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Everything posted by nikki114

  1. I can relate because I'm autistic too. I think I might have OCD also, but my shrinks don't think so. I don't think I could send stuff to my favorite COs either. I'm not good at picking out gifts and I believe in the whole 'never meet your heroes' idea.
  2. Sadly, no. The repetition only bothers me when I have unpleasant thoughts. Like with my CO and...her. I've gotten over other COs by focusing on their negative qualities and with activity. But this one is so much harder that the others. Because this guy has a perfect image, perfect family image, perfect everything. People are already predicting that he'll win an Oscar for his upcoming movie, which he probably will. I don't know if I'll ever get over him.
  3. I went on an Internet detox almost 2 months ago. It lasted for about a week. I meant even with the Internet and Wi-Fi taken away, I still thought about them a lot. My brain has the tendency to be repetitive and retain a lot of information. I go over the same thoughts and images in my head over and over again. Thinking about them together makes me feel crazy and depressed.
  4. I keep obsessing over this CO, his family and his partner. I can't stop these thoughts no matter what I do. I distract myself and it only works for a short time. I had my computer taken away--my idea--but thoughts of him and them still run rampant in my brain. It's like my whole obsessive brain is a trigger. NO social media or technology needed. I visit this fansite of his on Tumblr. That's trigger-central because she's a fan of his relationship. It makes me feel like I just ran thru a snowstorm without a coat on. NO matter what, it's relentless and I can't stop! Now there's this trailer of his next movie coming out in October. More interviews. They mention her and that's more triggering. Now after having a fairly good week and I feel like crap again. Thanks, CO & partner and kids.
  5. I feel this way too. I'm 34 and I have basically done nothing with my life. I spend my days thinking and thinking about this celebrity couple. I don't even like the woman, and that's the strange part. I'm not even sure I like the guy anymore. I was forced out of school five years ago. My mom and cousin are pushing me to go back. I don't think I want to anymore because the other reason I left was repeated failures of math classes. I don't wanna go back and fail math again. I want to do something big with my life.....without college. I'm in my 30s and I don't want to waste my time in a relationship. I want kids desperately, but like I said, I'm in my 30s. And my eggs are turning into dust. I have nothing to look forward to most days except this damn celebrity obsession that I don't want. I feel like I'm stuck.
  6. Possible epiphany last night: I get screwed over more by private celebs/people than more open ones. What I mean is at least one of my past COs was very open at first. Then he started dating someone new and became very private. The same with other COs. People seem to like private celebs for some reason. I never understood why. I don't like private and/or secretive celebs. Maybe just those kinds of people in general. Maybe because I feel like they're cheating me. IDK. I apologize if I offended anyone. This is very random and I just felt the need to share.
  7. Ladies, I found a loophole. You don't have to give up Googling entirely. But you do have to give Google your COs and their partners, for your own sake, right? So you just type in the names. You copy, paste in the blocker's list and hit "Enter". Voila! Now you can Google and not be tempted to look up your COs. Well, you will, but nothing will show up. Just remember to not to disable the blockers. Maybe you've already figured this out, but I wanted to help anyway.
  8. This obsession is chickening me, on top of everything else happening this month. I've seriously considered just ending it all.
  9. It seems that our relationships with 'celebrities' are the ultimate one-sided relationship.
  10. Not a good day today. I wish that time travel existed or that I can put myself in a coma for 10 years.
  11. Only when he's with his partner and their kids. It seems like I can handle him by himself or with his ex or something. Not when he's with....her.
  12. I know, right? Everyone tells me, "Get over it, Put on your big girl pants." It's not like I choose to feel this way. But thank you, people, for the kind words.
  13. I just realized that my COs get worse with I'm anxious. I have anxiety as well. It can make things......crazy with a capital "C". Do any of you experience with your COs too?
  14. I wish I could tear out my brain. I just can't stop thinking about him!
  15. Do you ever feel depressed after looking at your CO? I often find that to be true of me. I feel depressed, sometimes even suicidal, in those moments when I look them up. The next day is like a recovery day. Then BAM, no more depression. I'm good again. Is it like that for any of you?
  16. It's back and I'm hating myself again. Why do I always do this to myself? I feel like crap!
  17. A while now. Years, but I forgot how many. He's like some addictive drug.
  18. It's been rearing its ugly head again, and it's probably worse than ever. Help me!
  19. @HeatherG, @cassis_creme: Fandoms are crazy! Yes, it's always good to know that you're not alone. But more often than not, the fans end up ruining the celebrity for you, not making them better. There are so many fights. It's usually best to be singular. At least, in my experience.....
  20. What do you when you cave? I was doing so well too. *sigh.....
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