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theCatastrophist last won the day on January 30 2018

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About theCatastrophist

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  1. Just you reading my post and responding with anything is helpful. Thank you so much. 😀👍
  2. Thank you so much for the kind responses! It helps to not feel so alone. Those are very kind words anyway, thank you. I didn’t get into a real relationship until I was 27. I’m learning I shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship at all. I think I’ve used them as support because I cannot support myself financially. Thanks for the welcoming Leila. I have neither friends nor family anymore. But I have you guys and this forum and that is something. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through something similar as well. I feel for you too! It definitely helped to know I’m not going through this alone. All the best to you too! Oh you poor thing you shouldn’t say never to another relationship. Though as I wrote above I don’t think I’m fit for a romantic relationship, this is my third one that I’ve destroyed. It is disheartening to hear you say that though, i hope you’re okay. Thanks again everyone. And fill free to message me if you want to talk. David
  3. Hi everyone, I’m back after some time off and also to say that my girlfriend of a almost two years wants to be just friends. I’m sure others here can relate when their illnesses have helped to end a relationship. This is nothing new, in fact there’s a weird comfort when things implode like this, but I am truly scared. She says that we rushed into things which I agree with. We met on a depression dating site and then I moved in with her after a few months. I think the constant drain of getting through the day is wearing on her. I can only see a psychiatrist once every 3 months in this area with Medicaid and no job. The intimacy is totally gone with her. This always happens with relationships I’m in. I don’t know if it’s an asexual thing or because I usually have nothing going on but the relationship it suffers. I am very afraid of my future. I am almost 40 years old and if and when my new friend decides she’s tired of me I have nowhere to go. Plus having two cats that I brought with me. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
  4. Yes, it’s great to have you here Samantha. I too can really relate to what you wrote. Especially the predictable days and doing little things around the house before your significant other comes home! I also understand the medications not being able to help. You are still so young though especially for today’s standards. You really don’t know what could happen. I’m sorry to hear about losing your job. Your mom and everyone will understand about the gifts. Would you be upset if someone was in your situation and couldn’t afford to give you a gift?
  5. Very well said, it sounds like we’re in a similar boat. What I also like about Buddhism is that they believe our souls are inherently good. Why someone can seem so bad is from their environment, parents, and so on. That has nothing to do with their souls though. Again I think Zappa was talking about organized religion not spirituality hence the not exactly stellar results. Also Frank Zappa to my understanding was a bit of a P**k and egotistical which is fine for him but not everyone can be like that. I will bring up Buddhism again and say if anyone honestly examines what they see it’s a true Buddhist. It’s founded on a prince seeing how much true suffering there is in the world and try to do something about it. That’s why I try to praise the Goddess Tara. She exists as three different entities and one is of Mother Earth like Gaia. So I’m always reminded to respect the earth, nature, and try, TRY, to respect my fellow humans,
  6. I believed the same thing for most of my life @Misanthrop. But that’s organized religion you’re thinking of not spirituality. I personally believe in a lot of Buddhism that says we are the deities and the deities are us.
  7. I do not have a grateful journal but when I need it I think about what a female Buddhist monk said about appreciating having clean water, clean air, and shelter. A lot of people on this planet don’t have those things. They seem like basic things but for me it puts things in perspective and my internet service and items that I want don’t seem so important to me.
  8. Irish coffee please! Always need the caffeine and the booze will help with the social anxiety.
  9. I’m new here, but I am sorry to read this. Even though I’m really against organized religion I try to be a deeply spiritual person and it’s probably why I’m alive today. My thoughts are unless you are spewing hate or harm, everyone deserves a voice, especially forums like this one. If forums like this can’t be a safe place to everyone it is tough for me to contemplate. Sure, confrontation is not automatically bad, but what about the context of both parties? Is the poster being sincere and because of mental illness is lot more sensitive and emotional than your average commenter on YouTube? Is the one confronting the poster doing it with general inquiry or is it just to ruin the posters’ day? I get that some people need to question everything they come across. I just wish they could just keep to themselves after reading something they don’t necessarily agree with. Better yet, just don’t read a post you know you’re going to disagree with in the first place. Ok, off my soapbox.
  10. This post is indeed powerful Natasha1. You are definitely not alone. I can emapthize with many things you wrote. You are not invalid or worthless you sound pretty amazing actually. You sound very kind and sensitive yet strong, totally someone I could see being friends with. Again amazing post.
  11. Wow, thanks for the kind words Epictetus! You too 20yearsandCounting. I feel welcome already.
  12. Nice to have you here Rick! You seem very sensible and positive so far!
  13. It seems that way HangOn! And I’m sorry to hear that HeatherG. To be clear with everything I do my brain still doesn’t rest that much. I wake up way more tired than when I went to sleep. I think because of this and my age hours a day.
  14. Alright a fellow Remeron, delayed sleep phase disorder sufferer.
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