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anxiousE

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About anxiousE

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  1. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    hello everyone I feel ok at the moment, although anxiety is a constant battle these days. It's mostly around meal prep. I'm a nervous cook. can't remember recipes and afraid of burns or cuts or just plain ruining meals with too much or too less of that. And getting all of it done with my chronic aches and pains always creeping around. I've started to write down some recipes, but i'm anxious about not being able to follow my notes. also, anxious about an upcoming overnight hotel stay. The last one we stayed at had bedbugs. I'm nervous about a repeat of that and being so far from home. I realize not every hotel is going to be like that, but I'm afraid nonetheless because it's in the same town where I once had bedbugs. But I'm working on some DBT techiniques and trying not to worry. Yes, I got a book that shares some DBT stuff, but I'm still debating actually going to a real therapist for it. Will see how well the book does for now. Peace!
  2. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    feeling good right now. plan for the day in place and I slept well. maybe a little anxiety that I'm not anxious haha good wishes for all of you!
  3. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    i feel ok. woke up exhausted so i am not too sure i was having an elevated episode yesterday or not because i was able to sleep. this is a good thing, but I still am skeptic about my diagnosis. oh well. only labels.
  4. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I posted in the wrong thread earlier today. I'm doing alright right now. I'd just like to remind everyone here that you're worth it and you matter and I hope everyone finds peace. Sometimes it takes us longer than we'd like, but patient perseverance can't be for nothing. Just want to send some well wishes to anyone who needs them right now.
  5. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Today? #32

    leveling out, but I was feeling kinda manic today. Stressed and racing thoughts. keeping an eye on this if it lasts. mood seems to have been elevating past few days.
  6. anxiousE

    New Diagnosis?

    Hello! I second the fact that this sounds like me. Recently, it has been defined in my diagnosed as "unspecified bipolar disorder". I've suffered more of the irritability and racing thoughts over the euphoric moments. I've read somewhere that in bipolar 2 your episodes might be more like four days long as opposed to a full week, and of course there are those that believe bipolar to be more of a spectrum and that there can be milder cases. I question mine a lot, especially seeing that I suffer more of the depressive side of it and have a family history of depression, but just today I was having this "caffeine" high feeling without the caffeine. And I'm not 100% sure, but I think the mood stabilizers (like Latuda and Abilify-although these technically might not be "mood stabilzers" but they work similarly) have helped me with my irritability and moodiness. In combination with an antidepressant (since I'm more depressed), I seem to be leveling out. I'll be testing this more as I just had a meds increase to see if that helps more. Hope this helps!
  7. @Epictetus Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I suppose labels help us understand each other a little. You're absolutely right, we are made up of more than a label though. I just thought I'd give it a whirl and see if anyone else identifies or even comes close. Thank you for saying that I've helped people. I will still continue to post in the other threads that I've been making connections. Hope you have a good day!
  8. Recently found out I've dependant personality disorder. My main hangups are fear of abandonment and fear of failure which manifest in me wanting to please people to keep them around me and I'm afraid of not being able to do that and procrastinate on things or refuse to do them. The latter may be part of my anxiety and relationship issues, but the former is the hallmark of DpD. I don't know much else on this though or how to go about help. I'm starting up therapy again soon and I see my psychiatrist tomorrow. Hope this helps, but I'd like to hear from you all. Or perhaps you'll just stop by and keep a lonely person company.
  9. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Hmmmm, feeling kinda lost now too. There is so much info on bipolar and bpd, but less or none on dependant personality disorder. I know they run similar and I can find support anywhere, but I wish there were more info.
  10. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Those guests left this morning and I can feel my heart breaking. Devestated. But I'm fighting it. Trying to be strong. What else can I do? I don't want to make others feel bad by my sadness...though we all feel it. Sigh. Going to be a long next couple of days
  11. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Anxious and sad. Some of my guests are going back home tomorrow and will leave quite a void. I also am expected to pick up the slack for chores but I hurt my hip awhile back. It's getting better, but nevertheless, I'm anxious because it's not 100percent. Oh, folks are understanding, but I still feel bad and sometimes feel I'm going to push it because of that guilt or just a need to do something. Oh but on top of all this, my husband isn't seeming to be taking my diagnosis and/or my past mistakes well. I'm trying to be open with him, because I need him (dependant personality too A factor, but financially as well) but he's not really talking to me right now and that makes me feel the worst! I really hope this blows over and soon.
  12. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    @LouisRiel I've pretty much given those things up already. What more is there?! Actually I could probably do well with more caffeine even. That's why I feel in denial. Could use the highs too, but I'm just in a depressed mood. I mean, I need a balance I guess.
  13. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now? #7

    I think this says it well for me too. I just confirmed unspecified bipolar, generalized anxiety, and dependant personality disorders. I suppose I'm not giving anything up at this moment, but therapy is supposed to have me make changes and I just don't know what that will have me do. Part of me still denies anything is wrong with me, well, besides depression sometimes and anxiety, but my relationships need fixing too I guess and my performance of tasks.
  14. anxiousE

    How Do You Feel Right Now? #7

    Just feeling crappy today. Whiny and anxious and a little stressed out, but like I wanna pull my hair out for no apparent reason except that I'm no good. Yeah, lack of confidence, um, restlessness...but boredom. Life bores me. So am I really sick or really just lazy?? Depresses me to think I'm just lazy. I know I have anxiety though. That blocks up stuff. *Sigh
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