Trust. I feel youre pain brotha. I too have this anxiety that tears me apart. I barely leave the house if I'm not working. Thankfully my job is easy and I don't have to deal with much. I'm a security guard for a gated community. It's easy. Whats crazy is I have anxiety even when I'm by myself it ****ing blows. I haven't had the money to get help yet .. so in the mean time I'm just trying to keep my head above water... But it is getting harder some days. I have become so slow due to my depression and can't focus in on anything... Which is one of the worst parts. I literally find no enjoyment in anything. But I do play video games and watch anime every now and then.. I used to have friends and go out a lot like a year ago. Sadly got in a super toxic relationship and was abusing mdma which played a big role in my depression.... I am now looking into research chemicals that might help me cope. Dissociative to be exact like DCK and 3 meo pcp. People are saying they have some anti depressant qualities. I literally have nothing to lose at this point . Just stay strong my dude. No should have to go through what you have . And you are so so so strong. We are all awesome creative individuals. Even though it's hard to see through this fog. It can't rain forever my friend. Hang in there yo!