I keep feeling depressed and anxious. I feel like nothing will change... i am not happy. I don't want to be on medication. I don't think or feel attractive. I want to be and feel happy and attractive. I want women to think I'm attractive. I want multiple women in my life. I feel i am just wasting time. I want to meet attractive women. I am sick of living with my dad and seeing him drink everyday. I am sick of hearing the can or bottle of alcohol open! I get so jealous of other guys, sad and depressed. I am sick of working at my job! I feel stuck, i feel worthless, i feel lost. I am crying while writing this and i an guessing is because i an not happy with my life, myself, my looks, and my appearance. I am finally able to cry, i wasn't able to when on antidepressants although the meds gave me confidence when i was younger. Sometimes i just want to give up, because i don't feel any change i just feel i am getting older, i lost time and i feel lost. No i don't want to die, I'm scared to die because i feel i will still be missing out on something if i died. I always keep going and trying but i still end up with the same results it brings me down so hard to my core. I am going to Miami in a few months and i feel i wont have fun or enjoy myself. That also depresses me! I am not looking for sympathy i am just expressing how i feel.
Thanks for listening.