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About Sentinel2

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  1. I went to another job interview and didnt get a job there either. This is so hard for me 😕
  2. I have 2 more job interviews in the next 2 weeks, lets hope things will go well
  3. Thank you for your replies, i decided to do some things for my GAD. I decided to go back to a higher dose of ADs. I will also start going to this group therapy once a week, it starts in september. I will also think about individual psychotherapy but it is quite expensive. I would be glad if u could give me a list of things that are proven to help GAD so i can take the necesary steps.
  4. Hey, I have problems with depression for many years but i am thinking i also have generalised anxiety. I would like to verify if this is true and would like to hear some advices how to battle this. Basicly my biggest fear right now is a new job - whether i will be smart enough to handle it or will i embarrass myself. I overthink this and everytime i think about it, i can feel it on my skin and feeling panicky. Its funny even when i think about my past jobs which i handled perfectly, i feel like i wouldnt be able to handle them now, which is just stupid. I also feel panicky about other things. Like how years pass and i get older. Even in a shop where i buy bread i am anxious ordering it. Its same about driving lessons, i am afraid i wont be able to handle it even though i know i can drive a car. When i do some projects of my own i also feel anxious even if they are completely simple things. And 1 last time, i am even afraid to play new video games because i feel like i wont be able to handle it so i replay old games over and over again. Lately i am even panicky about games i already finished many times - i feel as if this time i wont be able to finish them. This is really making my life an extra special hell. Is this generalised anxiety and how to battle this ?a
  5. I sent a few more applications and am awaiting their reply. I have to say i am terrified of a job, as in, will i be able to handle it, etc.
  6. Sadly i didnt get the job. It hit me pretty hard 😕
  7. I just wanted to let you know that i applied for the simpler less paid job and am awaiting reply. In my mind i don't really expect much but i am glad i applied. And while i am sad that i am not fit for the better paid job right now, i have to learn to live with my health problems and adjust accordingly.
  8. Hello, I finished college, now it is time to look for a job. I applied for a simple job. They replied me with an offer for a harder better paid job. I studied for this harder job and was happy of their reply. They gave me a simple task i have to perform to prove i am capable of this job. And here comes the depression and anxiety. I simply gave up on this task because i got so depressed and anxious, i simply didnt feel i am up for it. The reason this is so hard for me is that on 1 hand i would love to do this harder better paid job, if nothing else because i studied for it. But the reality is, right now i am just not capable of it. Every simple obstacle to me seems like life/death situation. So i thought about it rationaly and right now the best solution seems to be to just do the easier less paid job and get used to it, get used to the company, work, etc. And in time, if i get better, i can always apply for the harder better paid job. This is how i see it and would very much like your opinion.
  9. I added something to my battleplan :) Reading a book. I started with some easy reading, 100 rules for happy life. It's basicly not about what i read but about reading itself. I usualy do it while i exercise. I did find that reading calm me down. Which is amazing because all my life i was opposed to reading, i was more into tech than into old fashioned books. It is amazing to find out that this calms me down. Maybe in time i will read some challenging book, for now i just want to read some books somehow connected to depression, happiness, life, etc.
  10. Hello, i have a funny "disorder" if i can call it that. It all started when we got a new tv comunicator device that allowed to watch things that were on tv in the past. Meaning i can watch something from lets say 3 days ago on tv and i can also skip to a certain part of the thing. Basicly normal tv becomes like youtube - you can watch what u want, when u want, u can skip parts of video or watch certain moment in video over and over again. Now to my problem. When i watch videos, movies or scenes in a video game, i sometimes miss on certain moments because they are to fast or because i just think about something else at the moment. I guess this is normal. Probably depression is also to blame because its hard for me to concentrate. But this moments i miss arent important. But for some reason i feel as if they are and keep rewinding and watching them a few times in a row. For instance when i watch a tv report on some incident, there is a certain part of this report that for some reason i feel is very important and will watch it 3 or more times in a row. When i watch a movie or tv series, there are parts of the movie/series that i feel that is importaint and/or that i didnt quite understand and i watch it 3 or more times. This behaviour isn't damaging, but its rather annoying. Takes me 30% more time to watch a tv series or movie. Its similar when i play a video game. When i start a mission in video game where i have to choose difficulty, i sometimes restart it more than 3 times because i am unsure that i choose the difficulty i wanted. Even though even the first time there was no doubt that i selected it. Its similar to checking my sound amplifier when i leave my home. I check 3 or more times to make sure i put volume to 0 to prevent freak accident when it would start playing when im not at home and disturb neighbours. This is the best i can sum it up. So whats up with my behaviour ? Maybe to note, i feel extremely uncomfortable if i dont rewind video or check amplifier another time. I want to limit this behaviour and also would like an explanation what is going on.
  11. Funny thing, hiking really helps me. Calm and good feeling usualy lasts for hours after i stop walking, its really like a magic pill for me.
  12. A little update. I am getting used to my new apartment :)
  13. I have a few updates for anyone who is interested. First, today i went hiking for almost 2 hours with few short stops. I am happy with the acomplishment, in the last 12 years the most time in one go i went was 55 minutes. It was very hard but i had most of today depression free due to this - it was hard walking but it wasnt depression, it was pain which is different. And after i was on top of the hill i really felt good and the good lasted for few more hours. Now i am feeling less good as all evenings but even now its not that bad. I kept to my routine for 8 straight days and while this routine is really easy, i am proud that i kept at it, its harder then it really looks. Btw at my last outburst of severe depression 1.5 years ago, i started smoking again. A few days ago i tried stopping cold turkey with nicotine patches and learned that when you are very depressed, maybe its not the best time to stop smoking - depression and stop smoking just combine into a living hell. But i will still do something in this direction. In last 8 days i smoked on average 12 cigarets per day. I decided starting tomorrow i will cut to 10 and then each week reduce by 1 cigarete. Again writing this, this seems childish but as many of you understand, when depressed, even simple things seem like a big chore. I have it all written in an excel log and after a while i will post it here so you see how it looks, maybe it will help someone on his path.
  14. Thank you soo much for all the replies, it means the world to me. I will see how your advices can be incorporated into my routine. In my 20 minutes of exercises per day btw are pushups and squats. I like this so i can see how i improve, that makes me feel better. I will improve minutes per day of exercise in time and also add more exercises.
  15. Atra: Thank you for ideas. I might have problem both with doing something challenging and learning something new. Challenging for me is now every single little thing in life, everything seems so hard to do. And for learning something new, i really hate changes and new things. And while i thought that it would be fun and good to learn something new eachday, i just dont think i am capable atm.
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