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Everything posted by Helpme26

  1. No, personally I haven’t been on in ages because my obsession got way way way worse. And I’m just trying to keep myself alive atm. Lol. Aside from that I finished my university degree, so I’ve been super busy with that too. But my obsession is well alive. Unfortunately, hah. I hope everyone is doing well.
  2. What’s always great about this thread is just knowing that we’re not alone in this. Thanks so much for your response. I hope you had some great days throughout the holidays! I’m just glad I can come here and get things off my chest. It’s weird how I a year ago thought I was the only one who ever suffered from these weird obsession thoughts. But now I know it’s apparently more common than you would think. Sorry to hear you’re going through that! It’s a tough time. I find my CO being especially intrusive in my head during the holidays. Went to a Christmas lunch with my family yesterday and all they could talk about was my cousins new little baby, and I kept feeling like I was being overlooked. Because I’m the only one who’s still single, and I just wish I was with my CO so bad, and that I could bring him to next years Christmas lunch. I feel so lonely and I just wish I was with him. Darn it all!
  3. Hi guys, i haven’t posted anything in ages. So I hope it’s okay that I come out with a huge rant... Thought I would be feeling ok enough to handle some of the CO stuff on my own, but I’ve been ignoring it for too long again. And now I find myself on the very bottom of my own dignity. I keep returning to this weird phase called; if I can’t be with my CO then am I even worth anything, should I even live? It’s bollocks, I know, but things just seem hopeless atm. I still have this dream of being with my CO and I’m so often so convinced that I will that I get super excited, then crash completely once I realise it’s never gonna happen. Everything I do is because of him. I even got into this screenplay development education in hopes of being able to produce something so that I one day could come in touch with him. What’s even worse!!!! Is that I know this director, who had a Q&A session with my CO some time ago. And had I known, then I could have gone, and she could have introduced me to him. I am so unbelievably sad about this that I just don’t feel like I can exist anymore. So I’m turning to the forums again, hoping people who are stuck in the same situation as me can help a little. Hopefully. I hope you all have some great Holidays xoxo much love !
  4. Hello, so lovely to hear from you - It's been a while since I posted here too, it's always good that we're able to just come back whenever we need it :) I've never had any sort of "Ship" regarding my Co. Though I recognize it a lot the fact that the obsession and loneliness seems to go hand in hand. It's always really tough dealing with loneliness and then battling the fantasies of your CO. I hope you're doing alright ^ also!!! I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. The dating world out there is kind of an horrific scene, and I've also come to terms with that I might not ever find someone. And it's tough. Because I do want to find someone, but all people I meet I end up comparing to my CO. It's not healthy I know, but I can imagine you must feel kind of the same way? Especially with so many Barstewards out there. No offence to men in general, but I happened to force myself out on the bar scene last night, and I'm so disappointing how many men are so informal now, they're downright rude, and not really much of gentlemen anymore. My CO however, is very much like an old fashioned gentleman. Which I love. Spontaneous and creative, and he always seem like a joy to be in a relationship with. I'm sorry you feel that way with your friendships too. There's nothing worse than feeling so lonely and having to retreat to a CO - your CSO in this case. I don't personally participate in the fandom of my CO, but I can definitely understand your issue. :(
  5. This is actually really helpful advice. Thank you. I also have a tendency to continuously research and look at pictures at him. But specifically the research part because I’m obsessed with knowing where he is. But when I finally find new things, it only makes me more and more miserable. I didn’t realise it could be an ocd kind of thing. So this is really helpful. Thank you love.
  6. It so is. It’s horrible!! It’s just a way that brings you down, yet for some reason you can’t seem to stop doing it. @HeatherG just read the rest of the messages. I should have done that before I got all excited on your behalf. I’m sooo glad to hear she understood. It’s good to know ! And I totally get how it makes you feel just looking at your CO! I try avoid pictures of mine because he’s so gorgeous it makes me want to cry! Knowing I can’t have him and that it’s just a picture makes it awful!
  7. I’m so glad to hear you went to see a psychiatrist today!!! How is he/she? Is she understandable of your situation and how do you feel compared to the old one who was a judging ***** who didn’t take you seriously. hopefully you have had a good experience thus far. Is it going to be a weekly thing? Glad to hear it gave you some relief!!
  8. I agree, everything you can find online about your CO often just starts to get worse when you see it - at least in my instance.
  9. Sometimes yeah, it's a little rough community with the people regarding my CO. That's why I stay away, I don't want to get involved in all that drama that sometimes comes with it, which makes me feel insignificant.
  10. I'm fine either way, but it sounds like a good idea! I suppose those who have an unhealthy attachment to their CO can learn something from those who don't. I'm glad I can continue to use this group, especially through dark times like these :)
  11. The wildest fantasy? I guess that's being married to my CO. My biggest and wildest fantasy is just to be with him @Audrey822 I agree, Perhaps there ought to be started another thread for people who do have an "unhealthy" obsession. Like people like me for example. It would probably be an idea? Because then people who just have a general Obsession over their CO, won't be put in our category?
  12. @SeSa Wow! That sounds amazing. You're very lucky that you have such an amazing CO. That's lovely :) I really appreciate your response, it gave me something to think about. But what you write, still seems to me more like an actual fan mail.. I had sort of this weird idea in my mind that I would be writing so I didn't really come off as a fan. I don't really want to be put in that box, because I don't really consider myself one. It's hard because, I mainly wanted to write so I could see if things could go somewhere. I know that he is not very likely to 'small talk' continuously. And I'm afraid if I just write it casually, he would just remember me (in the scenario where he would actually remember me) as a fan. I wasn't gonna write anything about all my feelings ect. It's hard to explain, but here's the idea, briefed: I would compliment him from seeing him in a play that I really loved, and I would then in the end of it - after the compliments ect. refer to the time I once met him (which was like 6 years ago) and casually say something like: you probably don't remember me, but blabalabla --- and then eventually ask if he should ever be up for a chat or a cup of coffee I'd like to invite him to one. I know it probably sounds... weird and absurd. And idk why I even think it's a possibility to talk with him. He's very famous, so the likelihood of him replying or wanting to strike up a conversation is probably really low. But I appreciate that you shared your experience, it does give me something to think about. @Audrey822yeah I agree. I mean it's probably very likely I wouldn't get a response, but I don't really know what else I'm supposed to do as of now. I feel kind of stuck. I on one hand don't think it's a good idea, because I have this deep desire and hope that I'll end up with him. But now I'm not sure if that's even possible!! He has been basically completely inactive (work wise) for over a year, and he has now been seen in areas where houses are for sale - so it's very likely he will move away from London. That leaves me with no opportunity to go again and hope that I could meet him - it probably isn't good that I would either. I was devastated when i didn't run into him in December. Again, thanks for your inputs. It gives me something to think about.
  13. Yeah I know, it can be really hard catching up when people are suddenly online. Yeah those damn british men... it's no fair they have to be so damn awesome.
  14. How long have you fantazised about your CO? I used to be the same, but the thought that I could be with him one day kept growing and growing, and now; I also feel that dating is a waste of time, because in the end, no one is going to be as good as him. I just wish I knew what to do, and if there was anything I could do to end up with him. Probably not. but it really gets to me. Of course I'll keep my fingers crossed for you love. I hope that you'll get to be with him one day. <3
  15. Well, as far as I remember you did also say that your CO isn't that famous right? and that he lives near to you? Then I think it's more understandable, it seems like a more reachable goal, so I don't see anything wrong with that at all. It's a great hope to have, especially if it keeps you going and makes you feel strong I think, given your circumstances and his circumstances it seems like a possibility, and I truly hope that you'll get that goal one day. You seem to have endured quite a lot, you deserve it. So hopefully the universe will adhere to your request. unfortunately my CO only brings me down. This year I've been single for 10 years, and I'm afraid the fact that I think I can be with him hinders me in going out and finding love. My CO lives in London, as you know, and is really popular - Like REALLY famous. so it is perhaps more unlikely for it to happen that I can be with him. I've already tried meeting him numerous times. Last time wasn't a success.. maybe it's not meant to be. And maybe I need to learn how to move on. Because I feel incredibly lonely lately... I really long for someone to love me, mostly him.. but yeah
  16. that's my thought exactly... Yet I'm tempted to do it because I still have this fantasy that somehow I'll end up with him - and since everything else fails I was thinking that could be an option, maybe pretending I didn't really know him from other than theatre... But saying it out loud makes it seem a little ridiculous. I don't consider myself a fangirl either and I know should it have been thrown away or if he doesn't respond I would be devastated. So maybe if I gave him an art piece from my previous exhibition it would help, but then we're back to the 'I look like a fangirl track.' But I'm running out of options, and Idk. I'm really sick of not being able to date anyone because a) I'm thinking of him constantly, or b) I still somehow believe I'm gonna be with him. @Audrey822 you have had your CO for many years - much longer than me... have you ever constantly found yourself convinced that one day you would be with your CO? Has anyone experienced that ??? and maybe any ideas to how to convince yourself that it's not gonna happen, so that you can move on with your life. and @HopelessRomantic2011 I don't think you seem pessimistic at all, I do believe that's very valid. In most cases, actually, it seems that this is what's gonna happen when you send someone fanmail.
  17. I think it sounds like a good idea with writing stories ect. I hope everything works out for you :) I'm just gonna ask you guys again, because I'm not sure if anyone saw my old messages (and now when @imalittleteapot knows who my CO is.... well. I'll give it a go) have any of you ever sent a letter to your CO, sort of proclaiming you like them or would wish to meet them? I'm still stuck in this 'Idk what to do now, but I wish I could be with my CO'- kind of phase. And I want to send a letter... but I don't want him to think I'm complete bonkers lol!
  18. That sounds absolutely awful. No wonder you have had your CO for so many years if you're being constantly suppressed as a woman and sexually. I hope you would some day in the future find something that will make you happy, even if it is a divorce, and I know that you've been raised with that it's not an option, but you know - your happiness comes first and foremost. Everything else can be adapted to - hopefully. It's a good thing you have your grandchild to look forward to. at least that will provide something good in the hard times. You donøt need to say anything else. but I hope you're hanging in there <3
  19. Oh yeah, I suppose that’s right! I keep forgetting that obsessing over a celebrity is not always with the intention that you want to be with them. I’ve just never experienced it before so I thought it was interesting to hear.
  20. Just wanted to reply more in depth in a separate message. that sounds awful. It seems like it’s very understandable that you have a Co if you have never been fully satisfied as the woman you are, and especially having been taught sex before marriage is wrong. Let me just get this right, so you’re still with your husband? But he makes you miserable? I just want to know if I got it right. I’ve been absent for a while so I might have missed some messages earlier on, idk if this is a part of some longer conversation. My phone won’t allow me to browse through.
  21. Mine is in the marvel franchise yes, and it is who you think it is. That makes it absolutely embarrassing actually now that someone knows who it is :/ the marvel franchise is however not initially where I know my CO from. Those UK COs are terrible. They’re so absolutely handsome and no other men can really compete with them. It’s interesting that you have a crush on a CO who’s gay, I’ve never heard of that before. But that makes it a little easier to handle, I can imagine? Because you can’t do much about your own gender. I totally understand how that makes you feel! It’s difficult when other stars - or people who were basically unknown - starts working closely with your CO. I get that. It drives me CRAZY too! @Audrey822 congratulations with your upcoming grandchild! That’s something amazing to experience and look forward to :) Ps; I’m sorry if my vent earlier had offended anyone.
  22. I know exactly how you feel!! I have the same issue to be honest. I'm not very confident, I mean I look alright I'm kinda chubby but I don't look bad. yet I still go for guys who aren't attractive (except for my CO) because it makes it scary going for attractive guys. And in the end I do think it's hard for us to REALLY get into the dating thing when you're obsessed with a celebrity. it's really difficult. Because I know I for one keeps comparing others to him, and no one is ever going to be as perfect as him. This year is my 10th year of being single..... soooo .... I'm slowly adjusting to the thought of being alone forever lol. I feel very much like I'm not lovable, and I can't ever allow myself to love someone because it always ends in disaster and I just ends up retreating to my CO again. Hello advice_seeker, welcome to the forum. I'm really glad to hear that you have a great life aside your CO - I'm a little jealous actually, how many of you can/has that and I'm a lonely ****er who can't find love. LOL I really hope you can find some of the information in here helpful, we're all in the same boat so thank GOD no one is judging us in here. It's kind of nice to know that men can feel the same way about these things, it's not often I hear that, welcome ! even if my welcome is a bit delayed. A year? Ah, well that's not too bad. I know how you feel though, my CO is from UK too and that made me obsessed with that too! I've probably had this CO for almost 10 years now. If not more actually. I'm dreading every single day that I didn't do something back when he was still not very popular, now he's extremely famous and I have no chance of being with him whatsoever. It's been a long and lonely 10 years.. I really want to get into replying to everything you guys have been writing, but there's so much I've missed out on. I hope that's alright. I'm sorry. I hope you guys are okay and everything is going well so far for you, in 2018.
  23. I've tried to explore a lot of new things in the hobbies I already have - I have a TON of hobbies. Like I paint, draw, make sculptures, write, read, cross stitch, make things with beads, knit... a lot of things. So I always have something to do. I recently took up working out, because I need to get in shape (and mostly because I get motivated bc of my CO) But it's like everything I do, it doesn't matter what and if I'm learning something new such as making origami - which I suck at - or whatever, I always think of my CO. He's in my head constantly. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced that? It's like, when I eat, I imagine I'm eating with him, when I draw, workout, watch films or whatever - I always think of him in one way or another, either something reminds me of him or I imagine I'm doing the activity with him. even when I'm out with friends I imagine: What would he say and do if he was here with me? Why isn't he here with me? It sucks, I know. I don't quite know how to stop it from going on. I guess it's HARD to stop it when you're constantly still hoping/thinking that someday you'll be with him. I'm starting to fashion a letter to him, like I talked about previously, but I can't get myself to finish it and send it because I'll probably sound crazy and I would be devastated if he never replied. I'm even applying to something called manuscript development - which is a year long course that is part of my university education - and I'm only doing it so that I hope I can make it in the business he's in (acting.) Have any of you ever sent a letter to your CO? Thanks for being so kind. @Audrey822 thanks and thanks to all of you. My friend is finally home from the hospital and I'm beyond relieved. I went to meet her not long ago, and even though she's black and blue all over she's safe, and I'm happy that she's on a road to recovery, it makes me less worried now when she's home - and home with her mother and father too, so at least she's not alone.
  24. Thanks all, thank you for understanding. It's a hard time. Knowing he's back in London right now (with people having seen him) makes me constantly want to go there again and give it another try - I am just certain that's not a good idea. Nope. But alas, he's in my head constantly. It's really messing with me. I hate it. have you all had a great leap into the new year?
  25. Hi guys, sorry I haven't replied much or been very active but I've been WAY down about my CO. I couldn't even bring myself to write here because it made me so terribly suicidal (I'm okay though, I haven't done anything.) Therapy was okay, but I still can't tell my group about it. I am giving therapy a chance (I've been there for 2 years after all.) so it's not like I'm giving up on it. And my feelings keep getting stronger and stronger. And it makes me sadder and sadder that I don't know him and can't be with him. I still feel worthless when I'm not with him. I constantly dream of him being with me and I imagine him in every single day scenario in my life. sometimes I talk out loud to pretend he's there. Thinking about doing a letter or how I could meet him again, but it neeever works. I've tried for so long. It really depresses me. Thanks for the kind words though. I tried to, with my whole heart, to meet guys and go on dates. But I keep running into bad ones who talk down to me or treat me like . And when I finally meet a kind one I can't stop thinking; well... he's not my CO. And the others reminds me how flawed most men are and that they are scumbags, but my CO is such a wonderful - and very typical - english gentleman. Thanks for the very kind words though :) My Christmas and this New Year has been horrible. I've spend it alone and all I could think about was my CO and how he would spend his holidays and new years. Imagining me with him and us celebrating new years. Alas, I have to GET over HIM! I can't be with him, I've tried for years and years and it's not making my life happy, at all. On top of that my best friend had been hospitalized with a blood clot in her heart right after Christmas. She's still at the hospital and I'm so nervous about loosing her. I don't know what I would do if I loose her. It's a terrible start on New Year. I feel like every single year I've been like: This year will be different! I'll be happier, I'll forget about my CO and FINALLY get a boyfriend (After 10 years of being single 10 YEARS NOW), and at least I feel like: Oh well I'm at my lowest of the low, now it can only go up. But it always just keeps going down down down down. I'm like!??!?! What!? This year I have no expectations. I just think things will be the same. I'm sorry I'm being so negative. I truly appreciate you trying to cheer me up, and I'm super sorry that I'm just bumming everyone out here on New Years. So sorry about that. ANYWAY. Happy New Year to all of you. I hope you all have had a fantastic new year celebration!
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