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About nikki114

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  1. I really wish I could be one of those people who are like, "I don't care about so-so's personal life. Just the music or the movies or whatever". But I'm not that kind of person. I'm nosy, I want to know as much as I can about CO. I wanna know as much as I can about people in general. But I've learned things about 3 celebs this year that I've obsessed over and respected that I wish I didn't know. Just now, I was on this "thirst and appreciation" thread about this celeb I like. Apparently, there's something that's got the women over there very upset. Someone apparently posted something on Tumblr about him and his 'girlfriend' or fwb. Screenshot and posted it. I tried reading the thing and blowing it up, but you need an account in order to read and access it. I considered it, but common sense took over and I found a phone app that block websites as well as apps. Thank the Goddess. I copy, pasted and block. I've already had an...interesting week. No need to make it worse. I don't know what it said, and I don't want to. I just know it'll make me madder at him and **** up the rest of my month or...life. The guy is typically very private, but his lover isn't. She is desperate for people to know that they are in a relationship. She's just a golddigger using him for his money and fame. And she's going to drain him dry. She's even opened an account on the website and talked about how 'beautiful and happy' they are together. Honestly, knowing that he's either allowing this or oblivious to it just makes lose respect for him. I'm starting to think that he's not who people think he is. My spidey senses are on fire about this woman. Three ****ing times! Maybe I should just quit celebrities altogether?
  2. Do you ever try to do something. whether it involves your celebrity obsession or not? Then suddenly, an unpleasant thought about him or her comes up. About their love life or damn YouTube comments about them, anything. And it distracts you and ruins your mood. Keeping you from enjoying your activity or doing your activity? I don't know. Am I making sense?
  3. I'm a jealous person, insanely jealous. I wish I could shut it down, but I can't. Celebrity or not, I don't even want to think about my obsession being with anyone else. Or it'll make me crazy. I suppress a lot of jealousy and possessiveness. I guess I can thank my Mars in Libra.
  4. DO you have thoughts about your imaginary boyfriends, friends, girlfriends whatever being with other people? Of course, I mean your celebrity obsessions. And the thoughts are just relentless, to the point that they **** up your everyday life? You just think things that you don't want to think and it makes you physically uncomfortable and/or ill? And you don't know why? You have trouble just snapping out of it? The harder you try to control, the more relentless the thoughts are? How do you make them STOP?! *Crazy lady. News at 6:00....
  5. I rarely feel like a functioning adult and this celebrity worship thing is just one of the reasons why. I'm autistic, probably OCD and ADHD as well. My life is so much different than my peers' lives. My family doesn't like me very much sometimes. I annoy them a lot and vice versa. It's too shameful to share this with people outside of these forums. I can't even tell my therapist. I mean, celebrity worship stuff not really the other stuff. It's...I don't know. He once said that you could easily Google his home address. Not that I'll ever do that for many reasons. Plus, he's in the South filming a movie. He's pretty much a rolling stone and a loner. And I have no desire to visit L.A. Plus, I hate when they say, "It's none of our business.". Whether they meant to or not, celebs always put their business out there. And people are naturally going to be curious about public figures.
  6. Well, it's happening again. I'm becoming obsessed with some other celebrity. I read the forum on one of his fan sites. They make me feel guilty for having such an interest in his private life. Not directly, I never opened an account on there. I'm a curious person, I have to know everything about everything and everyone. Do other people-directly or indirectly--make you feel bad because of your obsession when you're not busy doing that to yourself?
  7. I realized something this week. And that is this: A celebrity's personal life is important, somewhat at least. You wanna know if they're a good person, right? Or if they're secret assholes. I've learned some things about a celebrity I admired. He isn't exactly the good guy he so constantly portrays himself to be. Learning these things were very upsetting, but I'm glad I learned them. SO maybe there are certain perks to this disorder we have. Maybe.
  8. Bleep my life. Bleep this stupid celebrity obsession. Bleep him, her and them. Bleep my boredom. Bleep dependence. Bleep everything, I want my life back!
  9. I just unfollowed him on social media, mostly fansites. Small steps, hopefully big results.
  10. I just found out that a celebrity I had a years-long crush on is taken. For years, he was a single man. For some reason, I feel very hurt. I have kind of a burn in my chest. 2018 has screwed me over one final time. I don't wanna spend one more second obsessing over someone I'll never have. That ends right now and I'll try my hardest to keep it from happening again.
  11. I don't know why I'm so flipping obsessed over celebrities' love lives and such. I should be more focused on my own life. Just when you think you've been the addiction, it just comes back and attacks you. Celebrity addiction is apparently caused by depression. And this depression has been kicking my butt all year. I can't wait for the new year to start. And then maybe this ridiculous celebrity addiction will finally end!
  12. I just blocked some accounts on Instagram. Why? Because they featured some pictures of my CO with his partner. These people did nothing wrong to me, but I blocked them. Because seeing pics of him with her still makes me feel physically uncomfortable. I'm officially a freak.
  13. I've been reading articles like this for months. I can't stop rereading number #8 on this one..... *link removed*
  14. @starbucksjunkee: It's like I ping-pong between feeling bad about myself and feeling good about myself. Pessimism with occasional and recently more frequent bouts of optimism. I took the test and got a type 6. I read the description and it is pretty accurate. I also got strong Individualism and Thinker scores. Type 6 is barely in the lead.
  15. @starbucksjunkee: Sometimes, I wonder if the only way these obsessions would fully end if I got a man. My history with men is...not so great. I fell in love once, but he didn't love me back. He once said in front of our classmates that he wanted nothing to do with me. And I still clung onto him like a piece of lint on a shirt. I went on only one date ever with a different guy, but it took all of 5 minutes to realize we were wrong for each other. Even though the crush linger for a short while after. After that, I really liked someone and the feeling was mutual for once. I was so excited when he finally asked for my number. I didn't get his, and he never called me back. Months later, I saw him hand in hand with another girl. I was crushed, but I got over it pretty fast. After that, it was one failed attempt after another. One unattainable person after another. But it rarely progressed beyond flirting and talking. I ruined things before they could even get started. Then there was another guys a few years that I met on some site. I had Aspergers too. I liked him, but he wanted more than I could offer. I guess I got scared. I wasn't ready for a commitment, even with someone over the Internet. Very few people know about Internet guy. Somewhere across the line, I went from going after unavailable live guys to having imaginary relationships with celebrities. For the most part, it's worked for me. I could imagine exactly the type of relationship I'd want with a live person, enjoy it, get bored, move on. Lather, rinse, repeat. I've given up too, for the most part. I think the only man that could handle me is my brother, LOL.
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