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About Gomezaddams1951

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  1. I could go into my life and problems but it would make War and Peace look like a short story. Suffice it to say, pretty much every decision I have made has been wrong. No matter how good my intentions are what ever I decide to do comes back and bites me in the ass. Right now it is my love life that sucks. Mainly because I don't really have one. I married my first wife because she was thin, cute, 17 and super hot. We had four kids and she gained at least 100 pounds with each one. I ended up divorcing her when the kids were over 18. I went through a bunch of totally F'd up relationships, (I had two girlfriends die of over doses, it sucks when you wake up next to a dead girl. Both were strippers and high priced call girls.) and when I turned 55 I thought I had found the perfect woman. She is 5 years younger than me and although she has a LONG past (She claims to have had sex with over 100 guys) we hit it off, our sex life was good and things were awesome. Up until I ended up with ED. I have been working on trying to get things working and have gone on Testosterone shots and I have my libido back. Unfortunately she now says she is to old for sex (64 almost 65) and is not interested. I never have been able to get her to orgasm, she can only orgasm when she does it herself and she says her breasts do nothing for her as far as stimulating her sexually. She claims she has been like that since she started having sex at 14, and none of the guys she has been with was able to get her to orgasm either. So once again life bites me in the butt. I keep ending up with defective broken women. At 69, I am to old to go out and look for another woman so I guess I am just F**ked. If there is a god, I think he hates me. Sorry just needed to vent.
  2. Lies My Mother Told Me When I was young My mother told me about Santa Claus. How he would bring toys To good little girls and boys. I believed with all my heart. I asked him for toys and things he never would bring. I didn't know about being poor I just knew he let me down. When I was Young My mother told me about the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy too. I believed her; My mother would never lie. And then I learned the truth. When I was young My mother told me about god. How he would answer prayers And help in time of need. I believed with all my heart. I prayed and prayed Until my knees began to bleed. He let me down like Santa In days gone by. I look at my life and shake my head And wonder "Why?" Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and god Lies my mother told me.
  3. Colors Black is the color of my tortured soul, Deep and dark as the deepest hole. Red is the color of my angry rage, Fiery and terrible when it escapes its cage. Blue is the color of my sorrow and fears, Flowing like a river with my tears. White is the color of my frozen heart, Scarred and battered and torn apart. Grey is the color of my life, Drab and dreary and full of strife. These are the colors that surround me. These are the colors that confound me. No bright shades of yellow or green, No pretty colors anywhere to be seen. Just the colors of darkness, Ice and Blood, Sweeping over me like a flood; Washing over me and dragging me down Holding me under until I drown.
  4. God I look at the world Through weary eyes. I am tired of struggling And hearing all the lies That tell me "All will be well" "Put your trust in god, He'll save you from Hell". "God hears and answers prayers" they say "Knock and it shall be opened, Ask and ye shall be the receiver." And yet no matter how much you pray You get no answer from god the Great Deceiver. And when I question the way things are, They quote their scriptures and rationalize By giving me platitudes, Trite phrases And tell me even more lies Of how god love us, everyone "Why he even sacrificed his son!" But when I look around this world I see The pain, the suffering, the indignity. Why worship a god who lets this be? I think I'd rather become a Druid And dance naked around a tree!
  5. When my depression is the worst, I find I can write my version of poetry. I wrote this for my girlfriend who died of an over dose. Nothing like waking up and finding a corpse lying next to you. For Her Desolation: I look out upon a world Colored back and grey, Alone. I feel pain The hurt burns Eating away at me A knife twisting in my guts. Despair: I long for death To to join you... Freedom: From this agony Closing my eyes I see you lying there Cold and blue and lifeless. Our last kiss, No feeling No life Only death...
  6. I was diagnosed as having Dysthymia. I feel like I have been struggling with it since birth. I have gone to shrinks and took meds but nothing seems to work. Personally I think I am more Major Depression. Anyway figured I would check this site out.
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