single day and I honestly cannot tell you the last time that I was truly happy. There hasn't been one second that I felt content with myself. I don't like myself anymore. I feel terrible because my dad is very sick and I'm sitting here crying over being lonely. But I cant stop. I feel like I'm worthless. My depression is definitely effecting every single part of my day. Please help
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