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Floor2017

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  1. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from JD4010 in I feel bad for thinking about this   
    Yes, we can be our own worst critic.  Even 
    though most people don’t think 🤔 of us
    in the worst way.  We tend to do ourselves 
    in, in our minds 
  2. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Epictetus in How Is Your Weather Today? #17   
    It is blazing hot here in MS, that it makes you crazy  I wished we were getting some rain to help cool
    us off with this hot humility. 
  3. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to starbucksjunkee in Is it not ok to be happy sometimes   
    Floor2017, I am sorry this is so long...but here
    It's definitely okay to not be happy sometimes...the world is a really tough place to live now and I wouldn't want to be a kid right now. I think that you are right.  I just posted something positive and no one has responded yet.   I asked the question if you could go back to before your first episode would you go back and try to change things?  This discussion will probably get lost in the shuffle.  It's just hard to think optimistically about anything when you're depressed/manic/anxious/something else but noone mentally ill or stable is happy all of the time.  Sometimes people put on an act because they're ashamed to show their real feelings or embarrassed or they're in denial.  I wish that we could live a society where someone can say how are you and we can give a truthful answer and be accepted and heard and validated.  I think it's very important to try to find a lesson in every situation when you can't find the good.  I mean, if you live with depression at least you're a survivor.  It's better than giving up.  I'm not saying that I'm always able to do this but it's usually easier for me to get out of depression than mania.  I distract myself with coping mechanisms that work for me and reach out to people I trust for extra support and when I don't have anyone around I sometimes call the local crisis number...not because I'm suicidal just to vent for a few minutes to a non-responsive objective sounding board who doesn't know me in real life and I pray sometimes. 
    I'm  not sure if this makes any sense at all.  What goes down must eventually come up...we can't really dig to China eventually we must come out of the dirt and clean up.  I'm blessed that I have a lot of support or I never would have survived the three times I was suicidal (2002 before i was diagnosed, 2014 during a bad hospitalization I will never get over, and 2016 when I was having flashbacks from my past).  I couldn't do it to my parents.  My mom said she couldn't live without me.  So even though it hurts her when I am sick and I annoy her a lot I have to believe her.  One of my coping mechanisms is exercise...I hate doing it but I always feel good when I'm done.  I take long walks by myself to clear my head when the weather isn't too hot.  During those walks sometimes I get really positive feelings and hope in my heart and I feel good and I feel at peace and warm inside.  I wish that feeling would last forever. 
    That's  how I felt last Saturday when I got to see a dear friend for the first time in almost 15 years.  It's been the last four years that he and I have been really close because he was just a mentor and a reference before but now he's a true friend and it was so hard to let him go and say goodbye because I may never see him again.  It was like I was saying goodbye to all of these people from my past that I didn't get to say goodbye to and that's a big load to put on him and I can't ever tell him.  I don't mean this in a romantic way...but I feel guilty now that I have these feelings for him.  I mean I care about him maybe more than I should.  But he's the only person that I have left from college that I have any contact with him except for one fraternity brother but he doesn't want to  be friends in that way.  We just send each other Christmas cards.  I have pretty much given up on ever finding "the one".  They always say you have to be your own best friend and you have to love yourself.  But how do you love yourself when you are a mess?  That's something I've tried to answer for years.  My last therapist said it's a chemical imbalance you don't choose to feel that way.  It's not your fault.  But it's hard for me to believe that.
     
     
     
  4. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Wisteria in How Do You Feel Right Now? #7   
    I feel like I can begin to breath I'm tired and I just want to rest.
    It been a long week and now I need time to get myself back
    together from a long stressful week on the job. 
  5. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to BeyondWeary in SPIRITS   
    Are you a pastor? If not, you should be. 
  6. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to BeyondWeary in SPIRITS   
    Thanks, Floor! Good to remember. Easier said then done. 
  7. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from BeyondWeary in SPIRITS   
    For some of you may not know the things 
    that you are wrestling with is not things of
    this world 🌎 but Evil Spirits Of Datkness
    from the Outter most part of the universe 
    and we can not fight these spirits with 
    flesh and blood but with the power of 
    Gods Holy Spirit.  We must be in the spirit
    when we fight these things of the Mind.
    It takes Faith in the Powet of God’s
    Anointing Word to be able to overcome 
    these Strong Holds That has been released 
    to attack us.  Hang in there my friends
    and fight with the power of God.
  8. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to Steveab63 in I feel bad for thinking about this   
    Yeah, its amazing, (or sad) that the lower we feel, the more we beat ourselves up. We wouldnt do that to anyone else, yet its our 'go-to' response when we're feeling down.
    I deserve this, I'm useless, I'm stupid, I'm weird, no one else goes through this, no one cares, i shouldn't have been born, everyone hates me, ill never get better, I'll never amount to anything, i cant do anything right, i should just end it...we're so mean to ourselves....
  9. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from BeyondWeary in What's an extrovert to do   
    Yes, you are right we were created to need 
    each other as in the form of
    communication, feel,touch and emotional
    😭 along with physical touch 
  10. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Riddler103 in I will rejoice regardless of life circumstances   
    Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
    Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
    Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
    Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior
     
    Life sometimes get hard and the enemy try to get us to stop
    believing in God because if he can get us to stop believing
    in God than he can have his way with us because we have
    lost all hope.
     
  11. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Something2LiveFor in I will rejoice regardless of life circumstances   
    Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
    Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
    Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
    Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior
     
    Life sometimes get hard and the enemy try to get us to stop
    believing in God because if he can get us to stop believing
    in God than he can have his way with us because we have
    lost all hope.
     
  12. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Riddler103 in Can't stop crying   
    I believe that your husband have some things going in his life that
    he just does not know how to deal with and he is lashing out at you
    but, I do not think it is not that he does not love you because we as
    men sometimes do not know how to express our hurt and pain, so
    his lashing out is probably about something else that he has no
    control over and unfortunately he brought the problem home
    with him.  Give him some time to cool off and he probably will
    tell you that he is sorry and he did not mean any harm.
    I been married going on 27 years and I have done this myself
    not realizing that I'm hurting the one person in the world who
    love me the most.  This is a very common problem among us men,
    Hang in there My Friend and I wish you and your husband nothing
    but the best going forward from this point.
  13. Thanks
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Something2LiveFor in When is God at work among us?   
    WHEN IS GOD AT WORK AMONG US?
     
    Perhaps God is working mightily in our lives or in the of those
    around us, but we've been missing out because we keep expecting
    God to show up in other ways, in other places, and among different
    people.  Sometimes Faith means learning to see where God is working
    right now in the moment, rather than asking God to show up on our terms. 
  14. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to sabiflitch in Learning how to be selfish in a good way?   
    I have not made a vision board but that sounds like a good idea. Im embarrassed to do it though... because if I fail it's going to hurt.
  15. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to Scias in Learning how to be selfish in a good way?   
    Does he ever talk to you about your feelings or how you feel or what you want to do? It's nice to want to give him your attention but not so much if he isn't more considerate towards you though.
  16. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from LeilaNadine in Learning how to be selfish in a good way?   
    Well said you first have to take care of your needs before you can help someone else to take care of their needs.  Otherwise you both will sink together in the pond of disappointment and frustrations of the world 🌎 
  17. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from Epictetus in How Do You Feel Right Now? #7   
    I feel like I can begin to breath I'm tired and I just want to rest.
    It been a long week and now I need time to get myself back
    together from a long stressful week on the job. 
  18. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from sober4life in Having to quit work   
    My friends it is so hard to keep getting 
    back up after being knocked down so 
    many times.  I know all about running out of gas ⛽️ or juice 🥤.  Hang in there my 
    friend and hopefully you will be able to 
    be refuel again and again 
  19. Sad
    Floor2017 reacted to JD4010 in Having to quit work   
    Oh, yes indeed. What you wrote sounds completely familiar. Right now, I'm under investigation for poor work performance. I've been at this place for just shy of 30 years and I'm being put through a "performance improvement plan". I have to attend performance reviews every 2 weeks with my boss and an HR analyst. It's humiliating.
    My days where I can't accomplish anything outnumber those days when I can.
    Depression has dragged me through the muddy ditch for years now. I'm trying to pull myself up but seem to get knocked right back down again. I'm growing very weary of the struggle.
  20. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from JD4010 in Having to quit work   
    Depression is nobody friend and it knows no boundaries to what to
    attack and not to attack.  Don't feel bad my friend it is not your fault
    you have tried everything you know how and you still can not focus
    the way most people do, it is in deed from depression and all the
    demons that come with it.  Hang in there my friend and I'm praying
    for better days ahead for you.   
  21. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from JD4010 in How Do You Feel Right Now? #7   
    I feel like I can begin to breath I'm tired and I just want to rest.
    It been a long week and now I need time to get myself back
    together from a long stressful week on the job. 
  22. Like
    Floor2017 got a reaction from sabiflitch in I realize my sexual past is the reason I am insecure   
    I can not add anything new to what others have already said, but we do love
    you hear and you are a survivor of the worst kind bulling and sexual abuse.
    Please try to seek more professional help to help you to deal with the demons
    of your past.  I'm feeling your pain and I wished I could do more but unfortunately
    all we can do is wish you well and a peace of mind along with a comforting spirit.
    Hang in there my friend and I'm praying that you be able to smell the roses of your
    presence future with nothing but bright sun shine ahead.
  23. Like
    Floor2017 reacted to Oscar K in With depression and axiety   
    I can't comment on meds since I never used them however I'm a big believer in what I like to call MEDaphors.
    Depression and anxiety play awful tricks to our fragile yet resilient psyches.
    My approach is to play a few tough, clever tricks right back to Old Man Depression.
    Anyone reading my posts over the past few years will see how I invoke a cave metaphor for depression.
    It's been quite helpful to me and occasionally to others.
    I constantly need to remind myself that depression can be a natural resource.
    I know it sounds a bit crazy but everything in this world is more than a bit crazy.
    Anyway this forum has helped me so much and I'm very thankful for the insights.
  24. Thanks
    Floor2017 reacted to JessiesMom in With depression and axiety   
    It depends on how severe your depression and anxiety are - I think of meds as a way to put symptoms into abayance - so that issues can be worked through - but this is not true for all people. And there may be issues that can never be healed from - meds can make them easier to live with.
    I know two people who suffer from bi-polar disorder. One has been able to wean himself off his medication and is living farily well. He does not have a regular job and is able to adjust his life to the rythems of his disorder. The other went off his medication and went off the deep end. It is tricky - and you will never know what the result will be until it is too late. 
    This is probably a conversation best had with your prescribing doctor and a therapist. However, it is not a good idea to just go cold turkey no matter what.
  25. Thanks
    Floor2017 reacted to lonelyforeigner in With depression and axiety   
    You can learn to manage anxiety without meds. It's not easy but doable... With depression it kinda depends on the underlying cause. If you've been depressed for a long time and it's not just the occasional episode it's obviously a lot harder. Many people do manage to get it under control with just therapy though so there is hope. If your depression is not at all circumstantial or related to your past then the underlying issue might be a chemical imbalance which like high blood pressure will require ongoing medication. 
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