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Helpme26

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  1. Hello, so lovely to hear from you - It's been a while since I posted here too, it's always good that we're able to just come back whenever we need it :) I've never had any sort of "Ship" regarding my Co. Though I recognize it a lot the fact that the obsession and loneliness seems to go hand in hand. It's always really tough dealing with loneliness and then battling the fantasies of your CO. I hope you're doing alright ^ also!!! I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. The dating world out there is kind of an horrific scene, and I've also come to terms with that I might not ever find someone. And it's tough. Because I do want to find someone, but all people I meet I end up comparing to my CO. It's not healthy I know, but I can imagine you must feel kind of the same way? Especially with so many Barstewards out there. No offence to men in general, but I happened to force myself out on the bar scene last night, and I'm so disappointing how many men are so informal now, they're downright rude, and not really much of gentlemen anymore. My CO however, is very much like an old fashioned gentleman. Which I love. Spontaneous and creative, and he always seem like a joy to be in a relationship with. I'm sorry you feel that way with your friendships too. There's nothing worse than feeling so lonely and having to retreat to a CO - your CSO in this case. I don't personally participate in the fandom of my CO, but I can definitely understand your issue. :(
  2. This is actually really helpful advice. Thank you. I also have a tendency to continuously research and look at pictures at him. But specifically the research part because I’m obsessed with knowing where he is. But when I finally find new things, it only makes me more and more miserable. I didn’t realise it could be an ocd kind of thing. So this is really helpful. Thank you love.
  3. It so is. It’s horrible!! It’s just a way that brings you down, yet for some reason you can’t seem to stop doing it. @HeatherG just read the rest of the messages. I should have done that before I got all excited on your behalf. I’m sooo glad to hear she understood. It’s good to know ! And I totally get how it makes you feel just looking at your CO! I try avoid pictures of mine because he’s so gorgeous it makes me want to cry! Knowing I can’t have him and that it’s just a picture makes it awful!
  4. I’m so glad to hear you went to see a psychiatrist today!!! How is he/she? Is she understandable of your situation and how do you feel compared to the old one who was a judging ***** who didn’t take you seriously. hopefully you have had a good experience thus far. Is it going to be a weekly thing? Glad to hear it gave you some relief!!
  5. I agree, everything you can find online about your CO often just starts to get worse when you see it - at least in my instance.
  6. Sometimes yeah, it's a little rough community with the people regarding my CO. That's why I stay away, I don't want to get involved in all that drama that sometimes comes with it, which makes me feel insignificant.
  7. I'm fine either way, but it sounds like a good idea! I suppose those who have an unhealthy attachment to their CO can learn something from those who don't. I'm glad I can continue to use this group, especially through dark times like these :)
  8. The wildest fantasy? I guess that's being married to my CO. My biggest and wildest fantasy is just to be with him @Audrey822 I agree, Perhaps there ought to be started another thread for people who do have an "unhealthy" obsession. Like people like me for example. It would probably be an idea? Because then people who just have a general Obsession over their CO, won't be put in our category?
  9. @SeSa Wow! That sounds amazing. You're very lucky that you have such an amazing CO. That's lovely :) I really appreciate your response, it gave me something to think about. But what you write, still seems to me more like an actual fan mail.. I had sort of this weird idea in my mind that I would be writing so I didn't really come off as a fan. I don't really want to be put in that box, because I don't really consider myself one. It's hard because, I mainly wanted to write so I could see if things could go somewhere. I know that he is not very likely to 'small talk' continuously. And I'm afraid if I just write it casually, he would just remember me (in the scenario where he would actually remember me) as a fan. I wasn't gonna write anything about all my feelings ect. It's hard to explain, but here's the idea, briefed: I would compliment him from seeing him in a play that I really loved, and I would then in the end of it - after the compliments ect. refer to the time I once met him (which was like 6 years ago) and casually say something like: you probably don't remember me, but blabalabla --- and then eventually ask if he should ever be up for a chat or a cup of coffee I'd like to invite him to one. I know it probably sounds... weird and absurd. And idk why I even think it's a possibility to talk with him. He's very famous, so the likelihood of him replying or wanting to strike up a conversation is probably really low. But I appreciate that you shared your experience, it does give me something to think about. @Audrey822yeah I agree. I mean it's probably very likely I wouldn't get a response, but I don't really know what else I'm supposed to do as of now. I feel kind of stuck. I on one hand don't think it's a good idea, because I have this deep desire and hope that I'll end up with him. But now I'm not sure if that's even possible!! He has been basically completely inactive (work wise) for over a year, and he has now been seen in areas where houses are for sale - so it's very likely he will move away from London. That leaves me with no opportunity to go again and hope that I could meet him - it probably isn't good that I would either. I was devastated when i didn't run into him in December. Again, thanks for your inputs. It gives me something to think about.
  10. Yeah I know, it can be really hard catching up when people are suddenly online. Yeah those damn british men... it's no fair they have to be so damn awesome.
  11. How long have you fantazised about your CO? I used to be the same, but the thought that I could be with him one day kept growing and growing, and now; I also feel that dating is a waste of time, because in the end, no one is going to be as good as him. I just wish I knew what to do, and if there was anything I could do to end up with him. Probably not. but it really gets to me. Of course I'll keep my fingers crossed for you love. I hope that you'll get to be with him one day. <3
  12. Well, as far as I remember you did also say that your CO isn't that famous right? and that he lives near to you? Then I think it's more understandable, it seems like a more reachable goal, so I don't see anything wrong with that at all. It's a great hope to have, especially if it keeps you going and makes you feel strong I think, given your circumstances and his circumstances it seems like a possibility, and I truly hope that you'll get that goal one day. You seem to have endured quite a lot, you deserve it. So hopefully the universe will adhere to your request. unfortunately my CO only brings me down. This year I've been single for 10 years, and I'm afraid the fact that I think I can be with him hinders me in going out and finding love. My CO lives in London, as you know, and is really popular - Like REALLY famous. so it is perhaps more unlikely for it to happen that I can be with him. I've already tried meeting him numerous times. Last time wasn't a success.. maybe it's not meant to be. And maybe I need to learn how to move on. Because I feel incredibly lonely lately... I really long for someone to love me, mostly him.. but yeah
  13. that's my thought exactly... Yet I'm tempted to do it because I still have this fantasy that somehow I'll end up with him - and since everything else fails I was thinking that could be an option, maybe pretending I didn't really know him from other than theatre... But saying it out loud makes it seem a little ridiculous. I don't consider myself a fangirl either and I know should it have been thrown away or if he doesn't respond I would be devastated. So maybe if I gave him an art piece from my previous exhibition it would help, but then we're back to the 'I look like a fangirl track.' But I'm running out of options, and Idk. I'm really sick of not being able to date anyone because a) I'm thinking of him constantly, or b) I still somehow believe I'm gonna be with him. @Audrey822 you have had your CO for many years - much longer than me... have you ever constantly found yourself convinced that one day you would be with your CO? Has anyone experienced that ??? and maybe any ideas to how to convince yourself that it's not gonna happen, so that you can move on with your life. and @HopelessRomantic2011 I don't think you seem pessimistic at all, I do believe that's very valid. In most cases, actually, it seems that this is what's gonna happen when you send someone fanmail.
  14. I think it sounds like a good idea with writing stories ect. I hope everything works out for you :) I'm just gonna ask you guys again, because I'm not sure if anyone saw my old messages (and now when @imalittleteapot knows who my CO is.... well. I'll give it a go) have any of you ever sent a letter to your CO, sort of proclaiming you like them or would wish to meet them? I'm still stuck in this 'Idk what to do now, but I wish I could be with my CO'- kind of phase. And I want to send a letter... but I don't want him to think I'm complete bonkers lol!
  15. That sounds absolutely awful. No wonder you have had your CO for so many years if you're being constantly suppressed as a woman and sexually. I hope you would some day in the future find something that will make you happy, even if it is a divorce, and I know that you've been raised with that it's not an option, but you know - your happiness comes first and foremost. Everything else can be adapted to - hopefully. It's a good thing you have your grandchild to look forward to. at least that will provide something good in the hard times. You donøt need to say anything else. but I hope you're hanging in there <3