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  1. So sorry you are dealing with this now. Also, sorry you have had to deal with other life situations, which most 21 year olds do not have to. Your writing indicates you are coping in a mature manner...you are being honest, vocalizing your pains, and getting professional help. Additionally, your writing highlights you are very intelligent. You write well and include details! Your intelligence and ability to "feel" are blessings! Sunday, our pastor challenged us to write down three "blessings" every day for the Thanksgiving season, after he cited many medical studies verifying by focusing on the positive, our bodies, minds, and hearts become healthier. I would encourage you to do this, because right now your life is hard. You might say it is hard to find positives...Let me help you start. You ARE intelligent! You ARE an eloquent writer! You ARE able to verbalize your feelings well. Please believe there is HOPE. You are not the cause of your mother's problems. Praying for you today, friend!
  2. Glad you are back and seeking help. We think we can get better on our own, yet in reality, we need the help of others. We understand and are here for you. Continuing to struggle is frustrating, especially when we feel like we are trying so hard to get better. Seeing a Christian therapist was an avenue I have taken which has given me hope. It was a safe place to vent, cry, scream, and at times laugh. She made me believe my sadness was temporary...and through various strategies (i.e. exercise, prayer, support groups, work, Bible studies, changing my thinking so my behaviors started to change...) I am better. I believe I am enough, I am loved, I am supported. So are YOU! Praying for you today, my friend.
  3. OOPS! I meant to say "Glad you were NOT hurt more seriously!"
  4. So sorry and glad you were hurt more seriously! You sound sad and confused. Sounds like you would like to know how it happened, yet are a little afraid? You might want to consider checking into why it happened a little more in case it is a medical concern you are unaware of?
  5. Glad you are sharing! Your past indicates you are adventuresome and willing to take chances! That's wonderful!! Yet, right now, you sound defeated. Please know there is hope and I encourage you to keep looking forward. Have you considered seeing a life coach or a counselor? Talking through your past and where you would like to go in the future with an unbiased, professional might be helpful! Praying for you today.
  6. Hi Danielle! Welcome! Like other posters, I want you to know there is hope. We understand, have been in your shoes, and have experienced some relief from depression. Know that we are here for you. Keep persevering and keep your faith! I believe God fulfills His promises (my life is becoming easier!) Please keep praying and posting.
  7. Wonderful! Keep posting and know we are here for each other!
  8. So glad you are here. I agree with the other posters. Reaching out to others is the first step to getting ourselves healthier. Have you been seeing a counselor? In most colleges, they have well-trained therapist who deal with issues directly related to your age group. How is your family life now? Would it be worth it to try some counseling before you leave? Praying for you to come up with another forward "step". Please know there is hope.
  9. What your describing sounds painful! Yo have spent years writing and you feel sad your relatives aren't willing to read your work. That hurts!! I have learned that sometimes I just have to forgive my relatives, even if they are not willing to change, because it FREES me. I always wanted to be a teacher. But when it came time to go to college, my dad would not let me major in education for various reasons. I was so sad! My heart wanted to teach! So, I started taking education classes behind his back. I loved them! Eventually, he allowed me to change my major, but I still did not get the strokes my three brothers did because they became engineers. But, I loved teaching. I finally had to forgive my dad, even though he never really changed his mind about me. God give us different gifts and desires and obviously, you feel a "call" to write, so I would encourage you to continue to pursue that.
  10. Glad you are here. Yes, we can share here! Getting honest about our situations, feelings, and pasts and realizing we need others to help is the first step to helping us out of "darkness". Please keep posting. We are here for you. Would you tell us more about what you are going through?
  11. Sorry you are dealing with friendship issues. You are trying to deal with your anxiety and depression, as well as life changes. It's tough!! You seem to know yourself pretty well! Over the last few years, I have realized I can change. Life will change and I have to try more to adjust to the changes by trying to change me. Reading the Bible, praying, exercising, eating well, and saying positive self-talk have all helped. Also, Christian counseling and coaching have helped me to focus on moving forward. I still struggle, but less. Have you considered counseling or coaching? Hope this helps. Praying for you today.
  12. I understand! Although I still struggle with "downers" at times, I have learned some tricks to get myself out of them. I had to change my thinking about myself. I tell myself, "You are NOT a loser. God loves you! You can get better!" Also, when I am thinking negatively about myself, others, or life in general, I say HALT. I ask myself, "Are you H-hungry, A-angry, L-lonely, or T-tired?" Then I address my answer. If I am hungry, I eat healthily. If I am angry, I try to figure out if it is because I am frustrated, afraid, or hurt. Then, I call a friend, journal, pray, read the Bible. If I am lonely, I try to connect with others. If I am tired, now I take a nap or go to bed. Sounds pretty simplistic, but it works for me. Hope this helps.
  13. Welcome! You are in the right place. We understand. This forum helps to know there is hope and we can support each other. Leslie Vernick's book "Lord, I Just Want to be Happy" has helped me to pinpoint my triggers and change my thinking, accepting myself as God has made me. I felt more hopeful after reading it. You might want to take a look at it. https://bit.ly/2HDmMId Hope this helps and hope you are feeling better!
  14. Welcome! We are here to support you and each other! Depression is such a mystery. When my thoughts get hold of me, I have to intentionally change them. Changing my thoughts help to change my actions. Since I can be perfectionistic, I recognize some of the extreme feelings you are describing. Dealing with perfectionism takes work! Have you considered counseling? Christian counseling has helped me to understand I do not have to be perfect. It also has helped me to recognize it is healthy and normal to voice my feelings and not stuff them, changing my thoughts help me to build healthier actions and habits, and it is helpful and positive to talk to others, especially professionals and people who love me, yet hold me accountable. Hope this helps! Praying for you today!
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