Alceste posted a topic in **A Special Forum to Welcome our 'NEW MEMBERS'!!**So, hi. I just recently turned 45, had my first diagnose for (severe) depression 15 years ago. Now after two years of therapy I've come to a realization that I've been depressed from childhood. I work full time in IT (development), I'm medicated, I function. Last week I took the BDI test scoring 35 (severe depression). And started to think if this is it. Is this the new normal, living in a hazy routine waiting for the next major relapse and added medication and sick leave. I'm so tired.