I'm sorry to hear that my friend and I hope you can find peace with this one day.
Your childhood life with your parents should have been one of the safest places
you could go as a child. Hang in there my friend
I could bore you with the usual: I was born there and did that(and I have here and there on df)
but the honest truth is
I haven’t a clue really.
Your questions, though expressed in a jocular shroud, are probably the most profound questions there are.
Why are we here and not there? Why did any of us turn out the way we did? Who or more to the point which circumstances sired any of our respective dissonances, harmonies, tempests and sanctuaries? What role do our respective peculiarities play in the grand scheme of things?
Does any of it matter anyhow?
most days my replies will be in the negative.