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Posts posted by Floor2017

  1. I felt a little down at the start of this day. I felt depressed at times because my family does not include me in a lot of things. They just barely talks to me and it really hurts. I know it really is not their fault because of my isolating myself from them. This depression and mental health robs you of the life enjoyments that you should be experiencing on a daily basis. 

  2. 4 hours ago, sober4life said:

    It's in the 60s here but it's raining.  I get excited this time of year because all of my stink bug pets return.  I saved 2 of them today because they were stuck on their backs.  I like them.  They keep people away.  I love it when someone is here and they fly and hit them.  They're like small guard dogs.😄

    I love it 

  3. 1 hour ago, simsimon said:

    Hello. I have never gone public, so forgive me if my writing is a bit loose, or if I write too much.

    From the beginning of my life, I have always felt that I was different and treated differently.
    That’s because I am. I have a syndrom called KlippelFeil, which basically is taring my life apart, and giving me endless depression and sleepless nights.

    Right now, I am 33 years old. When I look back at my life I just wonder why I am still alive. I have basically been either fired from all my 6 jobs or resigned by my own will. I have been at 4 schools, but I have never kept any of my friends. I have the feeling that
    People is deselecting me because of the way I look. Dating is completely impossible. 100% is rejecting me, for either my looks or there was no chemistry. I feel like Im failing everyday at my job, life etc. - bad mistakes, things that could have been avoided.

    I’ve just come to a point of life, where I actually do not wish to continue anymore. Everyday feels like a struggle and failure. If I knew how to quit from my life, I would have done it years ago.
    I have tried to take my own life multiple times, though never gotten any help other than my parents yelling or surveilling me and then eventually been left alone.

    Trust me, there’s nothing more that I would like to take new opportunities, it’s just not a good feeling that almost everywhere you go, people is staring at you because of my handicap/syndrom.
    And because of physically limitations, life just get limited very fast. Basic things like, playing guitar, play golf, etc I can’t do because of my limitations.

    People always say: You gotta do it the best you can- that just make me feel such a looser.
    Everyday is empty and alone- with no friends to care.

    I just so dearly would love to take over the world, get a career, but with my limitations - it just seems like a waste of time.

    I know it sounds weird but, It’s not that I don’t like life, I just hate my life so very very much.

    I am so sorry to hear that. I hope things can improve for you. Perhaps taking a few baby steps can help you while you figure out what you are best at. Life might change around you, but there still is a purpose for you. Keep searching until you can  find the new you 

  4. On 7/30/2021 at 7:54 PM, Charlee said:

    (not sure if this belongs in MNESN/here/or suicidal idealization)


    I feel really low right now, 2021 hasnt been kind to me, and im really struggling to find the strength to carry on, I dont even want too, I want to be put out of my misery. Im so tired of being so low, im tired of the few weeks were I feel ok and thinking life is looking up but then BOOM sis depression comes smashing back in and im in hell again. It used to be that id feel better more times out of the year than feeling like this but as time as gone by the good moments are fewer and far between. The darkness definitely takes over now and I dont have the energy to continue anymore. Am I going to come to a point where I dont feel any hope or any point anymore that i'll just do it..? I dont feel im there yet.. but maybe in a few years........ life has not turned out like I thought it would. But does it ever? Im so miserable and I dont know what to do anymore. Feeling a little bit of crisis because I feel its only going to get worse and then I really will be in crisis. I dont know. Not feeling good right now. Just deflated sadness.

    My friend, I hate to hear that you are going through tough times right now. But, to be honest with you, it is only a test that all of us have to go through. You can defeat this inter spirit that is trying to torment you. Just fight back with whatever the opposite of what that inter spirit is throwing at you. A good example of this is when the tormenting spirit is saying you can’t do something. You tell yourself you can and just keep on fighting until you can begin to see a change take place in your life. I have to do the same myself, because I really haven’t had many people to believe in me. However, that became the fuel that drives me. When someone look down on me or try to tell me something like you are not capable of doing this. It actually gives me motivation to prove you are wrong about me. For the most part of my life I have overcome my inter spirit frustrations. Be blessed and I hope that I said something that might inspire you to keep on fighting and persevering on your journey of life.

  5. 9 hours ago, crewneck said:

    I'm feeling really good today. I feel like for the last few years I've been stagnant but today I feel like I made some mental progress. I'm proud of myself. I either wasn't ready for change or I've always been really scared of change so it has stoped me from living. Today I sat down with myself and talked to myself for a few hours to dissect what the root problem of my struggles were. I've done that so many times from anxious thinking throughout the years but today I made a break through. It feels quite liberating. I think the fact that I recently hit rock bottom and told myself I need to be nicer to myself helped a lot. I hope this mentality sticks. I have faith in myself but I'm also so scared to yo-yo from my depression and anxiety. I hope everyone who reads this the best of luck in their own journey. Life can be hard but there's always good days ahead. 

    Wow, I totally can identify with you. I do agree that we have to be easier on ourselves because mental illness does not play fair. If we cannot get enough motivation going in our own lives. There probably want be anyone else pushing or motivating us to hang in there until a better day come for us. I am so excited that you found some breakthrough in your life and now you have something to try to build on from this day forward. Be blessed my friend and continue to persevere on your journey of life.

  6. 1 minute ago, sober4life said:

    Sure I agree.  I'm lonely all the time but everyone I have always known my whole life has driven me crazy and made me sick.

    I totally understand my friend. When I was a child, I would be around the other children because I always wanted to be like them with a very out going personality. But, I was totally different just was not very good at communicating with others. I would hope someone would choose me to play with or to start a conversation with me. However, this really never happen to me. I had to learn how to bring myself contentment and to speak encouragement to others. I believe this is my gift to society, to give them something that I did not get myself. Hope, and someone to believe in you regardless of how your situation may look. 

  7. 4 hours ago, ManDss said:

    Im 29 old. Ive been dealing with loneliness since some years ago. Its a whole story isnt necesary to tell, but I ended up like this.

    This days I disntaced from all my friends. And with my family just have a polite relationship, dont talk much with them.

    Anyone also struggles with loneliness ?

    I started joining to depression forums trying to  find others who also deal with this. Sometimes would be nice to have someone to talk even if its virtually. 

    Yes, I am also dealing with loneliness. I do not want to be this way, but when I am around friends and family members. I just seems to go in this anxiety mode and I cannot stay around them no longer than about thirty minutes. My mind just go into a mode that I got to get out of here. I am also this way with my children and wife also. But I do not want to be like this, but after 50 years of this, I guess this is just the hand that was dealt to me. I must play my hand out because folding is not a option for me. Be blessed my friends and may all of you be feel with the power to overcome and the determination to fight for whatever you want out of life.

  8. 4 hours ago, InfinateandDistant said:

    I'm not sure. I sort of feel like I'm walking down railroad tracks in a tunnel and I don't see light at either end of the tunnel, keeping in mind that I have a prosthetic leg and not able to excercise much. I guess I'm more afraid of dying in the tunnel from unknown reasons alone and unloved from family or even a single friend that I don't have. 

    It is very difficult to continue on your journey when you do not know where you are going. It is even harder when you do not see any daylight anywhere. Keep the faith and continue on moving until someone or something can bring you some clarity in your life 

  9. 55 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

    Irritable today. Perfectly illustrated by my 'bathing experience' earlier. I scrubbed the bath before getting in and had been looking forward to my 'relaxing' bath.

    ... Got in, started shaving and started sliding about because my bath is wonky 😬 Anyway, I got so irritated I wanted to flipping scream. I could have smashed up the bathroom 😱 I didn't and I finished my shaving but I hated every minute in there. 

    And people say why is it so difficult to bathe, shower, dress or whatever for a depressed/anxious person 😬 Because it can feel like torture sometimes believe it or not. The feelings override everything. 

    I totally understand what you are saying. Sometimes it gets very hard to bathe. Some days I just go without one. 

  10. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your sister and your best friend. From what I gather from your post is that your sister was teaching you how to become stronger and how to overcome things that got in your way. Your sister might be gone from society but she have never left your spirit. Reach deep down inside and ask yourself, what would my sister tell me to do. And by that way you keep her alive and it can bring some comfort back into your life. I had to do the same thing when I lost my dad without a warning. He went to sleep one night and did not awake again out of his sleep. Just like that he was no longer among us. Treasure your memories of your sister and let her beautiful spirit live on within you. Be blessed and I am going to be praying for you a peace of mind and a comforting spirit. Be blessed my friend 

  11. 23 hours ago, Nightjar said:

    I've just been packing again for a couple of hours. That's more than enough for me per day. Anyone ever packed a house in a day? I know some people do. How, I don't know. I guess just throwing everything in and hoping for the best 😳 My ocd won't allow any of that. 

    I went out this afternoon for extra strong tape and called into the corner shop for supplies. 

    I forced myself to relax this morning and it helped - a lot. Force relaxed and watched a film and then force meditated with a couple of yoga poses thrown in.

    Anxiety came way down this afternoon. Just had a little wobble before I started packing again this evening. 

    No amount of stuff is worth this anxiety. But I have to get it outta here whether I want it or not coz it's the rules. I'd love to have a lot less stuff. I'm getting there with it but I only have 4 days left. Paaaaaaniiiiiiiic.. Force relax. Paaaaniiiic. Force relax. Wax on. Wax off. 

    F*ck on. F*ck off 😂


    Hang in there and hopefully everything will turn out well for you 

  12. I got up in severe pain and I pushed myself to go to work. As the day went on I started feeling depressed about my life. I  am going to have to push myself to get out of this funk. Because if I do not the rest of my day would be ruined and it would not be a very productive day 

  13. 16 hours ago, Victoria1011 said:

    last week I confessed  to my husband of 13 years that I was unfaithful to him. I also told him that our daughter (5yeasr old) might not be his. the pain that I have been dealing with is beyond imaginable, seeing him in so much pain is so painful. but I couldn't live with this anymore. I could have chose not to tell him at all but what if he would have found when she's older. I started going to a therapist is helping a little. but when I wake up every morning I just can't believe what we're going through. I want to say that prior to my confession I did a home dna test for siblings for my other child and the results came back that they are full siblings. after my confession he wanted a paternity test in which I did with the same DNA company, the results came back that he is not the father. he thinks that it could be a mistake. I told him that I'm willing to walk out of the relationship but he wants to work through it. I asked if he wants a legit one meaning going to a courthouse and he said no. he is sure that is his daughter. I need your advise PLEASE. The guilt is overpowering me.

    I am so sorry to hear that you are having some issues right now in your marriage. I cannot tell you what to do but I can say if you still believe in your family.  It is worth working through it to get to the other side. I wish the two of you nothing but the best as the two of you go through this. Be blessed my friend and do not beat yourself up because it will not do any of you any good.

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